Is this amount of alcohol ok?

[twinklet4]

I know alcohol is a fairy contentious subject on MN. Some people don't touch it at all and that's fine, but I have always enjoyed a drink. Sometimes too much.

Last year my drinking crept up a lot and around Christmas I really overdid it. I made a very half arsed attempt at dry January but decided it was pointless if I was just going to count down the days to until I could go back to my previous drinking habits. Instead I've tried to make sustainable changes.

Last year I was drinking probably 5-6 nights a week and it was mostly gin and tonic or wine. The issue being that I'd pour my own measures and they were huge! I think I averaged around 30 units per week which is double the recommended amount. I never really felt hungover but I knew it wasn't doing me any favours health wise.

Now I've started buying the 4 pack pre made cans of gin and tonic which are only 5% and 1 unit each. I may also have a bottle of wine over the course of the weekend. So all in all this is 13 units and under the recommended 14. I appreciate to some people this will still sound a lot but to me it's a big reduction and I've also resolved to drink no more than 3-4 nights of the week.

I suppose what I'm asking is that is this an acceptable amount? Do people drink more or less? I am making improvements from what I was drinking but I also wonder if I need to do more.

That doesn't sound too bad at all. But you could try and have a week totally free of alcohol every so often if you are still worried about the effects of drinking on your health. I only drink occasionally.

I think it’s fine. But if you have an issue with overdoing it and it creeping up, then being on the cusp of the recommendation is likely only going to go up in reality.

I drink less, 1-2 glasses of wine a week, but that’s because alcohol really affects my weight. Otherwise I’d drink more!

I think that with drinking it so often seems to need to be 100% or 0% - and people struggle with working out what moderation should look like between those two.

You are obviously drinking a lot less, and a lot less frequently than before. That’s a good thing.

Given you say you’re below the recommended weekly allowance, I can’t really see what the problem is. If you were still drinking way above it, then your question might be more complicated to answer.

Well done for cutting down. This does read like you have a dependency on alcohol tbh. I'd be concerned about that. Dry January, or dry any month, isn't for everyone but it's good to have reset. You might be surprised at how much better you feel.

I think you are making a major adjustment to what you were drinking and great that you aware of the impact your drinking was having on your health. Definetly give this a go and best of luck with it. You never know in a year you may feel able to cut down a bit more. You don't say what age you are I am lare 40s and my alcohol consumption has reduced without much effort, just no interest and feel horrible after it now, I have a couple of glass a wine maybe two times a week. I was drinking a lot more 5 years ago.

It's less of the amount and more of a drinking schedule that would worry me. For example, every year I go and visit my aunt for two weeks and we can easily polish a bottle of wine (or two!) every night. However, when I am at home, I am comfortable spending an evening without drinking. I can have a glass of wine or gin if I want to but I can also occupy my time in a different way. It's not a need to have a drink and, realistically, I probably drink once or twice a month.
So if you reach the point where drinking in the evening is something you crave, that's where I would start being worried. You made some improvements in units, that's great for your health. But there may still remain a wider issue of feeling like you need a drink or something is missing from your life.

who cares what I ( or anyone) thinks of your drinking ?

of course cutting down to what you have is a huge improvement

maybe tackle to core reasons you over drink ?
monjoro is allegedly good for helping

I don't drink (alcoholism both sides of the family) but I think if you can't stop then I'd worry, not about the amount you're drinking but a psychological dependency. Agree with PP about regular weeks off, to perhaps check in with how you're doing.

It's a great start. How do you actually feel now?

IME long term sustainable change can happen in stages. I have reduced my drinking over many years with small changes in habits and attitude. I don't feel I'm "depriving" myself of alcohol if I choose not to drink.

There's a lot of sober/low-level-drinker support out there - books, websites, podcasts etc. that are also really helpful.

I think you have made a good start but ii think you should sometimes have a week without any alcohol
Also he careful because if you find yourself needing a drink a lot of the time and unable to relax without one dependency can creep up on you. Sadly this happened to a friend.
So sometimes instead of pouring yourself a drink think of something else to treat yourself.

It's a good start but it is still a lot. I'd build longer days between drinking to give your body a better chance to recover.

I think you're managing it in a controlled and in a more sustainable way which is more likely to become a permanent habit
Well done. The next step would be to swap out a few alcoholic drinks for non or low alcoholic drinks. There are plenty of low/zero alcohol wines available now plus fancy mocktails/soft drinks.

You could set yourself a challenge to bring your alcohol consumption to 8 - 10 units a week. Another way to reduce the number of drinking nights is to replace it with an activity such as the gym etc. So you're not sat in front of the telly with a glass in your hand, you're busy doing something else.

You were definitely drinking too much and now you are in a safer zone. I would highly recommend putting one of the drinking apps on your phone and keeping tabs. You can then see at a glance where you are up to in any 7 days and see how much money and calories you've saved. You get badges for reducer and moderated weeks. Childish and you might think a bit gimmicky but it will offer you the reassurance you need going forward if you still want to enjoy a drink.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/c8j8wl8jgy3o

Do you have any alcohol free days? I always think that helps your liver.

