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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have moved this woman's handbag?

52 replies

Sacredhandbag · 01/02/2025 16:48

Today I was at a soft play which was part of a bigger local attraction. My DC went off to play and I looked for somewhere to sit. There were several 4 seater and 6 seater tables and some single seats all around the edges. All the tables were occupied and most of the seats around the edges were too, some with coats on. One four seater table was empty except for a handbag right in the middle of it. I squeezed into an available empty single seat with my DC's coats and bags.
20 minutes went by and noone had been to claim the handbag and empty table. I needed to order some lunch for my DC and to have somewhere to sit and eat it so I picked up the handbag, moved it to my single seat which was right near the table, and claimed the table, ordering lunch on the app.
By this point I honestly thought that the handbag might have been left by mistake so I thought I'd keep an eye on it and hand it in to the staff on my way out if noone came back to claim it.
A full 45 minutes went by (so over an hour in total since I first arrived) and as my 2 DC and I were sat there eating lunch, a woman with three kids came back.
She looked confused for a second, then saw the handbag, snatched it up, rounded on me and said "That was OUR table, we were SITTING there??" waving the handbag at me.
I explained that noone seemed to be using the table, it was busy and there weren't many places to sit and that I wasn't actually sure if the handbag was there on purpose or not or if it had been lost.

She got very angry, bordering on aggressive and said that they were already sitting there, she had just taken her DD to such-and-such a place, which is on the other side of the park, there was a queue there so it took ages and she'd already ordered lunch to that table so we needed to move, and that I had no right to touch her handbag
There might have been more argument but a family leaving came over and said they could have their table so she matched off there instead but kept making loads of passive aggressive comments for the next 15 minutes until we moved on.

WIBU to move the bag and claim the table?

BTW this has nothing to do with my username, pure coincidence! 😅

OP posts:
Original poster
Sacredhandbag · 01/02/2025 18:06

pestowithwalnuts · 01/02/2025 17:48

What idiot leaves their bag on a table and the clears off for almost an hour ?

It was over an hour! I was sat on the single chair for 20 minutes, and then I sat at "her" table for 45 minutes! So a total of 1hr 5mins that her handbag was just sat there. And that was just the time after I arrived. It was probably there longer before I got there.

OP posts:
Original poster
Sacredhandbag · 01/02/2025 18:08

Spectre8 · 01/02/2025 17:32

I just hand bag into staff saying someone left it behind and when they come along to the table and ask where it is, feign ignorance saying I have mo idea itnwasnt here when I got here but try asking staff as they might have it

All these people saying they'd lie are NBU but they don't know my children! They'd grass me up first opportunity they got! 🤣

OP posts:
Notateacheranymore · 01/02/2025 18:10

Glorybox2025 · 01/02/2025 16:52

I would have denied all knowledge and said the bag wasn't on the table when you arrived.

This is exactly what I was thinking as I got to the end of the OP.

For the situation as it panned out, 20 minutes was more than long enough, so over an hour of tying up a whole table was ridiculous. PP’s are right, she was lucky it wasn’t nicked.

AcquadiP · 01/02/2025 18:17

Tbh, I would have been extremely uncomfortable with the fact the handbag had sat there for more than a few minutes unclaimed. Unlikely I know, but it could have had explosives in it. I would have reported it to staff.

Topseyt123 · 01/02/2025 18:18

She was a total fool to leave her handbag on a table and go off like that.

Most people keep bank cards, credit cards, phone, house and car keys in handbags, with plenty of identifying stuff too. Anyone could have just picked it up and walked off.

As for her claim that they were sitting there, no they weren't. Nobody was unless under an invisibility cloak for over an hour.

You did nothing wrong. Maybe next time she will actually sit at the table rather than waft off indefinitely.

IzzyHandsIsMySpiritAnimal · 01/02/2025 18:20

After 20 minutes I'd have handed the bag in to the reception desk and told them it was left unattended so you assume someone left it behind by accident.

You did nothing wrong and the woman is a CF of the highest degree.

Cornflakes123 · 01/02/2025 18:21

I think you were right to move the bag in those circumstances. What a sense of entitlement that woman has. Ridiculous

Spurber · 01/02/2025 18:24

AcquadiP · 01/02/2025 18:17

Tbh, I would have been extremely uncomfortable with the fact the handbag had sat there for more than a few minutes unclaimed. Unlikely I know, but it could have had explosives in it. I would have reported it to staff.

Exactly thank you. No one should be leaving any bag unattended

Spurber · 01/02/2025 18:25

The whole place could have been evacuated while it was destroyed

Moonnstars · 01/02/2025 18:27

Well done for making her move. Lack of seating in soft play is notorious.
Maybe next time hand the bag in to the staff after so long, say you think it has been left and could they pop in in lost properly (which as far as you knew was true).

