Lingering feelings??

[Parentalunit1]

I feel I need a sense check:
In the last couple of years at secondary school I (F) had a male friend, John. We were not super close, but he was supportive through some difficult family things. He was part of my larger friendship group. He one day told me he liked me, but that he knew I liked someone else. We continued as before, but we all generally lost touch when we left school (pre mobile and email).

Many years later we became ‘friends’ on Facebook. He’s married with kids, as am I. Usually just traded comments on cute pics of kids.
I recently made a joke comment on a joke post of his. He then sent me a note on messenger with a snippet of a song with the comment ‘For you Parentalunit1… it’s in the lyrics x John’
I had to google the song to make out the lyrics, but the snippet says (paraphrased) ‘they make me free, I’m stuck, it was too good to be true’. The whole song is about a guy in high school who likes a girl who doesn’t like him back.

I was a bit confused, so replied asking if he was reminiscing, or overdone it the night before? Then wishing him a good day.

I’ve not had a reply, but on Facebook he then posted about being in a bad mood, but that a song changed his mood. The song seems to be a girl telling a guy she’s not hanging around waiting any more. I’m worried that I might have hurt his feelings, again.

So, my AIBU: does he have lingering feelings 30 years later??
YANBU: he has lingering feelings and you’ve upset him
YABU: get over yourself, you’re reading too much into this

Whether he does or not, you’re both married. If your marriage is unhappy then work out whether that’s something you want to solve, or something you want to end, and cast your focus there - not on whether some man you haven’t seen in decades and last spoke to as a teenager might still have feelings for you. All that’s going to happen here is he’ll gradually breadcrumb you into the online sexy chat he’s trying to instigate with his “mysterious” references to songs and poetry, and you’ll spend ages trying to work out what it allll meannnnssss, until he eventually gets bored.

You reply saying "those were good times John, but the past is the past and we have both moved on"... Nostalgia can be really toxic when you are dealing with reality many years later with a kids and mortgage. I would exercise care.

I assume he's just making a humorous reference to him having liked you in your long-past schooldays, while you had the hots for someone else. You made a joky comment on a post of his, so he was returning in kind.

No, I don't think he's still harbouring romantic feelings for you decades later.

Thank you, that’s a good view point. I tend to worry and overthink, so not thought of it like this.

Tread carefully OP, I got myself into a very bizarre situation with an old school friend and ex from way back. Started innocently enough, but he used to send me songs and stuff! We both seemed to re- catch feelings for each other but were both married and lived a long way from each other, thankfully!! Think he was having a text book mid life crisis and unhappy marriage (according to him 🙄!!) and I was too and it spiralled into a full blown emotional affair with him messaging me all night etc!

Think it's quite common sadly!

He used to share a lot of stuff with me about his wife, I was careful not to get drawn in... long story short, she found his messages and game over!!

He was the one pushing the Boundaries and contact, was hardly me but when it all blew up I was sad as I missed him... I can see years later, on reflection that this was poor judgement on both our sides... we are still in touch, but it's only occasionally... I guess my point is, be careful, middle aged men plus nostalgia and in the drudgery of real life can re-ignite something, a crush or other feelings! Don't get caught out like I did 🤦‍♀️

I hope it was all jokes. A grown man using song lyrics to express his feelings would be cringey