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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask if WRS will negatively affect future employment prospects?

16 replies

Blackcat555 · 05/02/2025 12:25

Won't let me edit the title..wrs is work related stress. I have never been off with stress before but considering it. I cry a lot and cannot get a full night's sleep even with sleeping tablets, and constantly have thoughts racing through my mind.
I've only been here for 2.5 months but I am completely out of my depth and do not enjoy any aspect of it. I find the manager very nitpicky and patronising, there isn't enough time to do the work and I haven't a clue what I'm doing.

I fortunately have another job offer, but just waiting for the DBS to return. I did have one previously but it was only adult workforce and they need child and adult.
It's been paid for, documents have been viewed. I've lived abroad but not in the last 7 years, there's been some kind of faff with addresses but hoping it'll be not too long now.
That said, I know DBS can take anything from days to weeks.
Anyway, I'm not sure how much longer I can cope in this current role. As far as I know I've already got a reference (new role didn't need one from my current job) so it's just a case of the DBS.
Don't want to abuse sick leave, but I really do feel anxious and panicky every day.

OP posts:
Original poster
Blackcat555 · 05/02/2025 12:26

I've only had 1 sick day in the last 2 years (I think people shouldn't be penalised if they are genuinely sick and dislike the whole system) but what I'm saying is my current records shouldn't go against me.

However, if I were to go on sick leave I'm worried this will affect me getting a reference and will reflect badly in the future

OP posts:
EBearhug · 05/02/2025 12:29

What's WRS?

InvisibilityCloakActivated · 05/02/2025 12:29

What's WRS?

Original poster
Blackcat555 · 05/02/2025 12:30

EBearhug · 05/02/2025 12:29

What's WRS?

Work related stress, sorry I should've worded it better, I meant being signed off with stress.

OP posts:
EBearhug · 05/02/2025 12:35

Does the new job ask for a medical questionnaire at all?

These days, many employers offer nothing more than, "Employee was employed by us from date X to date Y as Job Title."

I would think that as your sickness record is otherwise good, you would be okay, but as we don't know the organisations involved, no one can guarantee it 100%

Original poster
Blackcat555 · 05/02/2025 12:38

EBearhug · 05/02/2025 12:35

Does the new job ask for a medical questionnaire at all?

These days, many employers offer nothing more than, "Employee was employed by us from date X to date Y as Job Title."

I would think that as your sickness record is otherwise good, you would be okay, but as we don't know the organisations involved, no one can guarantee it 100%

I haven't been asked for one thus far and don't think I will be hopefully. I'm leaving from the Civil Service so not sure how in-depth their references are.

Hopefully it will be OK..

OP posts:
Catza · 05/02/2025 12:51

A bit confused about your reference situation. You say you don't need it but a few posts below you say you are worried about references. So do you need one or not?
Don't know about civil service but in the NHS, the references need to include record of sickness. Being off sick with stress is not an issue (and the employer is not required to disclose the reason) but being off sick at the exact same time as waiting for an offer of another job could definitely raise some eyebrows.

Original poster
Blackcat555 · 05/02/2025 12:54

Catza · 05/02/2025 12:51

A bit confused about your reference situation. You say you don't need it but a few posts below you say you are worried about references. So do you need one or not?
Don't know about civil service but in the NHS, the references need to include record of sickness. Being off sick with stress is not an issue (and the employer is not required to disclose the reason) but being off sick at the exact same time as waiting for an offer of another job could definitely raise some eyebrows.

Sorry should've been clearer, it'll be OK for this job but say in the event I change jobs in the future.

OP posts:
Jellycatspyjamas · 05/02/2025 12:54

If you’ve only been there a short time will you qualify for sick pay? I know in my place you only get 1 week paid sick leave for the first 6 months. If not you might be as well resigning than having your attendance record impacted.

Catza · 05/02/2025 12:55

Blackcat555 · 05/02/2025 12:54

Sorry should've been clearer, it'll be OK for this job but say in the event I change jobs in the future.

Show quote history

Then you submit references from your most current employer

LCM001a · 05/02/2025 12:56

Well you will be getting into 6 degrees of separation with the current job. When you move jobs the new employer will become your main reference, you can then decide who to put down as a second reference. I'm about to move jobs and i asked someone to give a ref for me, but that will be the last time I use them.

Original poster
Blackcat555 · 05/02/2025 12:57

Jellycatspyjamas · 05/02/2025 12:54

If you’ve only been there a short time will you qualify for sick pay? I know in my place you only get 1 week paid sick leave for the first 6 months. If not you might be as well resigning than having your attendance record impacted.

I'm in the Civil Service, been here 18 months in total, I think I qualify but need to double check.

OP posts:
Original poster
Blackcat555 · 05/02/2025 12:58

You are right regarding using your most recent employer. However in 2019 I had a job that wanted a reference from everywhere I'd ever worked since graduating !

OP posts:
LCM001a · 05/02/2025 13:00

That is very unusual and I am sure that many of my previous employers would not want to be bothered to do this. Plus many organisations will only confirm that you have worked there and will not write anything about performance because they can not be truthful. The NHS does this, maybe check what the civil service writes as a reference

Original poster
Blackcat555 · 05/02/2025 13:02

LCM001a · 05/02/2025 13:00

That is very unusual and I am sure that many of my previous employers would not want to be bothered to do this. Plus many organisations will only confirm that you have worked there and will not write anything about performance because they can not be truthful. The NHS does this, maybe check what the civil service writes as a reference

Yeah, I really hope that was a one off. It was a state school, the reference process was absolutely insane, they asked the employer to rate me out of 10 in various categories including dress sense and humour!
And I know they actually did seek every single reference as they contacted a café id worked at years prior as a student!

OP posts:
EBearhug · 05/02/2025 17:55

I have a friend who, a couple of years ago, applying for a role in a private school, had to give a reason why he had a 3 week gap between his summer job and going back to uni in September 1992. He fortunately did know he'd been on holiday, but really, many people wouldn't remember that far back, and there is nothing unusual in taking a break like that. It did seem excessive.

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