To not text dead beat abusive ex when his mum is close to death

[cheekycee]

I've blocked my ex (sons dad) he's abusive and abused me even after we split he drives me to the darkest points mentally and so I decided to cut all ties and my family members arranges him seeing my son which is 2 times a week total of 8-9 hours per week and no over nights. Anyway his mum is dying. We was together 3 years and split in June. Would I be wrong to not text and give condolences that she's almost passed? I didn't meet the mother as she's in another country. However still my son's grandma. I don't wanna text because I feel I shouldn't it isn't my place anymore. I also don't want to speak to him. Ever again. I just wonder... am I morally wrong to not text?

She’s still alive - if you texted now it could be construed as something other than sympathy. Don’t text unless you are going to offer to help in some way given what he is going through. Otherwise leave it until after she passes and then just express your condolences if you feel that you would like to. Also take the lead from your child - does he know her and have a relationship with her?

No don't text him. You don't want to get sucked into communicating with him again.

Whether you text him or not has no bearing on his level of grief.

Why give him a nudge to have a go at you about something/when he's got a reason to want to hate the world/an excuse for having a go at you?

Chances are he'll want to take it out on you in any case. Don't encourage him.

No my son is 1 next week... so if I didn't text that wouldn't be a bad thing?

No, no need to contact him. Other family members will.

Not at all - keep him at arm’s length in that case.

Ok thanks guys I just needed to ask the question. I definitely won't be texting him.

dont text him now and don’t text him when she’s dead. He’s not a friend so don’t treat him like one.

Exactly

Your son is 1, your son isn't close to her, he isn't devastated by her passing, you've never met the woman, you've no "condolences" to pay. She's just a family member of a shitty ex's - and by all accounts he was a dick, so don't even go there or feel bad. People die all the time, you don't pay condolences to 99 98% of them.

I wouldn't text him. If you'd had a relationship with his mother then maybe I would but you'd never met her. You don't need to express your condolences to him if he's an abusive scumbag.

No don’t text him

concentrate on your son and the relationships he can have with a wife family group

No absolutely do not. It won't end well for you.

No. Trust your gut, don't start communicating with him again.

If you feel that you should pass your condolences to his family, send a card..

Thanks it's good literally everybody agreed. Makes me feel like I'm doing the right thing and not being "harsh".