I dont even know how to start this one the man is insufferable.
id like to preface by saying he has a learning difficulty and epilepsy caused by lead poisioning he had as a baby, plus he has shortterm memory lose, but i feel that this doesnt excuse his actions.
me and my partner have been together for almost 4 years but he was my best friend before we were a couple and we often say we were a couple without the sex before we actually became a couple we were that close. Our relationship moved pretty quickly we got engaged practically as soon as we became a couple like i said we were best friends so its not like we didnt know eachother and I also got pregnant pretty fast because i wanted a child so bad. DS is almost 3 now just for scale.
For context my mother died when i was very young and my DH's mum died about 9 months before me and him became a couple.
my FIL has never liked me, is a rude, self centred ahole that only thinks of himself, no one else in my DH (i know we arent married but easier to say than partner) family have ever liked me or bothered to get to know me as a person except his younger brother who i genuinely adore.
when i was pregnant my SIL got pregnant aswell and her daughter was born 6 months or so after my DS. The first 6 months of my DS's life my FIL was all over him and would not leave me alone.
my DS was in NICU for 2 1/2 weeks even though he was born full term because he was born with epilepsy had a seizure in the birth canal and got stuck, almost died whilst being born, needed resus and didnt actually breathe until about two minutes after, it was very traumatic. Seeing him in NICU was traumatic, my FIL kept insisting on seeing him in NICU and would not leave us alone so i allowed it, he did nothing but take pictures he forced us to be in when i was a mess and just be obnoxious. When my son finally came out of nicu i requested that everyone including my own family leave us alone for two weeks so that me and DH can ajust to being at home with a baby which was completely new. i was accused of being a bitch and keeping his granson away from him and all sorts.
i forgot to mention whilst my son was in NICU and i was still a patient at the hospital my FIL offered to help DH clean our flat for when we both came home so DH agreed and they did it, later that day my DH came to see me and he cried, you know why? Because FIL had cleaned my relatively spotless bathroom and found that my unopened packet of sanitary pads had fallen off the shelf (obviously i didnt need them i was pregnant) and inbetween the cleaning products on the floor between the wall and the toilet. Apparently that was unhygenic and i'm a dirty tramp and disgusting and what if my (newborn) son had got a hold of them?. He also told me DH to leave me because of this, i'll repeat he told my DH to LEAVE ME over an unopened pack of sanitary pads that fell on the floor. When i had just given birth to our son two days prior. I was fuming and DH forced him to apologise to me.
anyway fast foward to now. FIL doesnt want anything to do with my son. Ever since SIL had her baby, my son has been second favourite, he refuses to see him, treats him like he isnt even a member of the family, ignores him, refuses to play with him when he sees him and treats us all like shit. He refuses to take my son for even one night but has his other granchild there multiple times a week, or goes to see her at her house 3 miles away (we're literally around the corner).
he ruined our christmas because he refused to come and spend it with us when he said he would (and spent the whole day on facetime to SIL and her daughter and wouldnt even speak to me about it. made my DH cry because he felt unwanted.
then didnt even speak to us for weeks since christmas.
then last week my DH finally called him to ask what his game is and if he wants to be a part of our son's life. He said one sentance and FIL lost it, blamed me for the way he treats our son and said he never wants to see us again because he cant handle the truth. he also dragged my dad into it (he's only met him twice) saying that im bias toward him and that he bets DS sees him more which isnt true i havent seen my dad since boxing day and if my dad even thought about acting the way FIL does i would cut him off straight away until he fixes himself.
DH reckons he wants nothing to do with our son because cant talk/ is epileptic/ half deaf/ possibly ASD, whereas his other grandaughter is completely normal.
DH has also been emotionally abused most of his life by FIL but has only now agreed with me about going no contact, which im happy about.
i missed out alot of stuff because its alot of reading but long story short i hate the man. He never acceptd me into the family, he treats us all like shit and i never want to see him again.
i believe he is a horrible man that uses his illness as an excuse to be nasty to us as he treats his other granchild and children fine but not us.
any questions on stuff i missed out welcome