Recent study of children joining reception class

[Liveandletlive18]

A recent study by kindred2 of a 1000 teachers resulted in finding a quarter of children today joined reception class when still in nappies. Many children are unable to climb a staircase or sit properly on the floor due to lack of exercise & muscle tone. The children used expressions more common in America such as trash & vacation due to excessive screen time. Teachers stated covid is no longer an excuse. They say a lot of this is due to busy parents working & having less time to interact with children & teach them basic skills. Is this a worrying trend.

I still cant understand how some of the 4 year olds couldnt climb a flight of stairs! Do they all have a ground flat,or live in Bungalows? I think it seems a shame because it has become a kind of "blame the parent" game ,when things like "Sure Start" have mainly gone by the wayside.Disposable nappies are also very easy to use .Terry nappies and all the washing would soon make people try to potty train!

There will be massive variation here. In lots of schools there might only be 1-2 children with this level of need but by the law of averages some must have more than the 25% quoted.

I think there will be multiple causes:

1. increasing SEN but also increasingly inability to get any help or support. There are clearly kids starting mainstream education that can’t cope and shouldn’t be there. It seems like the whole system is based on allowing kids to fail before doing anything to help. We’ve got to y4 with kids who can’t cope in mainstream still not having ECHPs. This is not lazy parenting- it’s a failed system that is causing harm to kids, teachers and society.

2. An element of permissive parenting and I think I’ve seen lower standards of expectations for boys in particular. Whether it is nature or nurture- I think girls are often held to a higher standard of behaviour in the 4-6 year old age group.

3. screens as a babysitter. I do believe there are too many people trying to wfh with small children. I did it during Covid and it was shit. I think you are either semi neglecting your kids or doing a rubbish job at work. I still don’t think you can do both well. Of course I still do the odd day for sickness etc but I am under no illusions that to get any work done, my kids are watching a lot of tv. The odd day I can live with. I think if that is the norm, it is problematic especially for the under 5s.

The wonderful nappies in much bigger sizes we can buy now don't help. I found this with my youngest DC who didn't have that feeling of feeling wet and uncomfortable.
Eldest DC was just at the tail end of cloth nappies plus wasn't allowed to start playgroup at three without being "clean and dry". He hated the damp soggy nappy dragging down so we were both keen on the toilet training.
Youngest DC was in in disposables and by that time the nurseries were happy to take children in nappies so there wasn't that urgency. I managed to find some really cheap and nasty nappies and didn't take long perhaps just the one or two packs.
I have friends who are reception teachers - some have none in nappies others have a few - they think it depends on the catchment area and the type of parents the children have

I doubt it.

What a nasty comment. You sound really bitter for some reason. I don’t know anyone with a child in nursery for 12 hours. Where I live nurseries wouldn’t be open for 12 hours anyway.

I'm surprised to see full time working parents being blamed. Children learn a lot of skills at nursery (particularly from age 2.5 and up; I know views before that are mixed). Our kids nurseries were great for supporting them toilet train, learn to use cutlery, share, wait their turn, develop fine motor skills by using play dough and hama beads etc. They even led the charge on getting youngest to give up her dummy which I was so grateful for.

If course we would have taught them all those things at home but I think it would have taken longer and I would have shied away from the messy play stuff and given in more often when exasperated.

Unpopular view perhaps but I've noticed a more child-led approach to parenting in later years, allowed to "express themselves" by doing what they want - not sitting at the table if they don't want, not going for a walk if they don't want etc. A lot of kids will choose to stare at a screen if that's an option, mine included.

I doubt it’s a thing anymore but when I started working we had a ‘Time and motion’ officer who would literally come to our workplace and monitor exactly what we were all doing minute by minute.

People don’t always know where time gets eaten up. Screens are the issue, when drinking morning tea and looking at forums and news articles time flies without noticing. So parents and children look at screens, it’s to the detriment of us all as a society. I am doing it right now instead of communicating with DH sat right next to me. Difference is I have done my growing up and it’s not moulding an immature brain.

The child who couldn’t climb the stairs could have had additional needs, some kind of low muscle tone, or have experienced some form of neglect for example. It was one child, it tells you nothing.

