The Be kind message that’s always trotted out on here

[Foreverbold]

is usually only one sided.

Op needs to bend over backwards to help out her husband’s ex who is struggling alone with a baby.
The Op who has nosey neighbours that never gives her a seconds peace in her back garden. She always has to be friendly and chat every single time. Be kind they’re probably lonely and have no one else.
Op tries to enjoy social events but gets roped into babysitting because she’s a mother and it’s mean spirited for her to enjoy herself while others with young kids are struggling.

Bet those that need the help now weren’t there for the posters!

Some situations just need to be walked away from. Then there is the really difficult stuff when its not the situation it’s the person. Their behaviour remains the same and if it’s someone who is a relative, neighbour or colleague and it’s hard to not be near them it’s dire.

I do not want to be kind to someone I consider obnoxious.

Be kind is something that women get told isn't it, with a view to shutting them up and stopping them saying what they actually think.
Men don't get told to be kind, they can say whatever they like.
That's why I'm against the BeKind movement.

A lot of the posters on here are just contrary and want to criticise or disagree with the OP. It’s why people sometimes do a reverse. It has nothing to do with telling anyone to be kind.

I have always hated the "Be Kind" mantra. Its ALWAYS aimed at women and should actually be "Be a doormat and dont fucking complain about it"

Woman asks - "My MIL is ill and needs a lot of help and care, my DH and his siblings think i should do it even though i work full time and have small kids"

General Consensus - You need to think how your MIL is feeling and help her out the best you can and as much as you can, you need to Be Kind OP.

Man asks - "My FIL is ill and needs a lot of help and care, my wife is asking if i can help with his care despite me working full time"

General Consensus - Your FIL is your wifes family and you need to put your foot down that you are working and cant help. She will need to sort it herself.

Yeah, I agree the sentiment OP describes does exist, but I'd say explicit use of Be Kind tends to get squashed. So people go round the houses a bit more instead.

Be kind is the last retort of the unreasonable IME -when OP has had their arse handed to them for being outrageously unreasonable, it's a guaranteed bingo card that she will then retort "be kind" !

It's ironic because there are some very mean people here

There was a good one a couple of years back when an OP was told she should just give her property to her tenant. As a gift. Because landlords are bad and she should be kind.

Yes, there is very little acknowledgement from some (who want to virtue signal) that what is kind to one person is unkind to another, and it really annoys me!

Then, there are the posters who are downright mean and unreasonable, hate having it pointed out, and then trot out BE KIND to try and shut people up. Also infuriating!

You see I often get the opposite vibe here and in life in general- the message is usually "Be selfish! Do what you want!" . It gets me down sometimes.
It's very important not to be a door mat, to be assertive, and to have boundaries. However, I don't think it's particularly good to always be selfish. Sometimes you do have to put yourself out for others. I do things I'd rather not because I know they mean a lot to people. Yes, I often put myself first but certainly not always.

Wouldn't the better solution to be to tell men to be kind? Rather than encourage women not to be kind?

I'm all for good personal boundaries but it can't be denied that the kind of MNers to are vocally anti-Be Kind aren't doing so in a feminist spirit, they're doing so because they're judgmental misanthropes.

Men who want to say something and were told to be kind would just tell people to fuck off. More women should do that.

Also on MN when a woman says something negative it's not only the BeKind crew who jump on them, it's the " you're being judgemental" lot that pile on too. They seem to think that being called judgemental is going to suddenly stop anyone saying what they think. It's just another version of BeKind but with an added layer of criticism.

That always makes me laugh because everyone makes judgements, even the outwardly virtue signalling lot, who are so up their own arses they seemingly don't realise that by criticising someone for being judgemental they are in themselves being judgemental.

I've been called judgemental on here for expressing opinions that didn't go along with the majority. Luckily it's water off a duck's back to me because I'm not fazed by the opinion of a bunch of strangers on an internet forum, I'm very happy with how I am and I know I'm much more intelligent and aware than the people who judge me as judgemental. Clearly plenty of people agree with me because of the number of agrees and thanks I get.

Wouldn't the better solution to be to tell men to be kind? Rather than encourage women not to be kind?

Good luck with that.

Be kind is middle class for STFU.