Weaned toddler, started mounjaro, toddler is now struggling

[Toopdeloop]

I have intentionally not put this in the weight loss injections section because I don't think it's just about the weight loss and would like a wider spread of opinions but happy to ask for if to be moved if it would be better placed there.

I put on a disgusting amount of weight over the last few years whilst having two pregnancies, it wasn't the pregnancies that caused me to gain weight but over that time I had something happen which became ongoing and I found difficult to deal with and food became my coping strategy. I went from 10 to 15stone in 3 1/2 years and was struggling to stop over-eating of binge-eating to deal with this thing going on in my life (don't want to say as it may be outing). I have lost so much confidence as a result and was also worried about the example I was setting for my children so I did some research and decided to start on mounjaro. I was still breastfeeding my 19month old toddler however just at night for comfort, so I decided to wean her. DP works away a lot so I waited until he was home for a while so I had his support and he did most of the bedtimes initially and it all seemed okay. He then went away offshore for work and to begin with my mum came to stay a few days (she loves a couple of hours away) and she helped with the other kids while I got toddler (20months old by this point) settled. All seemed well and okay, she had the odd tantrum wanting it but these were not too much and stopped quickly and she was sleeping well each night so I started taking mounjaro. It's only been a week and a half and I've lost 8.5lbs but already starting to feel more confident and better in myself that the weight is coming off. My sister's wedding is in 6 weeks time and it makes me feel better knowing at least I'll be a bit smaller than now, if not at my ideal weight yet. It has completely stopped me binge-eating which was my main issue as I actually eat well the rest of the time anyway.
My mum went back home and suddenly my toddler now doesn't seem to be coping. Bedtimes are awful and she is having huge tantrums each night which can last for ages, nothing I do or give seems to comfort her until eventually she is so worn out by the tantrum she comes for a cuddle while crying (she won't accept one before that) and will eventually fall asleep sniffling in my arms. The last few nights she has been waking once a night and having the same tantrum. I am exhausted and no doubt so is she. The tantrums seem extreme and I actually find it quite distressing particularly as I can't seem to give her any kind of comfort. I don't think this can be good for her or a healthy way to fall asleep. I've tried setting a calm and nice bedtime routine but as soon as it's time to go to sleep she just goes wild.
I'm almost regretting weaning her and questioning if I should stop taking mounjaro so that I can nurse her again until she is ready to stop. My older child nursed until they turned 3 and then we stopped. I know at 20months they can go without breast milk but I think that for her it's her comfort and I can't stand seeing her so distressed each night. At the same time though I would love to be able to stay on it so that I can continue losing weight and I wonder if I should just power through (obviously I can't do both). What should I do?

The Mounjaro doesn’t leave your system for 10 days so you will need to keep finding other ways to settle your toddler during that time anyway, by which point she is likely to have got used to it.

Id put yourself first on this one. The Mounjaro is improving your health and mental health. Your little one will be fine, just a difficult patch.

If you are really unhappy, then come off the Mounjaro and start again next year but allow it to leave your system properly before bf toddler.

Is it the routine and comfort of being snuggled close to you she is missing?

Could you replicate this in some part with a bottle feed whilst cuddled on the sofa and just having quiet time together as part of her new bedtime routine?

I tried to replace with a bottle and snuggling with her in bed as this is what DP was doing with her but with me it's been hit or miss if she would take the bottle and sometimes offering it too her would make her kick off. It was easier when my mum was here as she could deal with my 3 year old's bedtime while I got toddler down and the routine went much smoother, now I'm juggling them both (plus their older brothers but they are OK themselves for the most part), so she had the odd girn sometimes but it would be over quickly and some nights she was fine and straight to sleep. When it's just me it just doesn't seem to go the same even when I ask one of the older ones to watch my 3 year old while I get toddler to bed.

I don't think you should stop. Do this for you. Your DD needs to get used to being comforted another way or self soothing. It worked when it was DH or DM so perhaps she can feel your anxiety. My DH was so much better than me at this as I used to get worked up and although I tried very hard not to show it, I think my DC could feel it.