It's clear from the posts on here that the lack of teaching children to be school ready can happen across any social "status". Anyone can be a decent parent and anyone can by a lazy or neglectful parent.

I used to be a governor of a primary school in an area of significant poverty and a high population of ethnic minorities.

There was a true mix there from the kids whose families had practically taught their children the entirety of the first year curriculum before they started, to those that brought their kids to school in nappies, not even knowing their own name, because "it's a school's job to teach these things".

There was the kid that brought an entire multipack of 6 bags of Skips for his lunch because his Mum didn't have time to do anything else and the kid that came with bento boxes with their sandwiches cut into dinosaur shapes.

Then there were the families who felt terrible asking for time off for their child to attend their grandparent's funeral but at the opposite end there were the parents who'd say to the teacher (in October) - DS won't be in after tomorrow - we're going back to [home country] until December so he'll be back in January.

I don't know what the answer is unfortunately. I know schools do issue an expectations list for incoming parents to set out what the children are expected to be able to do on their first day, but the parents that haven't taught the children this in the first place also likely know full well that they're not going to send them away again on the first day.

Also tons of kids now were born prematurely and would have died at one time but may grow up with additional needs. People are having kids older which comes with a high likelihood of additional needs.

We need nurseries and schools to have the time and resources to be attuned to individuals, not a one size fits all system which fails at least 20% of children.

Perhaps if layers of executives in academy trusts were not routinely earning more than the Prime Minister, hoovering up all the public money which could be spent on improving the education system, it would not be in such a parlous state.

It's very sad and there's obviously many factors at play.

I can't imagine lazy parenting is a new thing. I would imagine lazy parents of the past just left their kids to entertain themselves / play out in the street / left in the care of neighbours of family members.

While this probably brought about its own issues (kids being in dangerous situations, becoming involved in gangs, antisocial behaviour, crime), they probably got a lot more exercise and little exposure to tv / Americanisms etc.

I work full time and have young kids. They have both been at nursery 3 days per week, plus a day each wirh me / DP as we both work shifts. Nursery has been good for them, and we try our best to be good parents...but it is hard. Modern life is just hard. Working and raising kids is very difficult.

I feel lucky that we both have decent (if demanding) jobs, and the money to pay for nursery and holidays and days out etc.

I do have sympathy for a lot of those parents who feel trapped by poverty and unable to see a way out and have the means to provide a better life for their kids. I'm sure most of them don't set out to be bad parents / neglect their kids.

As usual, this has descended into a SAHM vs working parent battle. Ultimately, we are failing our children and that's what needs to be addressed.

Children are unable to focus, are not toilet trained, cannot communicate, have loose/no boundaries, are entitled, and are leaving school unable to read properly.

This isn't even a class issue, as you meet these children across all sections of society. Given the percentages as well, it's clear that these children are not all from poor households.

Last week there was a survey where apparently 44% of parents think it's the school's job to teach children to read. Well, if Little Angus is borderline illiterate, it becomes my priority to fix that with the school.

27% are below literacy rates. 25% are not potty trained, 30% cannot communicate their needs to a teacher. Bar health issues that require external intervention, what are we doing to address these very basic things?

Yes, this. I hate articles like this because they just focus on statistics which we know are often bullshit and don't take in to consideration specific factors. It would be interesting to see where this research was and how it was carried out.
I think these articles just serve as another stick with which to beat Mother's with, especially working mothers who are often accused of neglecting their children by working.

What a horrible judgemental, and seeming envious little post.

A considerable percentage of people will live in a flat nowadays. What’s so unheard of about not having stairs at home??

I live in a GF flat and the nursery my children attend is all one level, while they can physically climb stairs they definitely haven’t got much practice.

And have you seen some of the abuse on here about parents who dare to let their child walk up stairs on their own in public and how much of an awful inconvenience it is to other people?

Exactly. I don't really like the phrase, but 'damned if you do, damned if you don't' springs to mind here. Just do your best, that's all anyone can do.

I can't imagine lazy parenting is a new thing. I would imagine lazy parents of the past just left their kids to entertain themselves / play out in the street / left in the care of neighbours of family members.

Oh definitely. Until quite recently, a looooot of the entertainment aspect of parenting was hived out to other kids in the vicinity. But parents now don't have access to that 'village'.

