how much is a reasonable amount to spend on friends birthday gift?

[Sladequeen]

Not really an aibu but asking because recently a friend was shocked at my planned spend for my child’s birthday (£150 aged 15), this is on top of a shopping trip and hotel stay.
i am a single parent on low income but have saved for this.
my child is disabled, doesn’t have much joy in life And I just want them to feel special.
but am now questioning my judgement altogether..

So, completely different scenario, a good and kind friend has a non-milestone birthday.
i usually spend around 10-15 on friends presents but I’ve seen a gift which is £40, tracked it down brand new and boxed to Vinted and can’t get the eller any lower than 25 so obviously this will include postage on top.
this friend is incredibly generous and thoughtful to everyone and is hosting a huge party at great expense as well as hosted other amazing events which I can never reciprocate because I hate hosting with a passion
this present is so appropriate but also I have often spent way more on the other person than they do on me and end up feeling like I look too flashy.
I’m not and I don’t do it for what I get in return, my last gift from this person was a mug, that I love , and relevant to our friendship, so I’m definitely not gift matching or speculating to accumulate!
I guess I’m here before I make that Vinted splash out but also a bit worried in case it goes to someone else 🤣
so kind of aibu to spend this money where I wouldn’t spend the same on other friends?

Op, presents are very individual - so do what YOU think is right, and don’t take any notice of anyone else. Buy your friend the present you think she would like, and if any other friends raise an eyebrow, just say you got it second hand off the web. If you have saved for your DS’s birthday, then enjoy it with him, and don’t let anyone else make you feel bad about what you choose to spend, so long as you have budgeted for it.

Whatever you feel is right for the recipient and what you can afford/manage to save up for without it impacting general bills is the right amount to spend. It will vary massively. It sounds as though both your child and your friend are deserving of the money and effort you’re putting in for them.

Ah thank you for lovely responses, I’m prone to second guessing myself, especially when faced by shocked reactions 🤣

Definitely do what you think is right, everyone is so different, because some people expect to get extravagant gifts because that's what their experience with friends is, and some love getting a simple smartshow 3d birthday video. Do whatever feels suitable!