To not want to date again or get into another relationship

[Neckandarmpain]

I'm single 3 years now after a horrible ending to a six year relationship. I was broken-hearted at the time but can see now I ignored a lot of red flags and have had a lucky escape. It took me a long time to get over but I'm so happy single now... I've siblings, a good circle of friends, a hobby which keeps me busy at weekends.. I'm early 50s, never married, no children, and only one previous 2 year relationship and so I've been single for a large part of my adult life. I now realise that, while the relationships were okay, I'm definitely happier and have a more fulfilled life alone and I've zero interest - at the moment anyway- in getting involved with anyone.

The problem is someone in my life who wants to set me up on a date with a man she knows and can't seem to understand my lack of interest and says things like I should give him a chance and everyone needs a good partner. I don't want to meet this man, and give him false hope when my heart isn't in it.

AIBU?

Why on earth would you be unreasonable to be very happy with your life and content with your choices?! I feel exactly the same as you about relationships. Just be very clear with this person and say you don't want to be set up for the reasons you've described, but thanks for thinking of me!

Tell your friend you appreciate she means well, but you are happily single and do not want her to be trying to set you up on dates.

Tell the friend (nicely at first), don't apologise, don't start with "sorry sharon" - you're not sorry, you're telling her straight.

Sharon, I'm quite happy as I am. I know you think everyone needs a partner, but that's your interpretation and it doesn't fit my life. I'm quite capable of making this decision. I appreciate your intention but I'm going to state now I'm not interested. If you keep pushing this, I will stop contact with you. This is the final discussion I'm willing to have on this matter. I will of course let you know if I change my mind, do not bring it up again.

YANBU at all!
However I'd be tempted to go on the date anyway. It's a new experience and you might end up with a new friend. I'd make it clear to your friend that he should turn up with no expectations though!
But I really don't blame you for wanting to remain single.

What about sex? If you're not bothered then no need to consider it again but if you miss it then you can still avoid the relationship bit. You can still say no to this date. You just may want to reconsider the terms of your blanket ban.

Great advice, thank you.

To be honest, I am happier now than I was in a relationship and I'd like to keep it that way!

I've quite a big circle of friends and really don't need any more as it's difficult enough to arrange meet-ups with the ones I already have! No, I don't want to go on the date anyway as I don't want to lead him on.

Good on you. Your quite happy, and of sane mind to make decisions about your own life.

Your position may change in future, it may not, their pushing you toward an unwanted "date" at a time when you're not wanting to date isnt doing you or the other guy any favours whatsoever, They don't think about that though.