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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dog seriously ill, due to go to Australia on Sunday

384 replies

77788r · 31/01/2025 20:07

My dog has become seriously ill in just a few days, she's having an operation on Wednesday next week and we've been told there's a 75% chance of success of her surviving the operation. If she doesn't have the operation she would likely have less than a month to live.

I am due to fly to Australia on Sunday for 2 weeks. The holiday cost me thousands. The travel insurance won't cover a cancellation or change in dates for a pet, and the pet insurance will cover £1000 which is better than nothing.

I feel devastated. It is a huge sum of money, I've saved up and done so much planning and preparation and I feel sick at the thought of it just going to waste. It was for a big birthday. The operation is also thousands of pounds, so this whole situation is costing nearly 6 months of salary for me. I also feel sick at leaving my dog, not knowing what the outcome of the surgery is gonna be or knowing if it's the last time I'll see her. I've spoken to family and friends who think I should go, aside from the family member who would be looking after her while I was away - they said it would be wrong for me to go and they would never consider going themselves.

I don't think I'll go but it hurts so much, I'm so upset at the timing of it all

OP posts:
Bigfellabamboo · 01/02/2025 07:30

TheBoysAndTheBallet · 31/01/2025 20:15

I'd still go. It's a pet not a person. As long as someone is looking after it, it doesn't really make any difference whether you're there or not.

it doesn't really make any difference whether you're there or not.
Well it does to the op. And to her dog.

Bigfellabamboo · 01/02/2025 07:32

FoxtonFoxton · 31/01/2025 20:38

I looked after someone's seriously ill horse once (unexpected illness while they were away not caused by me!) and it was absolutely horrendous. I didn't sleep, hardly ate -the stress was awful. The responsibility of looking after someone's beloved pet is bad enough, let alone when they are very sick.

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That's really true. Similar here, animal was seriously ill, whilst she was pregnant too and it was absolutely awful

Barleycat · 01/02/2025 07:33

TheBoysAndTheBallet · 31/01/2025 20:15

I'd still go. It's a pet not a person. As long as someone is looking after it, it doesn't really make any difference whether you're there or not.

This. It's a dog.

Frogss · 01/02/2025 07:35

You should definitely go on your very expensive, special holiday.
Your lovely dog will be cared for in your absence. And if the surgery is unsuccessful, you will be in a lovely country where it can help take your mind off your grief.

I have an amazing 14 yo dog. I have a once in a lifetime trip booked for this year, could NEVER afford it again, it's costing more than I make in a year! If my dog became ill, I would still go on my holiday.

On a side note, your partner is being very unsupportive by guilt tripping you to stay.

Mirrorxxx · 01/02/2025 07:40

@TheBoysAndTheBallet gosh you are a horrible person.

of course you can’t go. Your dog needs you. It’s just a holiday

Thebigdigs · 01/02/2025 07:46

VeneziaJ · 01/02/2025 06:58

It made me angry😳

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It's just someone who doesn't get it and that's ok. My dog died a few months ago, we spent thousands on his care - cancelled holidays too, I was there for him all the time and we are devastated now he's gone - I'm sure some people didn't get that either and that's ok but we were fortunate that our friends, clients and colleagues gave us space for our sadness.

Tryingtokeepgoing · 01/02/2025 08:08

SecretSoul · 01/02/2025 01:54

Sorry, cross posted!

I'm fairly confident a GP would issue a sick note for D & V if I just rang them and said that I need one. You can't travel if you have D & V so it's a fairly reasonable thing to claim for. It's also the right time of year for a D&V bug.

Just to clarify, I'm self-employed and have been for many, many years and I don't travel because of disabled DC. So I'm not ringing my GP and asking for sick-notes for any reason! However, my DP was having horrendous migraines and for several months his GP issued him sick notes without even seeing him. My GP prescribes for new conditions without even speaking to us on the phone. All we have to do is send in an e-consult, don't even need to submit photos most of the time.... I can't imagine it would be much of a stretch to get a sick note for a tummy bug...

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So, the NHS is on its knees and GPs stretched beyond breaking point, but you’d happily waste their time so you could defraud an insurance company and save yourself some money?

The solution was for the OP to have the appropriate level of cancellation cover in the first place, but it’s too late for that. Her husband is still at home to look after the dog, but if that’s not enough and she, completely understandably, wants to be there too then that’s going to have to be at her cost.

SpringfieldPet · 01/02/2025 08:17

77788r · 31/01/2025 20:41

It's this Sunday. The relative who would be looking after her is also her owner as well (my partner). I have no idea how you sell a holiday at this short notice but I'll have a look online

I feel so angry. I have lost so much lately - having this trip to look forward to and my dog are the only things keeping me going

Actually, having seen that it's your partner who'd be taking care of the dog, and assuming you'd be okay with your partner going if the roles were switched, I think you should go.
It'll be tough, but say your goodbyes to your dog and try and enjoy your holiday.

Pumpkinpie1 · 01/02/2025 08:28

AlertBrickBear · 01/02/2025 00:09

Could you try? I’m guessing you’re aware that people often get attached to animals and love them greatly. She’s worried about leaving her beloved pet during surgery and recovery. It’s especially difficult due to being so far away and a long awaited and expensive trip. Hopefully that helps.

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I have tried . I hope the pet recovers . But at the end of the day it’s a pet .

OlympicWomen · 01/02/2025 08:32

If your dog and this trip are the only things keeping you going, it's a tough decision. Your partner I'm assuming knows the dog and can care for it. I'd go on the trip, but if you decide not to, don't fraudulently claim on any insurance. Just take the hit.

Baileypoot · 01/02/2025 09:00

77788r · 31/01/2025 20:46

Changing dates is counted as a cancellation (it's a package holiday) with full fee charged with this short notice.

The surgery is to remove a tumour, the vet thinks it's worth trying the surgery - they told me they would not advise it if it was not worth it but they think she has a fighting chance.

For me it would depend on how expensive the holiday was (clearly 'very' from your OP), how old and critical the dog was currently and whether you had anyone (very) trusted at home.

I assume from the OP it isnt an OP that can be delayed until you get home? You haven't said how old the dog is.

If the dog is very elderly, I wouldn't be putting him /her through it anyway as I think that's selfish.

3luckystars · 01/02/2025 09:39

I’m going to say something now and no matter what way I write it, it will be incomplete.

My dad has cancer for 10+ years, the amount of holidays and weekends and trips I have cancelled during that time, thinking he wouldn’t make it, I can’t actually count them.

What I realised last year was he did not want me doing that at all. I know I love him, he loves me. Whether I am here or not. He would go on trips if he could. That’s him.
I could actually die before him and I have to live now, and now under a cloud.

I don’t cancel anything now. I know it’s different to your scenario but I thought I’d post that anyway. I hope it helps x

sharkshit · 01/02/2025 10:37

I wouldn’t book a holiday over 1 week with a pet anyway tbh. Animals miss us too much and can get very anxious when we are gone for long periods; I imagine this would be heightened when they are unwell. I think you know that you should cancel and be with your pet, who you made a commitment to look after when you got them.

Pinkissmart · 01/02/2025 11:08

sharkshit · 01/02/2025 10:37

I wouldn’t book a holiday over 1 week with a pet anyway tbh. Animals miss us too much and can get very anxious when we are gone for long periods; I imagine this would be heightened when they are unwell. I think you know that you should cancel and be with your pet, who you made a commitment to look after when you got them.

This is silly. This dog will be with its other owner.

StrikeAlways · 01/02/2025 12:09

RosieDelagioooo · 01/02/2025 00:55

You can’t just fake illness for insurance and if you try you could end up being prosecuted.

Op sorry if you’ve answered this but can you change the dates of the flights for a fee? Surely they not non refundable?

If you go I don’t think you’ll enjoy it and you’ll probably always feel guilty. Wishing you the best of luck

How exactly would they prove that you were not suffering with diarrhoea and vomiting?

Allthatwegotisthispalebluedot · 01/02/2025 14:39

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JoyousGreyOrca · 01/02/2025 14:43

@Tryingtokeepgoing Can you find any holiday insurance that covers £8k worth of holiday if you have to cancel because your pet is ill? I am not convinced it exists

Tryingtokeepgoing · 01/02/2025 15:12

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And that is why the NHS is in the mess it’s in. Everyone expects it to provide everything 😂

My experience of insurance, be it household, car, travel or health is different to yours, as it’s always paid out when needed it. But then I don’t buy purely on price. My integrity is clearly higher than yours as I’m not willing to lie for financial gain. Which doesn’t make me a mug. What it says about you however, is another matter…

Tryingtokeepgoing · 01/02/2025 15:14

JoyousGreyOrca · 01/02/2025 14:43

@Tryingtokeepgoing Can you find any holiday insurance that covers £8k worth of holiday if you have to cancel because your pet is ill? I am not convinced it exists

Anything is insurable at a price. You just need a good broker with direct links to the underwriter. Whether one would like the premium quoted and therefore would actually pay is another matter, and I suspect in this case the OP wouldn’t and this thread would have played out the same way,

JoyousGreyOrca · 01/02/2025 15:22

No insurers routinely refuse to cover certain situations.
OP does have limited insurance through her pet insurance that covers a £1000.
But the chances of a pet getting ill are fairly high, especially as they age.

I can not get insurance to holiday in countries with poor medical care however much I pay because of health issues. That is because medical repatriation would be necessary if my medical issues took a turn for the worse. Even specialist insurers will not cover it. It is simply not true that insurers will insure everything. They look at risk.

jasmine465 · 01/02/2025 15:22

I'm so sorry your dog is poorly. Honestly, I wouldn't go. If your dog is fine and recovers you might feel regretful, but that is nothing like the guilt you'll feel if she doesn't make it and you were away. Having lost a dog while I was on holiday myself, it was just absolutely awful.

Out of interest, what is covered in the cancellation policy on your insurance? Is there any chance of one of those things happening as well? That would be terribly bad luck, but at least you would have the finances to rebook.

Concretejungle1 · 01/02/2025 15:28

I wouldn't go. No money is worth more than my pets.
i would want to be here to look after them after surgery, if they didn’t make it i’d never forgive myself for not being there.
i hope your dog pulls through op Daffodil

Topjoe19 · 01/02/2025 15:29

Gosh the dog will be with your partner! Yes of course you should go. I'm sure your partner will be able to care for your dog once the surgery is over.

stanleypops66 · 01/02/2025 15:37

I probably wouldn't go, even if my dog was with my dh. If anything happened to the dog, me, dh and dc would be completely devastated so I'd want to be here so we could support each other.

vandel · 01/02/2025 15:50

That dog will more than likely be fine and will be bouncing around waiting for you on your return! How nice would to greet him when you get back, knowing that he has been so well cared for by his co owner in your absence.

Of course things can go wrong, but I think you have to be realistic here and trust dog's care to the vet and your partner. It's an awful lot of money to lose for something that might not, (probably won't) happen.

There is always the possibility of a loved one or pet getting sick AFTER we go away, nothing we can do really. so I'd go and trust those at home to look after dog very well.

What does your partner say anyway? Does he encourage you to take the trip and reassure you that all will be well? That would be important and if he does, definitely go.