Would you go on a holiday with your friends

HappyHelper123 · 2025-02-01T20:30:48+00:00

AIBU to think it wouldn't work very well for DC6 and I to go on holiday with friends who have no kids ?

MrsJHernandez · 01/02/2025 20:42

It really depends on what kind of people they are and what you all expect from the holiday.

For example, you probably don't want to be dragging your DC to bars until the wee hours if your friends want to go out for drinks every night.

I went to Cyprus last year, and so many people were still out at bars after midnight with kids in pushchairs. Even older kids were falling asleep at the tables with banging music. I felt so bad for them. Totally selfish parents.

You'll want your DC to have a fun holiday, and that's probably not by going sightseeing or doing other things kids find boring.

As I say, it really depends on everyone's expectations.

LouisvilleSlugger · 01/02/2025 20:45

I can’t fathom why a childless couple would want to go on holiday with a child. Or what the appeal would be for the child with no others to play with.

Fleurty · 01/02/2025 21:02

As a child free couple we go on holiday with a friend group where everyone else has kids every couple of years. We have an agreement that we'll all go off and do our own thing if we want to to cater to our different interests and spend time together whenever it suits.

We manage to have a good time and spend quality time together despite the different interests and patience levels for things like kids discos and hotel entertainment!

Catza · 01/02/2025 21:11

Impossible to answer. I quite happily go on holiday with my friend and her daughter. I don't go clubbing or get shitfaced so it works perfectly fine for us.

JC03745 · 01/02/2025 21:12

Clearly depends on the relationship and whether the others are clearly aware beforehand you are taking a child along? You said 'friends' so I'm assuming this isn't just 1 other person going along, so presumably they could do adult things together if you can't go along? Also depends whether you are on a clubbing holiday to Ibiza or a quieter museum/beach/relaxing holiday?

I'd be making sure the others are ok with your child going along and not felt they are pushed into a corner to agree. I'm childless, 12yr TTC, so not by choice. Several times with friends/relatives, I wrongly assumed that luncheon out, clothes shopping, getting my wedding lingerie, going to XYZ cafe was just the 2 of us. I'd then be surprised to see 1, 2 or 3 of their children tagging along. As a childless person, inviting another adult out- my last thought is that a child will be coming along too! As a parent, I can only assume, they think that children come to everything, unless explicitly told not too? I don't know, its just different assumptions and lack of clearer communications I guess?

coolkatt · 01/02/2025 21:20

If they are going clubbing every night or even late drinking and I will be pissed off about not being there then don't go.
If u can make a holiday about ur child, meet up with ur friends for meals, outings trips etc then leave them at night to go back to hotel while they go clubbing/drinking/shows etc then go.
If you are going to drag ur child to kid friendly bars that I will tell u are never kid friendly then I say don't bother, it's so selfish, nothing worse seeing a lot of kids in a bar at all hours while parents are pissed and kids running about mental, it's a disgrace and believe me in pretty laid back when it comes to adults having time to do stuff they like too. Just not this. So yeah. Go if u and not going to grudge being on ur own in hotel after ur last meal.

familyissues12345 · 01/02/2025 21:21

I probably wouldn't go away with a childless couple/person, just because I'd worry that they'd be peeved that we couldn't do loads of adult things if I have a child in tow. If they'd already said they'd be happy, then I may consider it

TomatoSandwiches · 01/02/2025 21:23

It's not something I would sign up to.

cariadlet · 01/02/2025 21:24

It could work out. Depends on everyone's expectations.

I've done a couple of group holidays with friends. Dd was young at the time and was the only child.

We did one on Cornwall and a couple of city breaks. Each morning, we talked about where we fancied going so often split into smaller groups, meeting up for dinner in the evening.

Dd was very much part of the holiday group but I didn't expect anyone to parent her and was very careful not to let her take over conversations or become the centre of attention when others were chatting.

At night, I took dd back to the hotel/hostel and the others went out for a drink.

TheSilentSister · 01/02/2025 21:25

If you are single with a 6 yr old, I'd say no. A baby or toddler fine, they will fall asleep quickly and often. A 6 yr old is going to expect to be entertained and will get bored often. They are not old enough to appreciate sight seeing etc. It really depends on your friends, you know them best - would they be accommodating?

MarchInHappiness · 01/02/2025 21:35

Many years ago Dd (aged 7) and I went on a joint holiday abroad with another family (my friend, her dh and dds) for a mutual friends wedding, in which our dds were flower girls. Our families were quite close back then, so I thought it would go great. All the activities were decided by them, their DDs were slightly younger and they had different interests, so it was stuff DD and I didnt particularly enjoy. Plus they had different bedtime, cooking etc habits and they took the biggest rooms for all their crap. It wasnt a dreadful holiday but I wouldnt do it again, and that was suppose to be a family orientated holiday!

I cant imagine bringing your dc on a holiday with a bunch of other childless people. It has a recipe for disaster unless they love child friendly activities and want early nights. Otherwise, it does seem a bit pointless if you do your own thing, the only benefit is you might save money on accommodation.

