Dog seriously ill, due to go to Australia on Sunday

[77788r]

My dog has become seriously ill in just a few days, she's having an operation on Wednesday next week and we've been told there's a 75% chance of success of her surviving the operation. If she doesn't have the operation she would likely have less than a month to live.

I am due to fly to Australia on Sunday for 2 weeks. The holiday cost me thousands. The travel insurance won't cover a cancellation or change in dates for a pet, and the pet insurance will cover £1000 which is better than nothing.

I feel devastated. It is a huge sum of money, I've saved up and done so much planning and preparation and I feel sick at the thought of it just going to waste. It was for a big birthday. The operation is also thousands of pounds, so this whole situation is costing nearly 6 months of salary for me. I also feel sick at leaving my dog, not knowing what the outcome of the surgery is gonna be or knowing if it's the last time I'll see her. I've spoken to family and friends who think I should go, aside from the family member who would be looking after her while I was away - they said it would be wrong for me to go and they would never consider going themselves.

I don't think I'll go but it hurts so much, I'm so upset at the timing of it all

What a horrible unkind comment. How to tell someone you’re not an animal lover without actually saying those words

I know. But there are still no guarantees she could afford Australia in the future.

The pooch comes first and you know it xx

I would say she comes first xx

The OP matters too.

If I was your partner I would say go on the holiday and I will be there for the dog. I am a dog lover by the way and would know that my partner loved the dog too but I wouldn’t want them to lose out on a once in a lifetime holiday. The doggie has one of its owners/parent with him so that is fine.

Do you generally have issues with empathy?

Oh my God go. They're not a relative they're your partner!!! Say your good byes to your beautiful dog. Though it sounds like they'll pull through at 75/25. Your partner is being very unsupportive here. Why won't he or she be joining you in aus?

You should go.

Your dog needs you. Do not abandon her in her hour of need. She will recover a lot better if you are around. If you fly off to Australia and your dog suffers or in the worst case scenario she dies, you will never forgive yourself.

One of our dogs, Logan, became very ill and had to be put down the Monday before my DH and I were due to have our joint 40th Birthday meal with our family and closest friends. We ended up cancelling as neither of us were in the right place for celebrating.

Personally, as devastated as I would be to lose out on such an amazing trip, I know I wouldn’t be able to go away, relax and enjoy myself - it would be constantly on my mind and I know I’d never forgive myself if I wasn’t there and the worst happened or a relative had to make a difficult decision as my proxy.

But that’s me and it’s a huge amount of money to lose out on, not even mentioning the missed experience of Oz. I don’t think you should feel bad whatever you choose to do - just go with your gut and regardless what you decide, do not let anyone make you feel bad!

Sending positive vibes for your lovely dog and the op xx

Sorry to hear about your poor dog x

If you have someone who can care for your ddog then your going won't change the outcome - your ddog will get the best care and has a good chance of survival.

If it's a splenic tumour then the prognosis for surviving surgery should be good. The long term outlook is variable but the recovery and convalescence is actually quite short, they bounce back quickly. If your partner is there I'm sure would be fine to go. Realistically you can't do anything they can't do , not like you are leaving her with strangers. You are a great owner, you obviously care a lot and are paying to give her this chance. Your physical presence won't change things at this point. Hope it goes well for her.

IT is a dog. A sensitive soul with a strong bond to her owners. It will make all the difference if her owners are there to support her in her recovery or at worst, and god forbid, in her final moments. There’s no way I could jet off to Australia. I would not enjoy the holiday at all as I would be worried about my dog.

I’m sorry what an awful choice to have to make, I can’t imagine being in that situation. If you went away you be so worried you won’t enjoy it? If it was me I don’t think I would go (but very very difficult to really say). Would also email travel company ceo/ tweet / instagram and send them pics of your dog. Maybe Australia is off the cards but maybe you could swap it for somewhere cheaper? There must be a negotiations in there somewhere and they gotta have a heart?! Hope the operation goes well!

I’m so sorry you are in this position. Personally I wouldn’t be able to leave my dog but would also try my utmost to make the situation work for the best. I would phone the travel company and hope to get a lovely understanding person on the phone and see what they can do to move your travel date. Just try, it might work x

Sorry for this horrible situation you are in.

I have cared for my own dog after major orthopaedic surgery and it's a completely different kettle of fish from day to day care. He needed lots of different medications on a strict schedule and making sure he didn't disturb/infect the wound (very important for long term recovery) was a full time job. Also, he was understandably extremely needy and wanted to be comforted all the time. I was of course happy to do it but it was rather exhausting. Can you trust your partner to provide the same level of care you'd provide yourself? I think that'd be part of my decision.

It so, postponing the flight out by a few days would seem to be a good option to me. I think you won't enjoy the first few days of your holiday anyway, not knowing whether she's going to make it through the surgery or not. By postponing, you can hopefully comfort her in the immediate aftermath and depart with a bit less guilt than you otherwise would have.

😭
When I have the flu or feel generally unwell, or a slight temperature my beloved dog does not leave my side for an instant. When I have been upset or teary my beloved dog knows and does not leave my side.
Non dog owners underestimate the bond that there is between a dog and their main carer, even if there is another owner there is usually one person that the dog is bonded to especially.

I could not and would not ever ever leave my dog when they needed me. No matter how much money I stood to lose.

Could you try? I’m guessing you’re aware that people often get attached to animals and love them greatly. She’s worried about leaving her beloved pet during surgery and recovery. It’s especially difficult due to being so far away and a long awaited and expensive trip. Hopefully that helps.

Agreeing that it’s a full-time job. My partner just wouldn’t do it, as in he would say that he would, but then wouldn’t hear if there was an issue during the night, for example. Which is crap. It only takes a few licks for them to cause damage to the wound.

Thank you. It’s coming up to 3 years now and I’ll still occasionally get teary thinking about him. He was amazing and overcome so much in his too short life. I don’t have any kids so my dogs really mean the world to me. I have so much sympathy for the OP here.

I think humans really could learn a thing or two from dogs. I envy their positive attitude to life, how they make every minute count and how they make all the people in their lives that matter to them know they are loved and adored. That feeling they give you, that you are the best and most significant thing in the whole universe the moment you walk through the door….best feeling ever! We really don’t deserve them.

Exactly. A dog might only be here for a fraction of our lives, but it gives all of its life to us. Being there at the end, even if there's only a small chance it's the end, is the least we can do in return for that, no matter how inconvenient it is.

Not seeking to lecture the OP, of course, since it seems they're making the same choice I would. It sucks, and it's a hell of a sacrifice, but it's the right one. I've been there at the end for all of our dogs but one, and the fact that I couldn't physically get there fast enough for that one weighs heavily on me because he was terrified at the end and I was the only one who could calm him, they just couldn't wait any longer. I was five miles away stuck in traffic...I wouldn't wish that on anyone.

Definitely go, the partner can look after the dog

In this situation I would have to stay with my dog. Australia will always be there, and we make a commitment to our pets when we bring them home to live with us.