To get annoyed with husband at everything

[sushiandarollie]

Husband (together 8 years) is your stereotypical man, clueless about housework, chores and has no common sense. It’s driving me mad. We have a DC who is 3. I have to tell him everything. Husband came home from shop unaware to check used by dates and bought meat that will be out of date when we need it, pork pies with no use by date (must have been missed off) so no idea when they are out of date. He previously bought a milk with lid come off and so it spilt everywhere.
He plays the fool. Oh I didn’t know about the dates. ‘Oh do I need to put a new bin bag in the bin’. Rubbish overflowing and he claims to not realise.
AiBU to get annoyed so easily over these things. He’s at his wits end with ‘how I keep having a go at him’ I am at my wits end with him

Yes. Learned incompetence to make sure you will stop asking him.

I'm in the minority but here goes.
OP, you sound like a complete pain, worrying about sell by dates as though they had any meaning and then using them to berate your husband.

This

No, that is not a stereotypical man.
A stereotypical man is a capable and practical practical.
You have described a stereotypical child.
You are enabling his behaviour.

A worrying number of men do seem to think having a baby means the woman is suddenly in sole charge of all housework, cooking, shopping, and general drudgery. As well as looking after the baby ofc and often working.too. I suppose on some level they think we'll have no choice but to put up with it. But they're only making themselves redundant.

Stop giving him sex. He'll turn into a pouting three year old. Still don't give him sex. He'll throw a tantrum. Still don't give him sex.

He does one thing decently, like putting the bin out. Give him sex.

He reverts to being lazy. Stop giving him sex.

He does one thing decently, like checking the dates on ALL the things he buys. Give him sex.

He reverts to being lazy. Stop giving him sex.

Repeat.

Some men won't listen to words. At all. They need to feel the consequences. But if they're lazy, they will try to pressure you into giving them what they want, instead of working to earn it. If you give in, it will breed resentment in you and he'll never change. He will pout, moan, whine, tantrum, whatever it takes to get sex from you. Do not give it unless he has shown you good behavior that day. Even if he does the chore grumbling, grouching, moping, he will have to do it to earn sex. And he will have to do it well, diligently and completely, not half assed. Otherwise, no sex.

You can refine a husband, but some of us got one with the knop stuck at at maximum difficulty mode and we really need to become stronger women for it. I sometimes think we choose our men according to the lessons we have to learn. Saying 'no' and learning that we train others how to treat us seems to be one of those themes.

But not "clueless" about lots of considerably more complex tasks that he has to do at work, I presume?

He can learn. Insist that he does.

This thread is nearly a year old
I wonder if anything has changed!