I think now you’ve started you might aswell continue as your DD will settle down soon. Keep going, and well done on the loss so far.

You’ve done 20 whole months, plus 3 years for your other child with a husband that works away! I’d really and honestly put yourself first in this instance. Eventually, your toddler will settle. I’d grin and bear it. Good luck with your weight loss journey!

I don't know what the right thing is to to do BUT you will need to find other ways of self-soothing yourself. If the food isn't an outlet you will need another one. Good luck.

Have you asked for specialist advice? This is a good service on medications while breastfeeding, they don’t have anything on Mounjaro but you can put in a query for an expert to answer.

www.breastfeedingnetwork.org.uk/drugs-factsheets/?_factsheet_text

Push on. Weight loss aside, your little one will always fuss about change but you shouldn't be guilted into going back. She's getting older now and needs to move on. Your weight loss will benefit you and her in the future. Well done and keep going.

I agree.

Keep pressing on. She'll get used to the new normal eventually.
I would try a few different options and id also put in ear plugs. You can still hear the buggers! But it really dials down the intensity.
Shes big enough now.

My weightloss has been "slow" ive lost 30kg in 11m and its transformative. Im still not there - another 1-2 stone to go.

It does seem as though the change from breastfeeding is a catalyst but as some consolation/ reassurance, there is a general sleep regression around the time they turn 2 as well. My little one who slept full nights and happily put herself to sleep once we’d left the room started having huge tantrums and needed us to spend ages settling her (although holding her, patting etc didn’t seem to offer any consolation) around 22 months. We have used it to build a new routine where she has a bottle before we go upstairs for a story and we’re now at a point where she will go to sleep in bed by herself as long as we sit in the room until she’s asleep. She’s still waking in the night reasonably often. My friends with similar aged toddlers have all faced similar.

So on that basis I think you should persevere as there’s no guarantee that this wouldn’t be an issue anyway, and like others have said, you’ve give up your body for a long time. She will adapt and you’ll find a way that works, you’re just in the trenches for the moment.

She’s regressed a little, it’s what toddlers do, ride it out.

As for the jabs, I’m glad you are feeling more confident but have you addressed the underlying issues of your binge eating and using food as a coping mechanism? If you haven’t, then you need to.

After a week and a half plus ten days to make sure it is out of your system, will your body still be producing milk for her? I once went for five days without feeding my toddler, but if she is just having one quick one for comfort, I'd gently suggest you find a new way to bond and comfort her. It sounds like you might be finding the transition hard and have a lower tolerance for stress. Even with mounjaro, you will need to build coping mechanisms for stress and resilience.

No do not do this.

You sre setting yourself up to have this for years. Put her back in bed, kiss her on the head, reassure her and then go back to bed, on repeat. Be gentle and speak softly, but be firm.

Has she seen a doctor to rule out ear ache or other issues?

Maybe she misses the extra attention of your mum?

Keep going as you are, she won’t tantrum for ever. And I wonder if she’s picking up on your feelings, so no more thinking of going backwards, move forwards with no breast feeding and she needs to find her new way of settling.

I stopped BFing at 20m. If DS just had a cosy bedtime feed, that would have been fine but he'd been getting more demanding and after nearly 5 years of near constant pregnancy and breastfeeding I was ready for my body to be mine again.

I remember repeating that the milk was all gone. He did stop the asking/ pestering after about a week.

I also think I would hesitate offering food as comfort. This is how comfort eating starts. Sing to her, cuddle her and help her to self soothe.

Keep pushing through

Thank you for all the responses, last night was just an awful night but tonight she was so tired that she went down with far less of a fight (still a small tantrum but for a length of time that felt normal). I'm going to continue with the mounjaro.

For those saying that I will need to be developing new coping strategies, I absolutely hope to! Before the current situation with DP working away so much and not being near family, my old coping strategy used to be exercise, usually hiking or climbing. I find that hard now because of childcare (will do smaller hikes with the kids but prefer not to go alone with them for bigger days out). However since starting mounjaro and starting to lose weight, it has helped my mindset so I've been to the gym so I'm hoping that I can develop that as a healthier strategy to use to cope with stress.