Original poster

HappyHelper123 · 01/02/2025 21:55

MrsJHernandez · 01/02/2025 20:42

It really depends on what kind of people they are and what you all expect from the holiday.

For example, you probably don't want to be dragging your DC to bars until the wee hours if your friends want to go out for drinks every night.

I went to Cyprus last year, and so many people were still out at bars after midnight with kids in pushchairs. Even older kids were falling asleep at the tables with banging music. I felt so bad for them. Totally selfish parents.

You'll want your DC to have a fun holiday, and that's probably not by going sightseeing or doing other things kids find boring.

As I say, it really depends on everyone's expectations.

We're not a "clubby/bar" group so no issues there but I feel like there are other issues from not quite understanding what it's like to have kids

OP posts:

Original poster

HappyHelper123 · 01/02/2025 21:57

LouisvilleSlugger · 01/02/2025 20:45

I can’t fathom why a childless couple would want to go on holiday with a child. Or what the appeal would be for the child with no others to play with.

I've said I won't come on grp hols now as with a DC it's too hard but they keep bringing it up so I feel like they must want me to anyway...DC wouldn't mind (actually would love it) if he was getting lots of adult attention but they aren't the type to give them it

OP posts:

Original poster

HappyHelper123 · 01/02/2025 21:58

Fleurty · 01/02/2025 21:02

As a child free couple we go on holiday with a friend group where everyone else has kids every couple of years. We have an agreement that we'll all go off and do our own thing if we want to to cater to our different interests and spend time together whenever it suits.

We manage to have a good time and spend quality time together despite the different interests and patience levels for things like kids discos and hotel entertainment!

Yeh I think that would be a good idea ..

OP posts:

Original poster

HappyHelper123 · 01/02/2025 21:59

JC03745 · 01/02/2025 21:12

Clearly depends on the relationship and whether the others are clearly aware beforehand you are taking a child along? You said 'friends' so I'm assuming this isn't just 1 other person going along, so presumably they could do adult things together if you can't go along? Also depends whether you are on a clubbing holiday to Ibiza or a quieter museum/beach/relaxing holiday?

I'd be making sure the others are ok with your child going along and not felt they are pushed into a corner to agree. I'm childless, 12yr TTC, so not by choice. Several times with friends/relatives, I wrongly assumed that luncheon out, clothes shopping, getting my wedding lingerie, going to XYZ cafe was just the 2 of us. I'd then be surprised to see 1, 2 or 3 of their children tagging along. As a childless person, inviting another adult out- my last thought is that a child will be coming along too! As a parent, I can only assume, they think that children come to everything, unless explicitly told not too? I don't know, its just different assumptions and lack of clearer communications I guess?

Ah yeh I totally get that would be frustrating!

OP posts:

ThinWomansBrain · 01/02/2025 22:01

I did once - friend who was a single parent with three children - just a city break.
It was OK, we didn't live in each others pockets.
I got a bit irritated with the youngest, he seemed v childish - turned out that although he was about 6ft tall, he was only just 10; I'd presumed he was older.

Original poster

HappyHelper123 · 01/02/2025 22:03

MarchInHappiness · 01/02/2025 21:35

Many years ago Dd (aged 7) and I went on a joint holiday abroad with another family (my friend, her dh and dds) for a mutual friends wedding, in which our dds were flower girls. Our families were quite close back then, so I thought it would go great. All the activities were decided by them, their DDs were slightly younger and they had different interests, so it was stuff DD and I didnt particularly enjoy. Plus they had different bedtime, cooking etc habits and they took the biggest rooms for all their crap. It wasnt a dreadful holiday but I wouldnt do it again, and that was suppose to be a family orientated holiday!

I cant imagine bringing your dc on a holiday with a bunch of other childless people. It has a recipe for disaster unless they love child friendly activities and want early nights. Otherwise, it does seem a bit pointless if you do your own thing, the only benefit is you might save money on accommodation.

Stuff we do together is generally/mostly child friendly like pottery painting and driving a canal boat etc but they don't really have the patience to talk to DC for long so I find it harder than solo parenting to be honest

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healthybychristmas · 01/02/2025 23:49

No, I wouldn't take my child in that situation. I would do it with my own family where they would give the child plenty of attention and we would all accept it was okay to go off for days on our own, but it doesn't sound as though these people are very nice to your child at all or that they would make adjustments totheir holiday.

Original poster

HappyHelper123 · 02/02/2025 20:02

healthybychristmas · 01/02/2025 23:49

No, I wouldn't take my child in that situation. I would do it with my own family where they would give the child plenty of attention and we would all accept it was okay to go off for days on our own, but it doesn't sound as though these people are very nice to your child at all or that they would make adjustments totheir holiday.

Yeh that's the thing

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ViolinsPlayGentlyOn · 02/02/2025 20:04

LouisvilleSlugger · 01/02/2025 20:45

I can’t fathom why a childless couple would want to go on holiday with a child. Or what the appeal would be for the child with no others to play with.

So parents of only children should never go on holiday just as a family because there are no other children to play with? What a strange viewpoint.