AIBU to feel like a bad mum?

[WanaBeMillionaire]

My little baby is 8 months old and has recently started nursery as I had to go back to work. For the last 3 weeks she has been poorly. I know its okay for babies to get all the coughs and colds, it builds up the immunity and can't be helped- but I just feel so helpless.

2 weeks ago she had bronchiolitis with projectile vomit and refuse almost all fluids. She had just got over when this week we woke up in the night to her gagging on her own mucas. It was stuck in her throat and she couldn't breath. This happened multiple times leading to a AE visit who eventually sent us home. A few days on she's still very mucasy, we've had mucas gagging/ sicks at least one every night since leading me to not leave her side when she's asleep and half feeds at best. Just to top it all off sickness bug has now also entered the house which I'm praying doesn't spread to me or her.

I just feel so useless and unsure how to help her through all this, Dr's don't seem concerned as when she's awake in the day she's alert and not dehydrated- thats comforting but I'm having a breakdown on how to deal with all the stress and worry! How do all you mums do it?!

Sorry I don’t have much advice but didn’t want to read and run. It is tough for babies especially their first winter. Hopefully spring isn’t too far away now and by next winter she will be bigger and stronger. It is hard with nursery as they do tend to pick stuff up. But you are doing all the right things, keep fluids up, keep a close eye on her and take her to an and e if you are worried over the weekend. My son is respiratory vulnerable and has a virus and tonsillitis at the moment so I know how it feels, 4th day of being up all night here, it’s so miserable cold and flu season. Sending hugs

I'm sorry you're going through it with your little one - it's tough going when they seem to catch everything going 😩 if your baby doesn't have a temperature, is drinking plenty and is alert during the day, these are all good signs. Night-time tends to be the worst because lying down makes the congestion worse. Have you tried a humidifier in baby's room? These are good for congestion and you can add a few drops of olbas oil to the water. Also, try sitting up with her upright in your arms, head on your shoulder to sleep (take it in turns with DH as it means you don't get much sleep!)

Saline drops are a godsend for mucus

YABu as you’re definitely not a bad mum! This happens when they start nursery but on the plus side my first dc was never off sick at school after getting all that was going at nursery!

Buy all the remedies you can; saline drops, snuffle baby, calpol plug and so on and share a room if it makes you feel better! Your little one will get better soon.

OP it is not your fault your DD caught a bug. However it is very stressful and worrying and you can be forgiven for going a bit mad in the process? Is she your first?

My son suffers with a chronic condition where he was very bad spells where he’s sick and in extreme pain. He’s 8 and so can articulate his pain with words which is a blessing and a curse. I understand the horrible feeling of not being able to make them better.

But what I will say is persevere - she won’t be ill forever, and also follow your gut. And be insistent with medics if you know something more needs to be done. It saddens me how many drs will fob children off and you need to not be afraid to push for what’s needed.

Also please please please give yourself a break. You’re taking care of her, you’re attending to her medical needs under great stress, you’re smashing it!