Reception child help!

[Cowboycasanova]

Hello,

My daughter started reception in September.
She absolutely loved it when she started and happily went in each day until Christmas with no issues. Made some friends and seemed very settled.

However, since January we have been really struggling.
It began with her being extremely angry and upset after school. We thought she was just tired, spoke to teacher who said there were no issues.
She has two teachers and we spoke to the second one a few days later, who told me she had been very angry at school and was pushed by another child. Fine, these things happen.

However, she began getting very upset before school and refusing to go completely. She told me she didn't want to be hit anymore (another child had been hurting her apparantly).
Spoke to teacher who ensured she would be kept safe.
She went in for about a week but then began refusing to go again, getting upset and I cannot get her in now at all.
She told me yesterday her friends are naughty to her, they push her, they run away. She wants to be with her family. She wants to go to a new school.

I've also heard other issues from other parents about children being called names by older children, being locked in a toilet, having a toilet opened when they're on it.
This is my eldest child so I've no experience of what school is like but it all seems really worrying to me. I get the feeling there is a lack of care and these little ones aren't being watched properly.

All of this is making it really hard for me to know what to do. I don't feel I trust the school anymore.

What would you do? Do I speak to school again? Look at different schools?
I don't even know how to get her to go.
She's always been so bright and sociable and not clingy with me so this is just not like her at all. I don't want to force her to go somewhere where I don't even trust the grownups to keep her safe.

I just don't know what to do.

She's 5 in May
Yes maybe, I'm just concerned that she is saying the other children are still being horrible after I've already spoken to the teacher. And of course all the other stories aswell makes me feel uneasy.
Do you think she could be just making it up then because she doesn't fancy going anymore?
How do I even get her to go? I've tried bribes ect but they don't work!

Hi OP

I don’t think she’s making it up.

Are older children on break at the same time as Reception? They could be coming and messing about in the toilets. An adult needs to be on duty there if that’s the case. Or, are children allowed to “take themselves “ during class time? Either way, I would want to find out how/why?

Being hit by the same child is something the teachers should have noticed and presumably, she told them who it was anyway. Are they on the same table? Can your DD and this child not be doing any class activities together. Or is the child one of the type with poor attention, roaming the room and being a pain? Might be worth checking.

She might not see them as natural friends, but are there other kids she can pal up with.

Think this needs a sit down with Senior Leadership. She can’t cope with what’s going on, and they have a duty of care to protect her.

Either that, or move her.

Speak to the teachers. Maybe they can help with friendships.

Young children will say others are being mean about all sorts of things, they keep looking at me, they won't let me play, and so on. A lot of time it is about developing their social skills, the ones who say children won't let them play is often more the case of they only want to play a certain game and when others don't want to play they then get upset and say they aren't allowed to play.

Saying older children are hitting, when is this happening and when do they mix the year groups? Our reception children do not mix with any other year group at social times and have a separate playground. Same with toilets, they cannot get through to the rest of the school and there is stair gates keeping them in their area.

I also think with reception children the novelty of school has now run out. The first term is exciting but now they realise it's everyday, it is less fun.
Even my own child who is nearing the end of primary school has wobbly times where they don't want to go and I have to take them in to the teacher with no real reason. This usually happens after a school holiday or when we have had a fun weekend, so think it's simply a case of they would rather be home.

Thanks for your reply.

She says it's children in her class hitting her but hasn't said where it's happening.
I know they share the playground with year one and two aswell though. And I don't feel they should be going and using the toilets alone when there are older children there aswell. Seems like anything could happen and no one would know or be around to help.
This wasnt my child though so not sure if I can mention it. It could have been though so I worry.

Yes this makes sense. Its just that she keeps saying it and all the other incidents aswell. I don't feel completely happy leaving her there.
I'll speak to the teachers again.