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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To find this micromanaging frustrating

72 replies

Lemonstolemonade1 · 03/02/2025 08:25

I had 3 days of annual leave last week which was booked and approved a couple of months ago.
I've just requested a day off next week, it's within my annual leave entitlement and and it's not on a day there's an important meeting (which there seem to be many)

Anyway my manager has emailed saying she's concerned I'm taking another day off next week as I had 3 days off last week. Im taking my cat to the vets because they're closed evenings and weekends, that's why I'm booking a day off.

It's none of their business tbh, as long as we're not exceeding our leave entitlement it shouldn't matter. If that day isn't available, fine, I'll take another day. But I'm entitled to use my annual leave however I see fit, I thought the Civil Service was supposed to be very flexible. What should I do?

OP posts:
myotherusernamesarebetter · 03/02/2025 08:28

Are you reading a tone that’s not there?

The civil service is flexible! But it’s not remotely unreasonable for your manager to check you’re ok if you’re taking a lot of holiday in a short space of time - they’re probably wanting to check if there’s something going on that means you either need support at work or might qualify for special leave.

No need to be prickly and fly off the handle.

Nationsss · 03/02/2025 08:29

Ask her to explain her concern and point you to the policy she is basing this upon.

myotherusernamesarebetter · 03/02/2025 08:29

As for what you should do, I’d tell her everything is fine at work and you just need the day to do something personal. Not sure why you wouldn’t just tell the truth though, especially as it presumably won’t take all day and they might let you use flexi for it.

myotherusernamesarebetter · 03/02/2025 08:29

Nationsss · 03/02/2025 08:29

Ask her to explain her concern and point you to the policy she is basing this upon.

That’s a pretty strong reaction to someone expressing a perfectly reasonable amount of concern for an employee. It doesn’t sound like they’ve refused it, they’ve just checked in.

Raindropskeepfallinonmyhead · 03/02/2025 08:30

I would just tell her why x

Original poster
Lemonstolemonade1 · 03/02/2025 08:30

I didn't have this in my previous CS role, it's only 1 day 2 weeks later, it's not like I'm using my entire allowance at once. It's the kind of stuff that makes me wish I could be SE haha

OP posts:
Original poster
Lemonstolemonade1 · 03/02/2025 08:31

I haven't yet built up enough flexi but they might let me make it back up. However we've been told we shouldn't be using much flexi for our first year..

OP posts:
PuppyMonkey · 03/02/2025 08:33

It's the kind of stuff that makes me wish I could be SE haha

Well, yes it would be much simpler then as you wouldn’t be entitled to any paid holiday leave at all.Wink

pavillion1 · 03/02/2025 08:34

they’re probably wanting to check if there’s something going on that means you either need support at work or might qualify for special leave.

Absolute rubbish

Original poster
Lemonstolemonade1 · 03/02/2025 08:37

PuppyMonkey · 03/02/2025 08:33

It's the kind of stuff that makes me wish I could be SE haha

Well, yes it would be much simpler then as you wouldn’t be entitled to any paid holiday leave at all.Wink

Yes I know, and have been SE before but tbh it was worth it to avoid all of this.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lemonstolemonade1 · 03/02/2025 08:38

Now I'm wondering what's a 'reasonable' time frame in which to use your AL. Am I supposed to wait a month before taking a day off? Should the 25 days be spread out very evenly across the holiday year?

OP posts:
Yawningisinfectious · 03/02/2025 08:38

I've not worked for the Civil Service for many many years but I do remember when I did they weren't keen on people taking annual leave as single days here and there. They preferred it taken in blocks.

saveforthat · 03/02/2025 08:40

What is SE?

Original poster
Lemonstolemonade1 · 03/02/2025 08:40

saveforthat · 03/02/2025 08:40

What is SE?

Self employed

OP posts:
Original poster
Lemonstolemonade1 · 03/02/2025 08:40

Yawningisinfectious · 03/02/2025 08:38

I've not worked for the Civil Service for many many years but I do remember when I did they weren't keen on people taking annual leave as single days here and there. They preferred it taken in blocks.

That's interesting, not sure why they're bothered about that?

OP posts:
DownThePubWithStevieNicks · 03/02/2025 08:42

Lemonstolemonade1 · 03/02/2025 08:38

Now I'm wondering what's a 'reasonable' time frame in which to use your AL. Am I supposed to wait a month before taking a day off? Should the 25 days be spread out very evenly across the holiday year?

For both business planning and personal wellbeing, yes. It’s not at all uncommon for people who use up their leave early to then have sick leave later in year, or suddenly be unnecessarily logged on 10 hours a day to build up flexi for October half term and Christmas.

towelsandsheets · 03/02/2025 08:43

It's better for your health to take one or two week breaks rather than lots of odd days and ( especially in finance roles ) it's when misdemeanours tend to be uncovered by whoever takes over responsibilities

NotbloodyGivingupYet · 03/02/2025 08:43

If you've only been there a few months and already taking holiday maybe she's just concerned as she says. Maybe she's overstepping. Just tell her you have to take the cat to the vet!

minipie · 03/02/2025 08:46

Did you only recently start this role? It sounds like it? If so, it would be unusual for someone to take AL twice so soon into a new role.

So she might genuinely be concerned that you are not coping with the job and/or are going to keep wanting to take leave every couple of weeks.

If you just explain that this won’t be usual, it’s just that a couple of things have come up close together, I expect she will back off.

Original poster
Lemonstolemonade1 · 03/02/2025 08:49

Lots of people took a fortnight over Christmas, but I didn't as didn't feel I needed it. I only took Xmas eve, took 3 days in Jan and now a day next week. So in 3 months I've used 5 days.

OP posts:
Original poster
Lemonstolemonade1 · 03/02/2025 08:50

In my old CS job people were entitled to book a day's leave for the next day if available, just because they fancied it. I don't see any issue with it and dislike this policing of leave. I've used 4 days in 3 months.

OP posts:
Rainingalldayonmyhead · 03/02/2025 08:52

OP this isn’t micromanaging at all. This is a manager who is concerned and asking after you.

Maybe don’t think the worst and as it’s a non issue just tell them. They may even say you don’t have to take it as leave!

Rosesarere · 03/02/2025 08:54

Is your leave earnt on a month by month basis? So if you have 30 days of leave a year it would amount to 2.5 days a month, by the end of Feb you would only of worked enough of the year to be entitled to 5 days

Ponoka7 · 03/02/2025 08:55

So it's out of the question that she is wondering if you have been put on a cancer pathway etc and is sensitively trying to ask?

EnterFunnyNameHere · 03/02/2025 08:55

Unless there's a lot more in the email from your manager, I think you're wildly overreacting. If i booked this leave pattern I wouldn't be at all surprised if my manager checked in on me. In fact, once in similar circumstances my manager at the time did check in because he wanted to make sure i knew if it was illness-related I needn't use my leave to cover it, as he didn't want me depriving myself of actual holidays if I was struggling.

I guess one person's micromanaging is another caring management..