My mum never approved of the boyfriend I started going out with aged 18 - but to cut a long story short - by the time we moved in together when I was 24 she accepted it - even wished us well in our new home!
But I later found out that she’d been lying to her neighbours about me moving out. Apparently when the neighbours asked where I was she’d say “upstairs in her room.”
One day my Dad picked me up from my house to take me back to visit mum - he always picked me up even though it was only a short bus ride. He then drove to a nearby industrial estate and said :
”you see we haven’t told Barbara (their neighbour) that you’ve moved out because she hasn’t asked”. Which I thought was a bit strange - I mean if that was genuinely the reason they haven’t told the neighbours - I.e. totally innocent reason - then why bother bringing it up in the car? It turns out ‘Barbara’ was there visiting mum at the time.
When me and my boyfriend later separated - by which time Mum had died - I was in ‘Barbara’s’ house having some tea and she said she didn’t know I’d moved out with boyfriend. When I told my Dad I’d told Barbara this - he said “oh, you told her, did you?” then pulled a face. Another neighbour. Maud, (I bet you all love the fashionable names!) said that every time she asked my mum where I was during the year I lived with my boyfriend, my mum apparently said “in her room” when I was living with boyfriend.
The other thing, when I was in the process of moving out - my mum said “No babies! Well not until the house is ‘sorted!”
When my Dad later that year told her I wasn’t feeling well, my mum thought I was pregnant and she yelled “I’LL EMIGRATE!!!!!” Nice!!
AIBU to feel put out by being so ‘not good enough’ for my mum that I was lied about etc.
My parents have form for being (extremely) weird…
on a humorous note … maybe I should have insisted my Dad got blacked out windows for his car and I put some dark glasses on every time he picked me up so no one could identify me 😎
I think he picked me up purposely so that I wouldn’t get talking to neighbours on the way back from the bus stop!