Workplace criticism.

[Rainagainandagain]

I started a new job in a new team last year in summer. I am the most junior member of the team but not the youngest. Ive never done the job before but have similar experience in a bank. Ive been put on a sales course but not training. Manager is very assertive, has opinion on everything. Last week I made a big sale. I have never done a sale before and i did the documentation myself but told it was wrong i had no help writing it i asked but was told i should do it myself. I explained I have never done the documentation before and they heavily critisicised my work said you should have done it this way etc.. manager was laughing when reviewing it and said i should have written this that x y z etc... They also criticise everything i do. I cant do anything right. They said I messed up some other work in front of the whole office and said does it make sense I said of course It does. Like I was stupid. It made me feel stupid. I can't do anything right. I did phone sale last week when i finished that was wrong. I did a spreadsheet that was wrong. I did a report that was wrong i do everthing wrong. I want constructive critiscism not ripping apart and telling off in front of the colleagues and not nitpicking about everything i do and say. They constantly berate and call other people behind their back. Very bitchy atmosphere. I never join in the gossip. I have lost my confidence and feel powerless demoralised and pathetic everything I say they criticise. I don't know what to do. Wwyd? Call them out in front of everyone? Never been in this situation before. DH no help he doesn't like me moaning friends just say leave.. wish I had not left old job.

I would say that I asked for help but was refused and told to do it myself.

I would point out that if you don't train me, how do you expect me to carry out tasks correctly?

Every time they criticise or point out an error, just say "You haven't trained me".

I'm sorry you're having such a crap time. Work shouldn't make you this unhappy, and you shouldn't have to work with such arseholes.

It sounds like a horrid, toxic workplace and I'd think twice about staying. I'm not sure you'll ever be happy there, unfortunately.

Edit: Your DH is also an arsehole. He should be supporting you and offering advice & help. Not telling you to be quiet & stop moaning. What an unsupportive, uncaring, unempathetic bellend.

Thanks so much for your kind reply. I've never done the work the current manager meant in charge talks people how to discipline their children how to do this that xyz. Too opinionated. Another colleague sticks with her and both together berate other colleagues and managers. No one is immune from their wrath its painful to listen they also swear using derogatory language and its meant to be a professional office... i dont mind but they are always using bad language I don't and I don't think think they like that either. I have lost my confidence.

He gets all angry with me telling me to stop bothering him. He says it's my own fault.. i needed someone to talk to. thanks for your time and reply.

OP you need realistic expectations here. It's obvious that your manager is toxic and bad at their job.

You don't publicly criticise a new member of staff that you haven't trained properly. The office sounds toxic.

You need to look for another job. I can't emphasise enough how much bullying effects your mental health.

Your husband doesn't sound very supportive either but that's for another thread.

Sounds like a cultural problem

Very bitchy atmosphere. I never join in the gossip. I have lost my confidence and feel powerless demoralised and pathetic everything I say they criticise. I don't know what to do. Wwyd? Call them out in front of everyone? Never been in this situation before. DH no help he doesn't like me moaning friends just say leave.. wish I had not left old job.

I'm with your friends: leave. I was in exactly the same situation. Left after 6m. Vastly happier in the new job. At my first appraisal after 3 months in the new job, I was praised so highly that I was embarrassed. Because I am actually good at my job.

Move on. Leave the hypercritical power-tripper behind you, and never let them live rent-free in your head again.

I work in an environment like this, it won't be long before it affects you mentally.

I'm sorry but it sounds like you need to find another job - quickly.

This place isn't good for you (or anyone else, by the sound of it).

Leave as soon as you can. I worked in a toxic workplace for 9m and It destroyed my mental health. It’s been over a year and my confidence still hasn’t returned to the level it was

Leave.i did 18 months in a place like this.
Worse still my colleagues wouldn't speak to me at all.
Absolutely not worth the mental torture.

Life is too short for this drama. It won’t get better and the best thing you can do is start looking for another job. Is there any chance you can go back to your old job? There’s truth in the saying that the grass isn’t always greener.

Agree, get out before your confidence goes. In the meantime meet criticism with polite requests for constructive points that you can use to improve (you won't get any, because their agenda is to bully you, not to improve you or gain business), and find some allies in the workplace - don't moan to them but seek some mentoring or tips.

I have hardly slept all night. I felt humiliated by colleague talking as like I am stupid in front of the whole office. They openly call other colleagues names but focus has switched to me.. I want to confront her in front of everyone but could make things worse. They left their last job as they didn't get on with people there.
The overarching line manager works in the office but they let things happen and intimidated by them.
Colleague gives me tasks but doesn't give me all the information or changes what what they asked for so I do the work then tells me I've done it wrong like setting me up to fail.

Sorry to hear that. One person has already left they called them weird but they just horrible. I can't sleep and lost all appetite

Make the decision to leave - you don’t have to leave immediately, but in your head, make the decison to go .. this in itself will (in your head) take the power away from these people.

Treat the whole job as a training exercise to bump up your CV .. do things, that add to that “skills and experience” section.

Start seriously looking for something else. Update your CV, and keep adding to it.

Find a place that values you.

I worked in a place like this. I had done similar jobs before but needed training in some new aspects which didnt happen. It was my first full time permanent job after temping/part time

Maybe shown once and do a minor mistake that would be easily rectified by myself in 5 mins but was instead ripped apart.

Knocked my confidence completely when i had worked in other places and everyone had commented on how quick i was to pick things up etc. But this one woman knocked me down in a couple of months. ( still on going issue as i know they keep losing staff even now)

I say leave as soon as you can before you lose all confidence

I am step mother to two wonderful DH. No children of my own. One colleague said "you won't understand as you don't have your own kids"and at Christmas said "you're missing out by not having kids". It's made me feel worthless and sad..

If you are still making sales under this pressure then you are able to make sales!

Is your old job still open or recruiting?

I'd get your CV out and about and try and get out of there ASAP.

It sounds dreadful working there. How do they expect staff to remain if that’s how they get treated. How much notice do you have to give them if you resigned? When you interview for another job and they ask you why you left this one, be sure to tell them exactly why, and they’ll be understanding.

I think your husband feels helpless and is at a loss as to what to say to you. He could be a bit nicer about it though.

Thanks to all for your replies. My work is constantly nit picked and scrutinised in front of others. The boss may as well write the document themselves by the Time they have finished. The two colleagues are always messaging each other and giggling away when I talk.
Work is slow so guess it gives them something to do.

Is it just one team or a bigger business with different departments? Is there any chance of requesting a transfer to a different department?

Whilst I appreciate and ultimately agree with all the PP saying just leave, please consider whether you have the opportunity and/or strength to raise this as a grievance with HR.
I was in a similar position to you years ago, and I made an complaint. Turned out this manager was notorious and there was a long line of victims before me who just left and didn't say anything. I couldn't with good conscious not say anything and just allow the cycle to continue with the next poor sap to replace me.

I could request a move. Think it will be for thr best

If you feel strong enough you could ask for a meeting with HR and request a speedy internal move. Let them know what you have told us here. That you are being publicly ridiculed for your work, whatever you do, despite asking repeatedly for training and guidance. That the aggressive and confrontational atmosphere, with repeated swearing, and being belittled, is now affecting you physically to the point that you are unable to sleep and are so stressed by work that you have lost your appetite. And ask them to help you by treating the meeting as confidential, and helping you to move quietly to another kinder and more professional team. Wishing you the very best of luck. Workplace bullying is absolutely horrible and sadly, very common.

When you mentioned the two giggling I specifically remember this.
I raised my situation with HR and the women were spoken too.
Ultimately nothing changed though.
It was the only time in over 35 yrs this has happened to me.
Made me feel dreadful though.