OldTinHat · 01/02/2025 18:33

@Spurber You're probably right!

mondaytosunday · 01/02/2025 18:55

How trusting to leave her handbag there! I might have turned it in to the staff snd said you were worried it would get stolen.

RickiRaccoon · 01/02/2025 19:07

At our soft play people do claim tables with bags and shoes, not normally a lone handbag. And there are usually ample tables so it doesn't matter. I think you were okay to move the bag in that length of time but I would've half expected someone to come back. I'm with those who would've lied and said it was already on the chair when you got there.

Floralnomad · 01/02/2025 19:14

Spectre8 · 01/02/2025 17:32

I just hand bag into staff saying someone left it behind and when they come along to the table and ask where it is, feign ignorance saying I have mo idea itnwasnt here when I got here but try asking staff as they might have it

This is what I’d have done .

scotstars · 01/02/2025 19:34

YANBU. We have a little community complex near us and people do this all the time! Not necessarily with a handbag but put 1 coat on a seat to claim the table as theirs then go off for the 1st hour of the session it's so annoying as there's not alot of seating and no one then uses a full table for 4 or 6 when there might only be 2 seats at it being used and none at that time

Tisthedamnseason · 01/02/2025 20:03

Glorybox2025 · 01/02/2025 16:52

I would have denied all knowledge and said the bag wasn't on the table when you arrived.

I'd have done this as well.

I don't think you were wrong to move it, but there's no point arguing with such j reasonable people so I'd avoid her having a go by saying it wasn't me.

FoxtonFoxton · 01/02/2025 20:28

I'd have denied moving it. She wouldn't have a clue, anyone could have done it. I'd have just said there wasn't a handbag on the table and it was empty.

Screamingabdabz · 01/02/2025 23:34

“You left that bag for over an hour so you haven’t been sitting here at all. And don’t raise your voice at me.”

stichguru · 01/02/2025 23:52

You weren't wrong, but I actually wish that soft plays would put lockers in. When my DS was little, we'd often go to soft play just the two of us (only child), and he'd often want me IN the play area, either to chase him, or to help him. I never liked leaving my stuff on the table, because partly I never felt safe leaving my handbag, but also because I didn't need the table for long. We might be there 2 hours, and at the table for 15 mins. I would have much rather left my stuff in a locker where it was safe, and then when little man wanted a snack to have got a table and stayed there for the duration of the snack, then locked my stuff up securely again when we'd gone back to play. Like I do at a trampoline place - much easier.

Lighteningstrikes · 01/02/2025 23:53

She’s bonkers.

Apart from that, I can’t understand why anyone would be so utterly stupid to leave their handbag in a public place for over an hour.

stichguru · 02/02/2025 00:01

I'm intrigued. For most parents is a soft play

  • Only go to soft play if you have more than on DC or if you are meeting friends?
  • encourage your child to play alone
  • Discourage your DC from doing anything that aren't confident with?
  • Drag your bag round the playframe?
Original poster
Sacredhandbag · 02/02/2025 21:41

stichguru · 02/02/2025 00:01

I'm intrigued. For most parents is a soft play

  • Only go to soft play if you have more than on DC or if you are meeting friends?
  • encourage your child to play alone
  • Discourage your DC from doing anything that aren't confident with?
  • Drag your bag round the playframe?

If I only have one DC with me, I encourage my child to "make friends" with the other children there. It's good practice for them and both my DC are good at it now. They simply join in.
I haven't been I side the playframes since they were very little and physically needed assistance

In this case, the woman wasn't even in the soft play. I was at a larger attraction with a soft play as only part of it. She'd buggered off right out of the soft play and into another part of the attraction, nowhere even near the soft play area.

OP posts:
Anydreamwill · 02/02/2025 21:46

You should have took her purse out and paid for your meal with it. Who the fuck leaves their handbag willy nilly? Stupid cow

Onlyvisiting · 02/02/2025 21:48

I'm impressed. I think I'd have handed it in to reception, so I could claim being innocently concerned it had been left behind 😆.
Cheeky cow. Is this the soft play version of claiming sun loungers before dawn??

Original poster
Sacredhandbag · 02/02/2025 21:53

Onlyvisiting · 02/02/2025 21:48

I'm impressed. I think I'd have handed it in to reception, so I could claim being innocently concerned it had been left behind 😆.
Cheeky cow. Is this the soft play version of claiming sun loungers before dawn??

Unfortunately my DC are total tell-tales. They'd have grassed me right up to this stranger 🤣
I'm honestly surprised at the amount of people who could/would blantently lie with their DC sat there with them. Do their children just not pay attention to adult matters like my nosy two do? Or are they just more loyal? 🤣

OP posts: