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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Dog seriously ill, due to go to Australia on Sunday

384 replies

77788r · 31/01/2025 20:07

My dog has become seriously ill in just a few days, she's having an operation on Wednesday next week and we've been told there's a 75% chance of success of her surviving the operation. If she doesn't have the operation she would likely have less than a month to live.

I am due to fly to Australia on Sunday for 2 weeks. The holiday cost me thousands. The travel insurance won't cover a cancellation or change in dates for a pet, and the pet insurance will cover £1000 which is better than nothing.

I feel devastated. It is a huge sum of money, I've saved up and done so much planning and preparation and I feel sick at the thought of it just going to waste. It was for a big birthday. The operation is also thousands of pounds, so this whole situation is costing nearly 6 months of salary for me. I also feel sick at leaving my dog, not knowing what the outcome of the surgery is gonna be or knowing if it's the last time I'll see her. I've spoken to family and friends who think I should go, aside from the family member who would be looking after her while I was away - they said it would be wrong for me to go and they would never consider going themselves.

I don't think I'll go but it hurts so much, I'm so upset at the timing of it all

OP posts:
ToKittyornottoKitty · 31/01/2025 20:52

77788r · 31/01/2025 20:41

It's this Sunday. The relative who would be looking after her is also her owner as well (my partner). I have no idea how you sell a holiday at this short notice but I'll have a look online

I feel so angry. I have lost so much lately - having this trip to look forward to and my dog are the only things keeping me going

The dog will still be with its owner if your partner is also the owner, you should go! Your partner sounds like a prat. Are they jealous they can’t go?

WhenTheyComeForYou · 31/01/2025 20:53

OP - why did you refer to your partner and co dog owner as a relative? Why didn’t you say partner?

Is there more going on?

DoingthefullGareth · 31/01/2025 20:53

My pet insurance paid out for a cancelled holiday last year when my dog became very Poorly and then subsequently passed away, 🥲

ChloeCannotCanCan · 31/01/2025 20:54

Go, enjoy yourself! Your dog will be well looked after by their other owner, you don't need to martyr yourself.

Hellohelga · 31/01/2025 20:54

How old is the dog? I’ve known quite a few people spend a thousands on cancer treatment for their dogs. None have bought a significant amount of time for their pet. If my dog was 12+ with cancer I’d probably make her comfortable and make her last days as lovely as possible. If she was 6 it might go the other way. OP without being heartless you don’t have to bankrupt yourself for a dog who has had a long happy life. And I am devoted to mine.

PixieLaLar · 31/01/2025 20:54

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WhoDatNow · 31/01/2025 20:55

I had similar in 2018. I didn't go but my husband did. I followed on a week later after the operation and follow up and we had a vet nurse look in daily to support family who were caring for my dog.

Whatever you decide, the dog didn't do it on purpose.

biggreenapple24 · 31/01/2025 20:55

The relative being your partner is quite the drip feed!

That changes everything. The dog will be comfortable with your partner and looked after as normal, not left alone with less known people in their time of need.

In this situation I would probably go, but it's a heartbreaking choice.

ToKittyornottoKitty · 31/01/2025 20:56

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It is REALLY over the top calling another person an utter twat for that comment. The dog will be with its owner, OPs partner, this is absolutely fine. With a random relative it would be different but that’s not the case.

oakleaffy · 31/01/2025 20:57

chojoko · 31/01/2025 20:49

I'm going to go the other way and say go. Dogs don't understand death and operations. If the dog was going to be fine with you going away for two weeks, which it sounds like he/she was going to be, then go. To be brutally honest, the dog will either die in the operation or still be about when you get back. Either way, the dog isn't going to know much about it. If your partner is with the dog, then the dog has an owner about? I'm assuming the dog is equally bonded to both of you. Our dog is happy if one of us is about. I don't think it makes much difference to her if we're both there or not... Also what sort of state is the dog going to be in after the operation? Again, I think dogs are either painfree and happy or in pain and not esp happy. If the dog's quality of life is going to be compromised after the operation, then I would really question the op at all. I'm probably going wildly against the mumsnet grain here, but I simply do not understand the logic of keeping animals alive when they're in pain. They don't have the capacity to understand past pain.

Very to the point..but you do make valid points.

We had a wonderful dog who developed an aggressive form of cancer {osteosarcoma} at almost 12 yrs that a young vet was all Gung ho about doing amputation of her affected limb

However, the chief vet at the hospital, who also teaches at a Vet school when I asked her what she would do said
''If she were my dog, I'd take her home, {no op} spoil her for a few weeks and when the painkillers stop working -which they will- get her PTS at home''

We did exactly this. Still think of her often 18 years later.

An op {even now} with that disease only buys a little more time- even Fitzpatrick referrals say that.

The animal's welfare is paramount.

Depends what the tumour is, of course.

Flidina · 31/01/2025 20:57

I'd have to cancel, I couldn't leave my dog , I wouldn't enjoy it anyway I'd be worried sick.

