To not want to visit this couple- both heavy smokers

[bagpuss90]

We have been invited to our friends house for dinner. I really like them both - but they are both heavy smokers. They even smoke at the dinner table. When I leave there - well I stink . My clothes, my hair- I find it really quite revolting. I have to shower and wash my hair when I get home. Im also mildly asthmatic- I end up wheezy and tight chested . I want to suggest we meet up in a pub or restaurant- so it won’t be an issue. It’s their house - so their rules and also their bodies But I don’t want it inflicted on me.My DP thinks I should suck it up as it’s only for a cpl hours.

" Im also mildly asthmatic- I end up wheezy and tight chested."
You should not be worsening your health for their benefit. Do they know that's the result for you of being in their house?

"My DP thinks I should suck it up as it’s only for a cpl hours."
How considerate of him! Thinking of their feelings and not your health. But then he's not the one wheezing and tight-chested.

"I think the thing is they’re from a different generation, and a time when it was socially acceptable ."
IT was socially acceptable to smoke, it was not socially acceptable to make other people ill.

"Anyway I’ve messaged suggesting we eat out"
Excellent! Stick to that, don't be guilted into going to theirs and making yourself ill. There's no need for that to happen.

This. Your DP is totally unreasonable. Glad you're opting to go out.

Smoking is vile, even more so in front of others. Just say you won't go, the smoke makes your asthma worse. You don't need to make up excuses or pander to them.

I have a sibling who is married to a smoker. I have not set foot inside their door for over 25 years. They are not happy about it but not unhappy enough to give up smoking.

I don't think you should go if you don't want to. I think it's reasonable to say why. I think your suggestion to eat out instead is ideal.

My DH gave up smoking a few years ago, and I gave up about a year ago, but my MIL still smokes in her kitchen. I hate it. I can barely breathe and I hate the smell it leaves on us and our dogs. She's always got the back door closed and I'm desperate to open it!

Not unreasonable, I haven't been to my own mums house in years for the same reason she's a heavy smoker and it just clings to everything and even when she comes to mine where she has been sat stinks of it for ages