To think that I'm abnormal to feel this way?

[feedmefudge]

I'm 50 and probably menopausal. Today I feel sad, tired, annoyed, overwhelmed, disappointed, the whole shebang!
I wonder if anyone can relate to what I am about to say.
There was a thread on here yesterday - I can't seem to find it now - along the lines of 'would you have kids if you could have your time again?' It has really made me think and I concluded that my reply was a yes AND no.
You see, my feeling on life is that some phases simply last far too long. I have teenage daughters at home and I am just ready to get my life back. I want to come home to an empty house. Does that sound awful? They are lovely and I adore them but my God, the selfishness. This leads me to feel disappointed and resentful, and I just don't like it. My 18 year old has just told me that I'm always in victim mode. Well, I really, really try not to be.
The ex husband phase: again, just too long. I can't wait for a day where I never have to clap eyes on the man again.
The work phase: actually, it's not too bad. Sometimes it even feels like a break from home! It will be a long phase out of financial necessity though, like most of us.
The pet phase: I LOVE my dog so much and he has a great life. He's nearly 10 years old now and again, I just feel over it. I'm quite looking forward to a day where I won't have to walk him, feed him, pay for the groomer and insurance, etc etc etc. I shall be inconsolable when he passes though, so I don't even know why I'm having these thoughts. I just know that I don't want to own any more pets.
I fucking just don't want to adult anymore. 'Responsibility to me is a tragedy' The different stages all last too long. My parents left the nest at 17, me at 21, but it feels like I'm going to be leant on forever. I kinda know that parenting is like that, but still.
I'm sitting here crying like a weirdo, so please be kind.
Thanks for reading. I have no idea if anyone will be able to understand or relate!

It's definitely not just you. I'm only 6 months younger than you and my youngest isn't 5 yet... it's a long road ahead 🫠

You're in a shit space, whether it be menopause or something else, but you need some "happiness", something small, whether it be a little walk in the park, a hug from the pooch, accept that you're feeling a bit shit, that it'll pass, that it's normal.

Don't start questioning why, that starts all types of stress, just accept you're feeling a bit shit and it'll pass. Then have a little cry if you need it, then do something to make your situation a bit better, if your rooms untidy, tidy it up, if its nice outdoors and you like the outdoors, go walk, just do something easily achievable so you can finish it and go YAY, done. It's a little celebration.

Small steps

I remember this feeling - including the ex husband bit. I so desperately wanted him out of my life for good, that I was wishing away their teenage-hood. Now Im an empty nester and sometimes I really really miss being needed - sometimes I dont. When we are all together again and I become 'mum' its a double edged sword - I love it, and it also drives me crazy and I cant wait to get back to just being me again in my own space. Its an adjustment I guess, but I can relate and you will blink and be on the other side missing it - but also revelling in the freedom I bet.

Yes, I feel the same and I'm 50. I'm sure it's hormonal/perimenopause. I just feel flat and drained. Could barely talk to DH earlier because I just wanted to be alone. I'm not unhappy. I'm actually quite content. But I feel lethargic and everything seems to be too much effort!

OP, I hear you and could have written your post myself. 💐

I'm 52 in a few weeks and am so utterly sick of being needed by everyone, for fucking everything. Yes, I love them all but God, when is it my turn?

It doesn't help that I've lost three friends to cancer in the last 2 years, and a fourth won't be too far behind them. I'm terrified that I'll be the same and never make it to 'my time'. I can see myself looking after my dh (7 years older), just like my mum is doing now for my dad, and still never having a life. Sounds selfish but I'm so tired and can't see it getting easier for a long time, if ever. Self employed and only just managing financially is not helping, either - no time off, so the hamster wheel continues and my mood gets worse.