Ignoring irritating small talk messages

[Yoghurtpotlid]

Absolutely sick to death of picking my phone up and receiving messages from people I'm really not interested in. I'm half falling asleep watching tele and the same bloke from work has messaged at 7.15pm asking how I am. He also messaged Thursday. Wednesday. Monday. Saturday. But once you reply they want to keep the conversation going all night and honestly I don't want to!

Do I just ignore people and feel guilt free or am I just being ignorant?

100% keep ignoring them

wont be long until no one bothers to message you and you can enjoy peaceful evenings falling asleep in front of the tv

These aren't my friends or family. They are more acquaintances

Why do they have your number if they are not friends? Or was it a being put on the spot type thing. I hate to ignore people but in this situation I usually give a short reply then don't open subsequent messages for a while.

If you're not interested in the bloke at work perhaps let him know?

It sounds like they are interested in you as more than a friend?

I have started to reply a bit less promptly to mundane messages like this. I just can't be arsed anymore I will look and reply when I feel like it. I don't mean days later just not right at that moment

Put your phone on silent and reply once a week or something, or not at all and just state you're not big texter

I agree OP, this really annoys me too.

I know MN really hates this, but I’m going to do it anyway.

Ignorant= not know something, be uninformed

It would not be ignorant to not reply to the small talk messages but the people who sent them might think you are rude. Ignorant does not mean rude

Fb messenger.....

I think it's rude to think you should have someone's attention and time in the evenings when your not close. Especially 3 or 4 times a week.

I have kids and stuff to deal with aswel. I just find the back and forth never ends.

He has expressed he's unhappy in his relationship and that's a red flag for me now too..sick of bored men testing the waters because I'm 35 and single

Its literally daily I'll see certain names pop up saying how's you. It makes me sigh. Because you can't just reply and close the chat down. They then want to engage. I find it's often work acquaintances who want to discuss every shift. But also the odd male who's looking for a connection and if I don't feel one I hate the good morning texts every day. I dont want it. I must be an awful person.

A bloke you work with, who is unhappy in his relationship, is initiating daily text conversations with you? And you don't consider him to be a friend?

Why are you putting up with this? You don't have to be nice to him. You don't owe him your time.

Next time he texts reply "Hi Bob, I'm finding all these messages a bit much. I'd prefer it if you stopped texting me, cheers!"

I feel you OP. I hate this kind of thing and to make it extra difficult - I’m a people pleaser!!!

@Yoghurtpotlid your not an awful person. I completely get where you're coming from. I really value my time now having two kids myself and I don't really want to get into the mundane how's you chat. Only engage when you want to, and fb messenger god that's giving me the ick. I turn off my notifications a lot or phone on silent, job done

Why are you befriending them on Facebook then? I only have family and close friends added. There is zero possibility that a random bloke from work is going to message me. I don't understand why someone is pretending to be social having thousands of Facebook contact if they don't actually want to socialise with anyone.

Close it down, just tell him you're not into texting and you want him to stop. Then never reply again.

I mean, fuck this guy, he's looking to use you as a distraction from his relationship.

That's disrespectful of both you and his partner. He's not a nice person and doesn't deserve your time.

"Why didn't you reply to my Facebook message last week?"

"Oh I'm trying to reduce my social media use for my mental health so I've uninstalled a lot of apps".

*Obviously this won't work if you're posting shite on Facebook on a daily basis.

Do I just ignore people and feel guilt free or am I just being ignorant?

You can ignore them. It's absolutely fine! Please don't feel guilty. Your time is your time, you can do with it what you want.

If you feel bad about not replying, maybe start by just ignoring it till the next day, answer when you feel like answering. I mean, I do that with friends, let alone acquaintances! If I'm veging on the sofa and get get a message but don't want to reply that minute, that hour or even that day, then I don't. No one takes offence.

"Being rude" is one of the two meanings of "ignorant" in Ireland (and probably in some other places). So, you are wrong: to be ignorant absolutely means to be rude, and that is correct usage, in Ireland at least.

Yuck I hate this! If you don’t want to tell him to leave you TF alone, block him and if he mentions it at work tell him you’ve deleted fb and change the conversation.
Please remember you don’t have to reply to this man. You can ignore him. You’ve got this OP ☺️

Read the message but don't reply. They'll soon stop. Better still de-friend on FB.
Just because your single doesn't t mean you don't have company!

The next message you receive send back the thumbs up and then mute! You can't see the messages so you won't feel irritated or obligated to reply. It is so intrusive of people, I've got one at the moment and it's daily, throughout the day. If I don't reply they send another message a couple of hours later saying hi or how are you? I've taken my online status off for only them, that's whatsapp though I'm not sure about messenger settings. X

You can block FB connections from messaging you. You can make your DMs private. You can uninstall messenger. You can unfriend them on Facebook. There are lots of ways you can avoid this. You can't control what others do.

You don't need to make up excuses for ignoring anyone, if you don't want messages, don't make it so people can message you.

I hate it when people constantly try and start conversations, but they aren't people you can block. I end up not replying most of the time because they will always reply back and not take hints, and want to chat all through the day. I actually find it insulting they think I have all this spare time to constantly message.

Make sure you set your WhatsApp so that people can't see when you're online or whether you have read your messages. That makes it easier not to respond.