To think this is unacceptable

[moaningagain]

So following the split from husband 8 months ago. He has agreed to have the children one night per week. He has met somebody else and they are currently on holiday. He has not contacted the kids via phone or anything since Monday. I don’t understand how he can go all the time without hearing from them. He also texted me this morning to say that his sister will be picking the kids up in the morning.

100% this. If they think they're getting some then they don't give a shit about anything else. Fucking pathetic 😒

Unfortuantely this is quite normal for men. A high proportion of them lose interest in children when they are no longer with the mother.

He wasn’t interested when we was together either.

I agree with this, yes. Yanbu, OP, of course.

I think plenty of separated parents could happily go a week without speaking to their kids, knowing they were safe with the other parent. If your kids have expressed a wish to speak to him, give them the phone and show them how to call him.

He is actually using his gf's dc to play at being a good guy.. He will be playing games and acting the part.. You know full well he isn't actually a decent df though.... If you went via court op I doubt you would be granted nightly phone calls.... He is also entitled to enjoy his time with the dc...

Surely this shouldn't come as such an outrageous shock, then? I understand the frustration, though. Your kids deserve better.

Do you have a partner or are you open to dating? I think you should focus on your own life now. Your ex is gone (and it sounds like good riddance) and there's a space available in your own life for someone special. Focus on yourself, and move on. 💐

Let it go, sounds pretty normal, and no need to phone when they are at his place. Leave them be and catch up when they get back unless theres any serious issues not mentioned here.
This could be as much about you as the children.

OP I did the same when I first split up with my ex as I was devastated that I wasn't getting to see my children all the time. It did make it worse for me and them though, we all had to get used to the new normal. I send a text still to make sure they are okay but stopped with the phone calls as the kids got upset.

And if a RL friend had this problem, that would be your response would it?

Or is it just because you're anonymous that you find it easier to reply to an OP like that.

Hmm, let me think.

So contacting them
means contacting you
and I doubt that’s something he fancies doing and so has just thought he’ll wait until he sees them in person
sensible

My daughter contacts him on her tablet

So usually…, he does contact them during the week?

Well, you've had your arse handed to you, haven't you 😂

So your daughter has tried to contact her dad and he’s ignored her?

There are many things I thought my child's dad should do when we split up but this wasn't one of them

No it is not normal for men. Yes I would agree that it is more men than women, but I wouldn’t agree it is a high proportion

I really don’t think this is as big a deal as you are making it. He’s on holiday. His kids are with their mother. I would not be expecting him to call.

Unless he usually checks in on them regularly with calls during the week anyway, I don't think he's done anything too terrible.
There's nothing wrong with sending his sister to pick them up...he trusts her and as the parent it's his decision to make. I'm sure you won't always seek approval from him for your choices either.

Your ex may well be an absolute twat, I don't know. He certainly sounds a rather detached sort of father but these two things alone aren't damning.

I know that's going to be an unpopular opinion.

So If, as you say, your dd contacts him on her iPad
has she contacted him and he’s ignored the call?

He doesn't exactly sound like the most engaged parent.

Having said that - if I'm away travelling for work I don't tend to phone home much. I compartmentalise pretty easily.

One night a week? Pathetic. The alarm bells should have been ringing when he thought that was a suitable contribution to their upbringing required 24/7 over seven days.

He is an adult, he shouldn't be influenced by his girlfriend regarding his children.

I can see why you are upset OP, but I don't think you should worry about it too much. It's not something you can manage or control, so you probably just need to accept that it's the way things are. When DS2 was 2 years old (he's now 10) I went on a work trip for 11 days, the longest I've been apart from him still. We actually did only talk on the phone once, because it upset him, and he was calmer and happier while I was away when we didn't talk, so we didn't do it again until I came home.

Did you stop her contacting him op
or did she contact him and then he ignored her

i am going to guess the former, as otherwise this would have been your OP not just that he hasn’t instigated contact!