More of a WWYD, kids party

[Aria999]

I need advice.

DD has her 5th birthday party coming up. I invited the whole class, DD brother, a friend from another class and 2 other friends not at the school.

We have a limit of 20 for the venue and 21 invites have been issued. This was my mistake, there were 2 kids in the classroom who were not on the original list I was using and I didn't want to leave them out so I added them on but I had already invited the other friends f

I thought realistically we would have at least one person who said No but so far we have 17 confirmed and no one who says they can't come.

Assuming everyone accepts:

Do I (a) say really sorry we are full to 1 person in the classroom who responds last, meaning 1 child is left out

(b) apologise to one other friend who is not at the school who has already said yes, and uninvite them, possibly making them feel we don't value their friendship

... something else?

It is more complicated by the fact that another mum in the class asked if we could make it a joint party with her child after I issued the invites and before I realized the mistake, and I agreed.

C) hope a few people don't turn up on the day
D) tell your own child they can't go
E) get a new venue

I assume the venue can’t add one more child?

could you plan something else with the friend from another school? A special day out instead?

Can someone else look after DD brother?

DD brother is really looking forward to going and I don't want to leave him out. It's a gymnastics venue.

Can you ask to add on another child?

The person who is making it a joint party, are they inviting anyone extra? You might want to check if you are inviting friends from outside school if they have done the same meaning you will be well over the number.

Uninvite the non school friend.
its awkward but less awkward than being that mum who didn’t invite poor little Tommy from the class.

the non school friend will not know many people and your five year old won’t be socially savvy enough to actively include them or introduce them in any little groups etc.

instead invite non school formed for a special birthday tea and play .

a kind mum friend will understand the faux pas and not be offended

If I was you I’d set up a WhatsApp and tell the other mums what’s happened! Ask if there’s anyone who might not ultimately want to come whilst you’re trying to figure out what the heck to do.

I think most mums end up in this panic at some point. Don’t worry! You will get huge sympathy.

There is practically no chance at least one child won't pull out or not turn up. I don't think I've ever thrown a party when there wasn't 'guest movement' right up to the last minute!

And you have your own child's sibling to play with in the very unlikely event everyone turns up. He may have to sit out.

Well I thought they couldn't as they were quite emphatic about the 20 when I booked it, but I just called them and she said in the unlikely event everyone shows up they will squeeze in the extra one.

Phew!

Thank you all!

You'd prefer to uninvite another child? Fair enough if they don't know, but surely by now they know about the party and are expecting to attend. I can't imagine dis-inviting a child who plans to attend, in favour of your own child (a sibling and not the birthday child), when the mistake was yours.

I would send my other child off for a special day with Dh and make it up to them with some gymnastics another time. That’s only if it really comes down to it being all 21 and there is no way to add an extra child. It would be really rude to uninvite someone when you have another solution.

That is good news.

This! I'd be quite tempted to just do nothing and hope it all works out.

They won't all turn up.