To think it's normal for opposite sexes to develop feelings in close proximity

[laaadylaa]

Just curious what people's opinions are on this. I know people say men and women can be friends with no feelings and I don't necessarily disagree.

But would you say it's normal, when in close proximity to someone day in day out, of the opposite sex, to develop feelings or attraction?

Admittedly I'm trying to stem my own guilt and bit. I'm married and I love my husband, we have a good relationship 99% of the time and I am not in any way considering leaving.

However, I work very closely with a man at work and I can't help but feel a bit of tug toward him sometimes and I feel so bad about it. We don't flirt and nothing would ever happen but we do banter and talk a lot at work and I feel like if I weren't with DH I'd like to be with this man. I sometimes find myself day dreaming about what it would be like with him.

I'm normal aren't I? I'm not some hideous wife?!

Unfortunately no option of not working with him so I'm just being careful in our conversations not to let anything get inappropriate and hoping this fades (but it's been years!)

It’s not normal for me. If I’m attracted to someone, it happens immediately. Later after I get to know them or get used to them, it might wear off. It has only happened to me a handful of times in my life. It never happens the other way. If the attraction isn’t there from the start, no amount of time spent in close proximity will create it. But that’s just me.

That's not normal for me

No I don’t think it’s normal.

I think it’s normal.

You can think about it, but don’t do it.

I too work in male dominated industry and no I dont fancy my colleagues. Plus people put on a different persona at work and at home.

Its normal for heterosexual people to feel attracted to the opposite sex. It's also normal for attraction to grow out of respect, friendship and regard, especially if the person makes you feel good about yourself with their special attention, kindness, compliments and so on. However just because it's normal doesn't mean it's not a massive risk to your primary relationship if you don't take great care. If you don't want this to escalate into something threatening to your marriage, you should really step right away now. Because imagining being with him is only a step away from wishing you were (when your husband annoys you or doesn't give you the attention you need etc) and that's just a step away from finding a way to be with him more.

There are stats which support the idea that working long hours in close proximity sees more affairs happen - retail and the legal field spring to mind. However, I don’t think that makes the behaviour normal per se.

I have a couple of male colleagues I get on really well with but in the same kind of way I get on really well with my brother.

Common, not "normal"

I don't think it's normal to develop feelings just because you are in close proximity- no. I do think it's normal to have a crush now and again. That's not really anything to do with close proximity though. That's due to meeting someone you have chemistry with. If you were both single these are the people you would probably date. As you're not they're not and are just someone you have chemistry with.