ChloeCannotCanCan · 31/01/2025 20:58

Stop demonising people who don't think the entire world has to stop because of a dog.

They are pets, yes we love them but not everything had to be about them. The dog will have the operation, be looked after by an owner, hopefully be fine. Op can go celebrate her birthday in a fabulous location without the need to feel guilty.

TokyoSushi · 31/01/2025 21:00

I was going to say I couldn't go, but the relation is your partner?

Like a proper, live together, co-owner of the dog, nice person partner? Then surely they can take care of your dog?

If they're not good for some reason then I think you'll have to stay, you'll be totally stressed if you're there anyway...

StrikeAlways · 31/01/2025 21:00

77788r · 31/01/2025 20:07

My dog has become seriously ill in just a few days, she's having an operation on Wednesday next week and we've been told there's a 75% chance of success of her surviving the operation. If she doesn't have the operation she would likely have less than a month to live.

I am due to fly to Australia on Sunday for 2 weeks. The holiday cost me thousands. The travel insurance won't cover a cancellation or change in dates for a pet, and the pet insurance will cover £1000 which is better than nothing.

I feel devastated. It is a huge sum of money, I've saved up and done so much planning and preparation and I feel sick at the thought of it just going to waste. It was for a big birthday. The operation is also thousands of pounds, so this whole situation is costing nearly 6 months of salary for me. I also feel sick at leaving my dog, not knowing what the outcome of the surgery is gonna be or knowing if it's the last time I'll see her. I've spoken to family and friends who think I should go, aside from the family member who would be looking after her while I was away - they said it would be wrong for me to go and they would never consider going themselves.

I don't think I'll go but it hurts so much, I'm so upset at the timing of it all

To be completely honest, I wouldn’t go and I’d claim on the holiday insurance for being ill myself. I’ll get flamed for this reply, but insurance companies make huge profits and this is what I’d do!

Hellohelga · 31/01/2025 21:01

StrikeAlways · 31/01/2025 21:00

To be completely honest, I wouldn’t go and I’d claim on the holiday insurance for being ill myself. I’ll get flamed for this reply, but insurance companies make huge profits and this is what I’d do!

You’d need your GP to fill out the insurance co forms saying you aren’t fit to fly.

AcquadiP · 31/01/2025 21:01

PixieLaLar · 31/01/2025 20:16

Gosh you sound vile.

”It” is a beloved pet and member of the family.

Seconded.

N0sferatu · 31/01/2025 21:02

StrikeAlways · 31/01/2025 21:00

To be completely honest, I wouldn’t go and I’d claim on the holiday insurance for being ill myself. I’ll get flamed for this reply, but insurance companies make huge profits and this is what I’d do!

You'd commit fraud and put everybody's premiums up then would you? Nice.

soupyspoon · 31/01/2025 21:03

Why did you describe your partner as a 'family member'?

Why doesnt he want you to go is it because he thinks you'll be worried or guilty if she passes away

Are you able to put a return ticket on a credit card if you need to come home to say goodbye to her? Although you'll probably miss it if she cant survive, not ideal

PixieLaLar · 31/01/2025 21:03

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Nonaynevernomore · 31/01/2025 21:03

Your partner is the other owner….. then go.

Good luck x

WinterIsNearlyHere · 31/01/2025 21:03

I would definitely go. She is with her owner and the surgery will most likely be a success. It's not like you are leaving her with a stranger.
I love dogs btw.

soupyspoon · 31/01/2025 21:03

StrikeAlways · 31/01/2025 21:00

To be completely honest, I wouldn’t go and I’d claim on the holiday insurance for being ill myself. I’ll get flamed for this reply, but insurance companies make huge profits and this is what I’d do!

You'd need proof, whats the proof?

soupyspoon · 31/01/2025 21:05

WhenTheyComeForYou · 31/01/2025 20:53

OP - why did you refer to your partner and co dog owner as a relative? Why didn’t you say partner?

Is there more going on?

Exactly my question and why not say 'the dogs other owner'

So you had planned to go on a solo holiday (nothing unusual about that)

I had assumed an empty home and the dog going into a kennels

YouveGotAFastCar · 31/01/2025 21:05

77788r · 31/01/2025 20:46

Changing dates is counted as a cancellation (it's a package holiday) with full fee charged with this short notice.

The surgery is to remove a tumour, the vet thinks it's worth trying the surgery - they told me they would not advise it if it was not worth it but they think she has a fighting chance.

In that case, why is it waiting for Wednesday? Can't they do it before then, so you know what you're dealing with?

Although to be honest, if your partner doesn't want you to go, that doesn't help matters...

AlleycatMarie · 31/01/2025 21:05

I’m so sorry @77788r it’s such a tough one. Have you phoned your insurance company to check you absolutely wouldn’t be entitled to anything if you cancelled the holiday?

When my cat was ill I still went away as it was only for a few days. He died two days after I got back. I’m so grateful that I got to see him, but I am still full of regret at going and I can’t get over that. I didn’t enjoy the holiday and just wanted to be home to be with him.

I’m sorry you have to make this tough decision.