Surely it’s not unreasonable to tell her No!

[madonninamia]

I’ve been struggling financially for a couple of years now. I count the pennies, haven’t been on holiday for 5 years and even though I make ends meet it’s down to the sacrifices I have to make.
I have a business making affordable products (don’t want to specify what they are as could be outing and I’ve already name changed). My mother knows of my struggles, she is very comfortably off. She has seen a product I’m selling (it’s not overpriced as I’ve had to lower my prices due to the CL) she can easily afford it. She wants to buy it but has asked for a discount. This has really upset me as she knows the work I put into making these products and knows my business has taken a massive hit these last years and even though over the years I’ve given her stuff for free I just feel that maybe this time she could just stretch herself and pay the full price for once. Am I being unreasonable in saying no to the discount?

Of course not, just say you can't do friends and family rates as they're already priced competitively.

If it costs £100 and she's hoping for £80 could you tell her it's £120 and charge her £100??
You're not wrong though

Not unreasonable at all. I once convinced work to hire my sister and her thing for a work event and got mates rates. But quite reasonably when they wanted her back, she charged full price, and also got hired by a colleague later on with no input from me. So it benefited her the first time to get further work. But if that's not the issue, then no, she doesn't get a cheap rate

I don’t want to be too specific as this post could already be pretty outing but we’re talking affordable, especially for her. And my profit margins are already small. She knows the price as it’s on my website.
I just feel that this once she could take my financial situation into account and just buy it at full price.

@Aviddreamers I started my business with absolutely no financial help from her or anyone else for that matter!

No, just tell her you don't do friends and family rates because you're cutting it so fine as it is.

Hard no then. She wants it, she pays for it.

It's fine for her (or indeed any other unrelated customer) to ask for a discount.
It's equally fine for you to say no. For any reason, or no reason.

Really not worth getting upset about.

My husband has this quite often and he’s had to start saying no as otherwise it’s almost like working for free once you take into account materials and I can’t imagine many people would do that

@RedSkyDelights It is upsetting because she knows I’m struggling moneywise and what ever she saves by getting her discount means I lose out of much needed funds. You’d think she’d be sensitive enough to realise this and not ask, especially as she’d quite happily buy herself a new pair of shoes from Russell & Bromley and I’m sure she doesn’t go round asking them for discounts (when not in the sales obvs 😂).

I can see why you are upset OP. I wouldn't dream of asking if I was her. Please say no.

I need to have professional photos taken. My friend is a photographer. I'm going to give her an extra €50 for "mates rates". It's appalling to devalue the work of people we are supposed to care about.

I never expect a friend or family member to give me a discounted rate. I'll accept if they offer, but I'd never ask. YANBU.

Just tell her you can't afford to give discounts at present and you'll let her know when you're not struggling for money and she can have it then.

Explain that you are struggling and at the moment can’t discount your products. She’s your mum and should understand.

An age old saying - friends and family rates don’t exist because REAL friends or family will pay you fairly for your work, not beg for cheap deals.

If she wants it she can pay your asking price. I say this as a small time artist who relies on commissions and website sales.

Definitely tell her No, explain you're already struggling for money, let her know. she's got a cheek as shes in effect, taking money from you.

She's probably asking if you have given her discounts before.
Just say No and dont fell bad about it.

She may just not have connected the dots. I know it sounds ridiculous that “If I pay less, DD gets less.” wouldn’t be obvious to her, but many people have the idea of a friends and family discount so indoctrinated into them that they don’t really make that connection if it isn’t explicitly said. We all hold contradictory idea that we don’t even recognize and sometimes they cause us to inadvertently do things that we wouldn’t want to if we saw through our assumptions.

You know her, we don’t. So your feelings about it may be on the mark. If she’s uncaring in general about you struggling, if she frequently suggests you just aren’t trying hard enough or you must be spending all your money on fancy lattes and avocado toast or whatever other lazy stereotype is currently circulating, then your emotional response to it may be fair. But if she isn’t like that generally, I would try to recognise the feeling as being mainly about the fact you’re struggling for money (which is stressful and can be emotionally draining all on its own), and that the request is probably not about how your DM thinks about you.

Just tell her no for all the reasons you’ve stated or she can buy it elsewhere. She’s either naive (?) or unaware, to give her the benefit of the doubt.

I sometimes think that people get confused. They buy something that's discretionary from you (I have a creative job, too) and because it's something they don't regard as an essential, they kind of get muddled and extend the idea of the goods or services being discretionary to you, too. So it's not really 'real' money for you and you can afford to drop prices, work for free, etc.

Whilst I take the point about joining the dots on small margins and mates rates, I have found some people just want the thrill of a 'bargain' and they don't care how they achieve it.

Say no, defend your business!

Does your mother genuinely want your product? Would she buy it if someone else had made it? I am wondering if she thinks she is doing you a favour by buying it, even if it comes with a discount.