To refuse to fill in the form

[Helpmesenmum]

Just want to start off with, that I'm a full time carer for our oldest DC, But DH works 40 hours or more a week on minimum wage and we do claim universal credit as a top up (more for help with our rent) and I'm sorry for the long post

Youngest 2 DC go to the same high school and last week they sent a message out saying they were sending every pupil home with the free school meal form. In the message they said that everyone HAD to fill the form in and that there's a deadline for completion (5th of February), I know for a fact that we are not entitled for free school meals because DH earns way over the threshold.

Since the form has been sent home, we have several messages ( at least 2 a day) from the school, either in the app, emails or text messages, reminding us that the form has to be completed and handed in on time. Now normally I always fill in any forms sent home but I don't see why I should with this one, especially as I know we won't be entitled and to me it's a complete waste of resources.

The main reason I'm so annoyed at this is because I have been fighting for support for youngest DC as they have a dyslexia diagnosis and are on the pathway to be diagnosed with ASD and ADHD, so far the school has been an absolute nightmare to deal with, they have taken them off the sen register at school but won't explain their decision on why. I have written several emails to sen manger to ask for a meeting to discuss their reason (DC is at least 3 years behind in spelling and around 2 years behind in writing skills)
But they haven't replied to a single one and when I ring the school to ask to speak to her, there's always an excuse and that they will ring me back but never do.
Now before Christmas I emailed the head to put in a informal complaint as I was fed up with being ignored and completely dismissed when I tried to raise concerns, but I'm still yet to hear anything back, even tho in their own complaints procedure says i should have received a reply within 5 days and meeting in 10 (it's been 6 weeks) I've sent a follow up email asking for a solution and still nothing.

That brings me today, the school rang to see of i needed help filling in the form as it's not been handed back in yet, I told them I'm not filling it in, we aren't entitled to free school meals and I don't see the point in wasting everyone's time plus if they are refusing to meet me half way regarding my DC sen needs why should I meet them half with the form. They said they won't be discussing the sen matter but the form had to be filled in by Wednesday, then hung up.

Aibu not filling in the form, it will probably take me 10 minutes to do, but it would also take them 10 minutes to acknowledge my emails and send a reply. I'm fed up with being ignored, unless it suits their needs

You've picked the wrong hill to die on here.

FSM brings in funding through Pupil Premium (as well as its main aim if feeding the relevant kids). My school gets £100k from that source and that's not even that high.

SEN costs money.

Do you see the difference?

However, regarding SEN, I suggest you make a parental request for EHCNA to the local authority. Don't hang on waiting for the school.

To answer some questions.
We are currently starting the right to choose with regards to DC diagnosis for Asd and adhd because the current waiting list is 5 to 6 years.
We have got all the paperwork to start a echp application and will be soon

And I'm not picking this hill to die on out of spite, they can spare a senior teacher to ring around about forms that they are insisting are extremely important but I can't get a reply or phone call back from anyone. If I hadn't mentioned DC dyslexia in a of hand remark during their settling in evening, it still wouldn't be on the school system as the sendco hadn't put it on the system, nor had they put the asd or adhd so not a single teacher was aware that DC was struggling. It's just a constant battle and all I want is some support, I'm not asking for the world, literally just a reply within a reasonable time frame so we can discuss how DC can be supported

Thanks for the tag @HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend.

Try not to conflate the two issues. They are separate and should be dealt with separately.

If you are certain you don’t qualify for FSM, don’t complete the form. It is quite common for some DC who are eligible for FSM to not be in receipt of them, which is probably why the school has sent the forms out.

The lack of SEN support and ignoring you is a separate matter. The school must make their best endeavours to meet DS’s SEN and they must make reasonable adjustments. If the HT has ignored your complaint, have you complained to the Chair of Governors/the proprietor (depending on the type of school)?

If you have the email addresses for DC’s individual teachers, email them directly. If you don't have their email addresses and you can’t guess them, you could write them a note for DC to hand them.

You can use IPSEA’s model letter to request an EHCNA ASAP. You don’t need to use the LA’s form.

Schools don't have family income on children's records, unless there is a very particular reason to do so. Neither do councils. The SCHOOL don't gain anything from you filling in the form, if you aren't entitled to FSM other than CHECKING WHETHER YOUR CHILD IS BEING FED. Other than the little bit of hassle from following you up, the school loose nothing from you not doing so. So in terms of not doing X because the school aren't doing Y, that's fine, but be aware that your games aren't a problem really for the school.

The FSM issue is separate. The council don't auto flag those entitled unless they've previously claimed. Once a person has claimed FSM they then qualify for PP funding for 6 years under ever 6 rules (bar some minor exceptions). It's worth school making sure you aren't entitled.

The SEN stuff you need to deal with along the route you're already on. SEN in school is very underfunded. Parents expect the world and staff just can't provide it.

OP, are you sure this is the right school to instil confidence to you as a parent and support your children?

If it's not, then move them to a school that will

Unfortunately, though it feels to you like the two things are connected, they're not. The person tasked with doing the admin for these forms won't be the same person who handles SEN needs, so it won't matter if you refuse to sign the form or send it back, the person ringing you won't be the same person who is supposed to be answering your emails. I have to collect paperwork from schools for a specific thing. In one school alone I can end up speaking to 4 different people who will be responsible for different parts of the final set of paperwork. None of these people are involved with the process needed for children with SEN, yet they would be involved in updating paperwork for free school meals, pupil premium, transport etc.
You need to follow the 'process' for each thing separately, as others have suggested, by raising a complaint, requesting an EHCNA and following the process required.