OP has made up or misunderstood the nappies stat. 25% are not fully potty trained. I can't see where that's defined in the report but it certainly doesn't say 25% are in nappies.

The op has also taken a lot of quotes from teachers and implied they are findings from the report rather than anecdotal comments to underline the stats.

It does make for stark reading but at no point does it ask about parents work status, social status, amount of screen time or anything else, that's all conjecture.

The stats I found most troubling was the parents information on what was necessary to start school and also whose responsibility certain tasks were.

Also is it really desirable and normal for young children to sit on a mat quietly for swathes of time? It's a skill needed in school for sure if you've got a class of 30.
In a Bev Bos style environment it becomes less necessary.

If my kids were watching TV they were never ever still. They'd be playing with bricks or drawing at the same time and constantly changing positions, or might be dangling upside down from the sofa, or getting the cushions and blankets to make a fort.
I guess personal devices are much more conducive to sitting still and focusing on only that, in comparison to TV.

I agree with this....Yesterday I was watching instagram for deco inspiration, there is this lady with a big following - has a beautiful house, three kids, two boys and a little girl, kids rooms immaculate. Then I realised in one of here reels that kids for in boarding school! She was saying in one of her videos that the boys went back so she will do some relaxing and decorating 😑yes I am judging these people. not the ones who do it out of necessity, home life not being stable etc, but this woman is literally just taking videos of herself making tea and reading books by candle light all day.

If living in London there are MANY children with parents from different countries. My dh and I are not British and we both come from different countries. We mainly use the American terms, but sometimes British, because after living here a while you start using them. But anyway, just because people use American terms, does not mean they are learning it all from YouTube.

I mean…. My child has profound SEND and is non-verbal. If he ever manages to speak, I couldn’t give a flying fuck what accent comes out or whether his teachers judge me on it.

I don’t think a child’s accent is particularly important, as opposed to their language acquisition. If a 4 year old knows what a vacation is and is using the word appropriately then that’s much better than a child with an RP accent but a limited vocab.

Incidentally, Americans are reporting that more and more American children are speaking with a British accent thanks to Peppa Pig etc so it’s by no means an exclusive phenomenon.

The lack of toilet training is less than ideal, but with modern nappies it is much harder for children to sense the discomfort of being wet so it’s not entirely unexpected that many of them take longer to feel the need to be out of nappies, and the onus is on the parent to be more active in pushing potty training which some may not have the knowledge, or the confidence to do, and yes some may just be lazy and not have tried but potty training but that won’t be all. Let’s also not forget that children used to start school at 5 and now some of them have barely turned 4.

at the toddler group i used to take mine to, they had a set of stairs, pretty much like they use in physiotherapy,
great training for toddlers

Yes, I would agree with this.

Also, your environment and peers has a lot to do with it.

I was clueless when I had my first child, and lived 6 hours away from my family at the time.

I lived in a big city with a lot of poverty / deprivation, however I made a core group of mum friends who were particularly keen on being good mothers. In hindsight, they were perhaps a bit over the top and put a lot of pressure on themselves to be perfect, but actually they coped ok.

Anyway, that was my barometer. I soon found my own level and realised i didn't need to be doing quite as much as them (fully organic food, 100% BLW, foreign language lessons from before the kids could speak etc). However, I was certainly influenced by it, in a very positive way. And I do wonder how different my standards would have been if I had been surrounded by "lazier" mums. Probably much lower, I imagine.

I saw someone on tiktok blame COVID for the fact her child had a speech delay, but to me unless your child was going to have a speech delay anyway why would lockdown have had an effect? The main way children's language develops is by the parents talking/singing/reading/interacting with them so unless you're admitting that you didn't do that then you can't blame lockdown.

I actually remember on a mums group I was in that a mum was worrying that her 2.5 year old wasn't talking, people were asking how he responds when given an instruction like "can you find your shoes" or whatever, the mum said she didn't think she'd ever said anything like that to him or asked him to do anything. As it turned out she just wasn't interacting with her child at all. IMO this sort of parenting has a huge affect, but it wouldn't necessarily be picked up before school if the child isn't in a nursery.