What would you do?*work*

[stephie182]

Hi all
I work in a care home and a new resident with dementia has a golliw*g doll that they have on their bed every night.
we are a diverse workplace with many people from diverse ethical backgrounds.
a complaint has been made and this has been dismissed and that it’s not an issue.
Am I being unreasonable to think that this is actually an issue?
thanks

If the resident isn't able to talk with you about this could you speak to their next of kin?

I think it's unfair for any black staff to be expected to care for them personally. Racism isn't acceptable because of age.

Personally I'm of the age where I grew up with these so I couldn't/ wouldn't be upset by them .
At the end of the day the person is a dementia patient , surely it would be more damaging to them than a member of staff who is perhaps looking for an excuse to ' be offended ' .
Snowflake generation is all in my opinion

This is exactly my own thinking 💯 Management are aware of the item and have had a complaint but they seem to think it’s ok. I’m hoping that they do discuss it with the family but I’m not sure that they will.

I understand that Gollies are now seen as racist and unacceptable Op and why you'd be unhappy with this but the patient having dementia surely makes this a little different. I presume the patient is elderly and this might be her long treasured toy that gives her comfort - can't it be tucked away in the bed during the day so only she sees it?

If this person if of an age where they grew up with one (and the fact they have dementia and are in a nursing home suggests this) this might be a treasured toy from childhood. I'd be having a quiet word with their next of kin before removing it. This could cause considerable distress to the patient although I see it from the other side too. I also think this thread is potentially quite outing. Just go to management!

Thank you for your reply.
When you say you wouldn’t or couldn’t be upset by them, did you experience racism yourself because of this propaganda?
I think it can be easy to pass off things as ‘snowflake’ generation but unless you have experienced racism or it has had an impact on yourself, then it can be easy to dismiss it as nothing.
Some people would have experienced racism in their childhood and seeing this could bring that back

I'd accidentally bin it

Thanks for your reply, and I agree I see both sides. I have gone to management but it’s been dismissed

Very cruel to do that to someone suffering such an horrific disease.
That could cause such a ln unbelievable level of distress to that person, who will unfortunately not know why their doll is a) offensive and b) gone missing.

To avoid distress to the care staff, perhaps they could only have staff that aren't offended care for this person.

No, I haven't ever experienced racism ( as a white woman) but I have had dealings with people suffering from dementia, and know that they are not always 'themselves ' and are sometimes unintentionally abusive to those around them , those that are caring from them are usually very tolerant people and rightly so , amazing superhumans in some cases, so for me it just wouldn't be a big deal , and I'd turn a blind eye to it , like I would do for lots of other things when dealing with vulnerable patients.
I can't see where you can go from here , you've already flagged it with your employer and they've dismissed it , I'd just let it go .

This. Sorry.

It’s an obligation to be offended these days. If the staff member is taking offence then don’t deal with that patient.

There’s a difficult line because whilst this is a workplace, ultimately, a care home is that individual’s’ home. And people should have the right to their own possessions in their own homes, particularly in the case of a person with dementia for whom possessions may represent a memory or some connection to their past. I think raising it with the family as a previous poster has suggested would be the most sensitive approach. There’s probably also a marker here for additional training and support for staff around difficult and challenging situations: people with dementia, knowingly or not, can do and say hurtful and socially unacceptable things and staff should be equipped to respond to that appropriately without it directly becoming something like a complaint to management about finding it offensive.

For many people of a certain generation, golly’s were a character, like Mickey Mouse or the gingerbread man, and there was no connection to actual people. I know that sounds wild looking through a 21st century lens but it’s true.
So can see both sides to this.

Does your home have an activities coordinator or a memory cafe, or do other work with residents around memories and reminiscing? Understanding why individuals have the attachments they do and how objects relate to memories and experiences can help staff relate better to the people they care for.

Obviously if this golliwog is special to her because it was personally given to her by Oswald Mosley at a march she attended, that’s going to be troublesome. But realistically that’s unlikely. If she can share a memory about it being connected to, say, her sister buying it for her as a present; or the trip she took to the Lake District where it was in a gift shop, that can help staff relate to her better and see beyond the item itself.

Would its removal adversely affect the residents wellbeing and behaviour?

You've raised the issue and management has made their decision. What more can you do, really? I only see three options: You can accept their decision, leave the job, or bring it up again, possibly with a suggestion for what you'd like to see happen. The last option might not endear you to management, so I'd think carefully.

We have a market type shop here. They sell them. The owners are black they don't have an issue obviously.

I would leave it the patient has dementia.

It isn’t an issue. The patient has dementia. The risk of removing it versus it staying put are far in favour of it staying put. I wouldn’t remove an item like this personally and also it is golliwog not golliw*g. I bet you’re the one who complained as well. Stop being a snowflake.

YABU.
If I was the management I would be sympathetic to the complainant, and would likely remove them from care duties to that patient. Also to protect the patient and make sure they still receive unbiased care.
I wouldn't remove a personal item from someone with dementia.

I really should’ve read the thread. Such a surprise to find out you’re the complainant OP. I hope you’re removed from care duties for this patent as you seem to be easily offended by an item a dementia patient treasures / uses to keep things somewhat familiar etc.

My only advice is not everything is about you nor is it there to offend you. Use your common sense and don’t be a snowflake. Life will throw much worse than this. If you are offended over this, I’d hate to see how you react to a real issue.

Is it really necessary to attack the OP and resort to name calling because you don't agree with her?

FWIW @stephie182 I'd have raised it with management too. As they've dismissed it I'm not sure where you'd go from here. Who owns, runs and formulates policy?

Me too

That resident has dementia and spends an awful lot of time not understanding the world around them and not recognising the people around them. If they are comforted by that item then their need trumps yours they have so little else that’s familiar to them. My grandma didn’t even recognise clothes as her own and regularly asked us whose clothes they were and do they want them back

You can't make someone get rid of their stuff just because you don't like it. This is their home, and those are their personal possessions. Ignore it, do your job and get a grip.

The OP was right to raise it, but to remove it without consent is theft no matter how offensive the item.