Help to stop gambling

[Helptostopgambling]

I'm currently sitting on my hands to stop me gambling. I had a balance of £600 this morning, and I could have taken this out. I needed the money. Now it's gone. And I really, really want to get it back.

I need help. I can't seem to stop, no matter how hard I try. I have registered with Gamban, and got all the software, but it doesn't stop the illegal sites. The foreign ones.

I shudder to think how much I've lost over time.

If anyone else has been in the same position, how did you stop?

I stop for maximum 2 days, then I go back.

Name changed, but been here a long time.

Block your cards from gambling on your banking app right now. There should be a waiting period before you can unblock. That will stop the immediate urge. Let us know when you’ve done it. I’ll wait here.

It’s hard I’ve been there. I registered with Gamstop to stop me opening new accounts and requested self-exclusion from individual sites where I had accounts. It still took time and as you say it doesn’t work for illegal sites.

The thing with the illegal sites is you need to recognise that the majority are scams and you will never win. Mostly they reel you in with texts so block each one as soon as it arrives.

Not going to lie, like any addiction it takes massive amounts of willpower to stop. You need to take advantage of all the tools out there to help you stop. Talking to someone you trust helps and there is also Gamblers Anonymous for support (https://gamblersanonymous.org.uk ).

You will beat it and will feel so much better about yourself that it becomes easier to stop.

Good luck

As others have said, contact GamStop and GamCare (2nd one has 24/7 helpline on 0808 8020 133 and also a live chat / forum).

It’s so brave of you to admit you need help. Be proud of yourself and stop beating yourself up over money lost. It’s gone and no grief can bring it back. Think of how much you will gain - financially and emotionally - by seeking help.

Block your cards from the apps as suggested and also block the foreign apps. Have you spoken to anyone- family/friends/GP?

Do you have anyone you can go and stay with, who won’t let you gamble? Preferably a family member or very close friend, to whom you could give your credit cards/ devices with access to money in them? You need to switch off apple pay etc so that you simply can’t use them - it’s just too easy otherwise to think,”I’ll just have one go…”. And delete all the sites from your devices. If you have the means to block them, so much the better. It’s a mug’s game, as you have so amply demonstrated, but you need help, and you can be proud of yourself that you have taken the first step in asking for it here. Find organisations that can support you - but for now, you need to find someone to be with because you won’t be able to do it in your own. These sites are designed to reel you in, and it takes a huge amount of willpower to leave them alone. I sincerely hope you get the help you need - wishing you all the best.

Got a partner? Maybe they can do the spending for you, divvy it out like pocket money?

Look up the use of naltrexone in treating treating gambling addiction. I believe it's really promising.
Sorry this is happening to you, I can imagine it's hard for others to emphasize but it's an addiction like any other.

Thanks @everyone. I appreciate your input.

No partner, recently divorced, well, just over a year. Was very traumatic. Involved cheating on his part.

I have an iPhone, and you can remove eye blocking software very easily, there's no point even putting it on. I have it installed on my laptop. I asked Gamban why it was so easy to remove, and they said it was something to do with the latest iPhone update and out of their control.

I know ultimately it's up to me, but it's so hard when you're trying and the tools don't work. Last week I had won £3000 but they only allow £400 withdrawal every 36 hours, so I gambled it all whilst waiting on the withdrawals 😢 I was totally distraught. I know this is a ploy to get you do lose the money, but I can't seem to stop.

I've done a self referral for the NHS gambling counselling, but I think it's quite a long wait.

I feel after writing this out, I may stay away today. I know I'm going to just gamble any winnings away anyway!

Thank you. I will have a look.

This is your strategy from now on. The money is gone. Don't think you can get it back. It can get worse. It's a progressive disease and where you are now will look good to where you can end up.. So it's all about from now on, not the past. It's not inevitable you will end up financially ruined, but there's a strong possibility unless you take action today.
Immediate action
Block all sites. Self exclude from any you can. Hand over all control of your money to someone you trust and be accountable for everything you ask them to spend your money on. This is really hard to do but the most effective action you can take in the furst few months of recovery.
Go to Gambling Anon or some other support group.
Tell your bank. This will effect credit in the immediate future from them but can be worked through and won't effect you as much as continued gambling will. They can help with limitting transactions and blocking site payments. They will help on this side.of thongs. You are not the first or the last.
When the fog has cleared look at where you have got yourself and how to prioritise debts. Get help.in doing this. Debt stress is a major reason of relapse. Debts aren't accumulated over night and aren't sorted overnight.
Identify what triggers you. Is it late evening as a reward for the day done, escapism from stress, bord, feeling undervalued or angry. Then when the triggers are there have distraction plans to fill the time.
Don't look to weeks ahead. Today is important and you just have to not gamble today. Think about tomorrow when it comes.
Don't get complacent and think you have everything under control so just one bet is fine. It isn't for us pathological gamblers. The only control we have us not making the first bet.
You can control and manage this but it's going to take effort and hard choices.
You can do it if you really want to.

And you are correct that pathological gamblers can never win enough or lose enough. Winning and losing isn't what it's about. But don't over think why yiu are in this position. Just get the barriers in place.

I don't know how this happened to me. I don't drink or smoke and I've never taken drugs or any other vice! I'm an ordinary middle aged woman with grown up children.

Honestly, I've taken every precaution I can. But these illegal sites are ruthless. They prey on vulnerable people like me and others who are caught in the grip of this addiction. You can't block texts, they call from different numbers, emails from different addresses. It's relentless.

@ClareBlue thank you. I will try and think from this day forward. That helps.