At the end of the day, alcohol is a toxin. So the less we put in our bodies, the better. But we are all human. You've done brilliantly cutting down. You must feel better?

I do have alcohol free days. Usually Sunday through to Wednesday. I think the reason I drink is boredom. I struggle with childcare and lack of motivation in the evenings - I'm knackered! So having a drink sort of relieves the boredom and gives me a nice feeling. But if I had something I needed to do or somewhere I needed to be (tonight for example I have to pick ds up from a party) it wouldn't be an issue not to drink.

I wouldn't say I'm dependent on it, I just miss it the same as I miss chocolate when I try to give it up.

But I realise that the measures I was drinking last year were ridiculous (sometimes I'd be pouring what could easily be a triple or even quadruple measure multiple times a week!) and that's where my units were creeping up.

I was drinking similar amounts to you last year OP and I also overdid it over Christmas. Well done on finding a moderation strategy you are happy with!

The one thing I would diagree with in your post is dry January being pointless - I am just coming to the end of it. For me it has been important in proving to myself that I can just stop completely if I choose to, and also that I can face various life events without using alohol as a crutch. It has shown me that I can find other things to do in the evening and has given me a month to think about the sustainable changes I want to make. I've also managed to get a couple of other self-care habits going so that I feel better about myself.

It sounds like you've made a great start cutting back, perhaps when you're used to the new way you could think about what the next step is to cut down more. Perhaps it's replacing one or two of the cans with a similarly tasting non-alcoholic version or something like that.

I think the amount itself sounds OK. It's more the sense of habit and dependency which would worry me.

Rather than allowing yourself limits which you are constantly bumping up against, I would focus on trying to completely rethink your relationship with alcohol and why you need to drink.

I hate to say it but I wonder if you need to stop altogether? When you get to the point where you're constantly bargaining with yourself about when your next drink is and how much you can drink you know you have a problem.

@Thepeopleversuswork I do sometimes think that it takes up way too much headspace. Thinking about when or if I can drink. Counting units. Making bargains with myself like if I drink today then I won't tomorrow. It's definitely habitual and it's definitely done out of boredom.

But yeah I take your point and maybe a spell of complete abstinence would help reset my mindset around it all. It's weekends for me that tend to be the issue but I figure if I can limit myself to one bottle of wine and when it's gone it's gone then that's not too bad.

I think it's ok, but I'd aim to get to a stage where you don't have to think about units, counts the can or think "I shouldn't drink mon-wed".
Ideally you want to find a balance that isn't forced, and personally I would aim for something a bit lower than 13/14 units on average.

Finding strategies that works for you to reduce the number of units is good. For instance what you're doing with the cans. I tend to use smaller wine glasses made for desert wine that contain much less than normal glasses. We also generally wait for a kids to be in bed so that seriously reduce the time we have to drink, when before we would have a drink coming home from work.
We also have a rule of "quality over quantity" since the COVID lockdown that works well. We buy good quality wine from specialists shops and beers delivered from the breweries. They cost more so we're limited in how much we can buy. We also enjoy it a lot more so take the time to drink it.

But the real difference will come when you don't rely on alcohol when you're bored, tired etc. Then you can have a dry night without even realising it and your units should drop naturally.
The few thinks that helped me with that:

• having some water or soda when I felt like I wanted a glass of wine, to take the time to think again whether I really wanted it or was just bored
• finding a distraction. I would still pour the drink but I would start making dinner at the same time so I drink it slowly and sometimes even forget about it
• good quality alcohol free beers

OP sorry but I dont think it is "normal" to think about alcohol so much. I rarely drink because there is so much alcoholism in my family.

I see them also making similar bargains with themselves about when they are allowed to drink. They think they are not alcoholics because they can go a few days without drinking. My dad is a functioning alcoholic. He spent two weeks in hospital with no alcohol or cigarettes' but as soon as he was out, the first thing he did was smoke and had his usual whiskey that night. He got through the two weeks because he knew he would get it eventually. It was definitely on his mind.

I would be very concerned about the headspace this is taking up.

Units alcohol = % x volume (are you sure the gin and tonics are 1 unit each?)

14 units is the maximum guidance per week so not really something to strive towards.

huge congratulations for realising your intake was high and starting to make changes- but the effects on your body in the future if you continue to have so much alcohol could still be quite detrimental.

i would re-evaluate why you feel you need the alcohol/what its benefits are- and if there are any strategies that you could use instead (which may not cause health issues in the future -eg swap for exercise or meditation/reading if related to stress) maybe slowly aim to incorporate these over the year and keep the alcohol for special occasions or as a treat

Yes they definitely are. They are only small, probably more like an alcopop than a spirit really. Certainly a lot less than buying a bottle of Gordon's and measuring my own!

Agree it's taking up too much headspace. I think I have deliberately been thinking about it more because last year and over Christmas particularly I just wasn't thinking about it at all and drinking purely out of habit.

That is an amazing achievement to be honest, Well done!