Best friends children bullying my son

[AmeliaRuby]

I had two best friends that also had sons and our 3 boys went to the same primary school together. Same classroom and were inseparable. My son always had difficulties with a pupil in his class bullying him throughout primary school (he bullied everyone but seemed to target my son more for some reason). This pupil was allowed to have extra privileges due to his bad behaviour problems and was given a football to play with during lunchtime breaks ( mine and my friends sons love football).

All of a sudden my sons friends started to play with this boy because he had a football and would leave my son out. It then escalated where they all started ganging up on him and bullying him. I spoke to my friends but they didn’t seem to care at all. I appreciate you can’t make kids play together but seems as we’re all so close I would have thought they’d at least tell them not to hurt my son and call him awful names. My son became a shell of himself. They ostracised him from almost everyone in the class. Kids were afraid to be my sons friend as they didn’t want to be targeted by this gang of boys who would verbally and physically attack my son.

am I being unreasonable?

Children can be so unkind, it's heartbreaking. I would talk with the school and ask if they can monitor what's going on, intervening if necessary. Is your son in secondary school now?
Relationships do change between children throughout their time at school, but that doesn't mean that bullying and ostrasizing is acceptable. If such situations aren't dealt with, it can cause huge self esteem, confidence and mental health issue.
Is your son able to widen his social circle outside of school? This may help his confidence to grow and give him the skills to 'deal' with people like this as well as mix with other pupils from the school who he might not have met with before.
I would also lessen contact with the mums of these boys, they are certainly not behaving like friends do. Even if their children want to be with others, bullying is bullying and should be addressed by them.
My daughter experienced similar whilst at school and her confidence was shot when she finished school. She was diagnosed as having ASD in Y13. Having a gap year is helping to rebuild her confidence and it is wonderful to see her blossoming.

So i take it you've ditched these people?

You should be shaming them to everyone that will listen

I know it's isn't easy but you've got concrete evidence of them bullying him in your child's word

I'd me messaging them telling them how ashamed you are to have called them friends and go to the school tomorrow

Don't delay op, fuck these women

Awful people 😞

Best wishes to your son. I'm worried about my dd being picked on but she's non verbal, so know it isn't nice

They're not your friends and never were. Ditch and shame and stand alone and proud at the school gates. Best of luck

@mumofoneAlonebutokay
Yes they’ve been ditched!
I told them I can’t be friends with them when they’re allowing their children to bully mine. It got so bad that I’ve put my son in a totally different feeder school so he can have a fresh start. The school didn’t help much as they didn’t really know what to do…

I just always questioned whether I was in the wrong and whether I shouldn’t have shut down our friendships. I know they can’t support my son over their own but I just wanted them to acknowledge it and just tell their kids to leave him alone. I know I would of been mortified if my son had been bullying theirs and I wouldn’t of allowed it x

@SailingWithNineLives
this is what we’ve done, encouraged lots of friendships outside of school but it’s hard as all the kids in his class live in our village and he sees them out playing but they tell him they can’t play with him or they’ll be bullied 😞

it’s been incredibly tough 😔

that’s amazing your daughter is going from strength to strength ❤️
I hope she continues to do well x

🙌🙌🙌🙌🙌 you've done right by your son

Completely understand, I'd be the same would hate if dd bullied someone

Have they tried reaching out and apologising since? They weren't real friends and you're better off girl x