My hair is bollocks it will not conform!

[TangledTeabags]

Nothing ever worked. So unless a huge mane of fuzzy waves becomes the new thing, it ain't going natural!
I kind of love it, tbh, it makes me look good, but it seems big fluffy hair is never a good idea if you have to attend a job interview or some other social thing.

So over the years, even on MN, I have asked for advice. I was crucified here years ago for using straightening brush on my long hair, and told to cut it all off as it was ugly and vile. Nice.
Everyone insisted my hair would grow back healthier and frizz free, that the texture would look fine.

Well I did lop it all off, and re-grew it to shoulders, took forever, kept my natural colour and never used a heated device again. And guess what? It was still frigging frizzy, dry, crazy and basically the SAME bloody hair.

So I either tame it somehow with minimal heat, or I go wild.
I tried the curly girl thing a while back too, it made it look worse. I only have waves, and washing without silicones made my hair lank and oily and stringy. I tried every damn method with no joy.

Everyone tells you to always keep it 'natural' but natural isn't always convenient.

I have pyramid hair. The only way I can style it is with velcro rollers.

my hair LOOKS like velcro!

My hair is extremely annoying too. It drives me crackers so I book an appointment to have it 'seen to', or cut a lot shorter.

It then spends the next few days behaving perfectly as if to say 'Oh, surely you'd never think of cutting me short when I'm so swishy and gorgeous?'

I've learned not to trust it!

Ah, i have found my people. I tie it back and try not to look at it, but still have Einstein frizz on top. I hate it.

My life

Make that dark brown and it's the spit of me in the morning.

What do you do with it already? Do you condition it? Do you use any styling product? My hair and I are not friends but we established a truce after I started using proper curly conditioner (Umberto thirsty curl), followed up by leave in, curly gel (Umberto scrunching jelly) and a bit of twisting and/or diffusing.

I have hair that resembles Hagrid from Harry Potter. My whole life was planned around my hair: when I wash it, time to try it, straightening etc.

A year ago I have a keratin smoothing treatment. It’s not an exaggeration to say it’s changed my life. I literally dry my hair in 10 mins and it’s good to go. I redo it every 10-12 weeks.

I wasn’t even convinced it would work whilst having it done! So happy I tried!

I have the same hair, it’s been a learning curve 😆

First, find a hairdresser who knows how to cut curly hair, many cut for straight and it doesn’t work for us. There’s a diagonal cutting method, look it up on TikTok and find someone who does that. It makes your curls bounce instead of being weighed down.

Secondly, henna works really well to calm it down. No drying with dyes or harsh products.

Thirdly, never go in humidity without your hair covered (including showers). Takes all of five minutes and my hair is crazy.

Fourth, don’t wash every couple of days. It’s horrific for curly hair and really dries it out. Our hair seems to need more oils than straight.

Fifth
Get yourself the correct combs (Afro comb)..normal brushes don’t work for us

Sixth
Experiment with products. Milkshake is expensive but very good on our hair. Right now I’m using a dab of got2b hair oil and that’s helping to tame it

good luck! Hope this helps

I tried it all.
Every method going. It doesn't want to curl when it isn't curly. I think there's a presumption that all frizzy hair is curly.
I spent months and a fortune on products only to look like an oily medusa.

It seems at it's best if a very lightly smooth it with a glide brush. It doesn't go straight but keeps a less frizzy, soft wave.
I use Kerastase hydrating shampoo and conditioner and a heat protector from same range.

I would never use straighteners and blow drying sends it crazy.
I figured the less product i put in it, the happier it was.
It will always be crap though.

Just to add, I don't have curly hair. Wish I did.

I'm not after advice at all. My post is about accepting that going natural isn't always simple, convenient or preferable. If that was the case the no one would dye their hair or use make up.

Mine is not curly either. It is thin, wispy and has a weird soft curl... until I put scrunching jelly in it. Then it actually forms a decent wave/curl and isn't half as frizzy as it normally is. I only wash it a couple of times a week and by day 3 it does look like I've been dragged through a hedge but I get two glorious hair days before then which is more than I ever managed to accomplish in 40+ years of being on this earth.

Oh sorry, I wish I could be of help. Someone mentioned keratin treatments to tame it and they really do work (I’ve had it a couple of times) might be worth looking into. Wish you luck 🍀

@TangledTeabags "Everyone insisted my hair would grow back healthier and frizz free, that the texture would look fine."

what the what now? Someone here advised you cut your hair off and you'd get new magic hair growing instead? And you believed it?!

before I saw this post I was just thinking about how I can sort my hair for a weekend event. Have decided I can't be arsed - nothing I do will survive the journey and hat anyway. Sorry but sounds like your hair is similar. I think it's a lot cheaper to just accept it! And easier and not time consuming.

Go for nano keratin (it's chemical free and good for your hair). Game changer. I also did the chemical version when I lived in the tropics but was bad for my hair and, I think, gave me a lot of hair loss, though that may have just been peri menopause. I'm a total nano convert

What's it like if you have it cut really short? Like a masculine style? Would that suit you?

Been having organic keratin straightening for a few years - game changer.

I know you didn’t want advice, but do you brush your hair? Stopping was a game changer for me. I brush itout before I wash it, then just leave it to dry, or even better wash it in the evening then bung it up in a sort of bun until the next day, and I have nice waves.

I have done the 'stop brushing', I did that for over two years. I looked like a depressed poodle.

I was looking for people who had tried everything and just gone back to the easiest way, really.

And to the PP who asked; yes, usually cutting off damaged hair can be a decent re-fresh. I'm sure it works for people with a different texture to mine, or those who are growing out bleach damage. Not sure why that is difficult to believe.

Just looked at Keratin treatments.
It advises you to get it done every 3 to 4 months at £100-£300 per time. Fuck that. I'd rather just shave it all off.