To be “faithful”

[Justagalhere]

I met a lovely man 2 months ago. I already had a girls trip to Dubai booked when I met him. The girls and I come here every year. We’re a group of single ladies in our 30s and we always have a great time. We’ve been here 3 nights.

The new fella and I agreed early on that we weren’t dating anyone else as we really liked each other. Things are going great. He’s not the jealous type and quite a homebod himself. He’s left me to it for the time I’ve been here.

I’ve bumped into a few old flames from previous visits over the last few nights and have avoided putting myself in any position where I might do something I regret with these guys after a few drinks. There have been moments when they’re looked very handsome and enticing, but I’ve stuck to my guns.

The ladies I’m with think I’m being ridiculous and should’ve just done whatever I wanted. They said new fella would never find out and at 2 months in, I’m being way too “faithful

I disagree. I’ve got a great feeling about this guy and although it’s early days, we’ve been lucky to spend lots of time together and I hate the thought of getting home and having guilt from this trip.

AIBU to have been faithful despite it being such early days?

Yanbu girl

Your mates aren't unreasonable in principle, as two months is soon but you and he know what you have, not them, so you're definitely doing the right thing

Lads would behave in exactly the same way, and the right guy would do what you're doing

Enjoy your holiday x

We had girls trip to Ibiza booked when my friend had just started dating someone. She didn’t cop off on holiday and none of us badgered her about it, even tho we’d all booked as singletons. She just had no interest in other men as felt she’d met the one (think they’d been on 2 dates at this point). She was right. They’re now married with kids. We still had an a fab holiday btw! My friends being available to cop off or not didn’t affect my experience so it’s got nothing to do with your friends and what they think.

Not quite sure what “too faithful” means - but if you have agreed to be exclusive than you should stick to your word. Regardless of if he finds out or not.

I love this! I hope this is my situation too. It feels a bit ridiculous to become Miss Prim and Proper after so much fun over the years, for a bloke I’m still getting to know. But the thought of shagging around and then ending up with him (like your friend did), doesn’t appeal!

Thank you! This was my argument to my friends.

You've agreed that you won't see anyone else, and that includes ONS's.

If you really like this guy and he's a good 'un, don't potentially ruin it.

Dubai is a conservative country with strict laws and antiquated opinons of women. A lot of Arab men think Western women are easy. I don't agree with that; I think we should be able to do what we like, as long is its legal. I just wouldn't want that judgement from them or make them believe they're right lol.

Not at all trying to judge or shame you, I've had my fair share of ONS's! 😂

I think you already know, don’t you? You agreed to be exclusive, so you should keep your word.

Another option would be to call him and walk back that agreement. Say it’s too soon and you don’t want to be exclusive anymore.

But don’t just lie and shag around behind his back. You wouldn’t want him to do that to you, so don’t do it to him.

Of course you're not being unreasonable. I don't think it matters how long you've been in an exclusive relationship with someone - if you want to shag someone else, end your relationship first.

No you’re not being unreasonable, you’ve agreed to be exclusive with this man you should absolutely stick to that.

Why would you risk what seems to be a potentially good relationship.
Your friends are bonkers and should be supportive of you.

I think it's ridiculous you have to ask.

You are a woman in your 30s: you and this guy are supposed to be exclusive.
So whether you cheat on him or not should be totally your decision.
And your friends don't sound like true friends if they are ridiculing you for not being a cheat -perhaps they should grow up and realise they are all actually adult women and not " girls".

You have shit friends.

Cheating is cheating no matter if it's 2 months in or 2 years in.

You agreed that you are going to be exclusive. Why ditch that just because your mates are being dicks? No wonder you lot are all single

Are you being unreasonable to be faithful to a man you have promised to be faithful to?...are you really serious?🙄

Your not being unreasonable OP. I went away with my friends on holiday to Cyprus and like you, met my boyfriend 2 months before. I had no interest with having a holiday fling but had a fab time with my friends. We married two years later and been together 25 years with 3 dc's. Have a great holiday OP.

Set and maintain your standards, and let no one distract you from them. Well done.

You're right op.
I hadn't long met a guy when I went to Belfast on a Hen Do. Group got talking to a group of lads, there was a really sweet guy, we had a dance and a chat and he was SO nice but before things went anywhere (and it would only have been a snog) I made myself tell him I had a boyfriend. And of course he was so lovely he accepted it regretfully and didn't push his luck. The boyfriend is now DH of 12 years and father of our three kids. No regrets.

My BF went on holiday with a friend he had a FWB arrangement with, which was booked before I started dating him.

At the point he went away we’d only had one lunch date, but on our second date he disclosed who he had been on holiday with and that when she’d raised the prospect of sex, he’d declined and ended the arrangement because he’d met me and wanted to know where it would go.

OP I think you sound like a good egg like my BF. See where it goes. You can always reconnect on your next trip if this relationship doesn’t work out.

Best thing to do is dump those friends.
They haven't got your best interests at heart at all.

Any chance these friends don't want to "lose" their single friend and trying to sabotage your new relationship?

Your friends are a delight aren't they? Basically nagging you to cheat though, tbf, the fact you're asking the question on here says a lot. If you're doubting your choice to be faithful when that's what you've agreed (doesn't matter how old the relationship is) then perhaps you aren't the one for him.

I think when you find someone you really like the idea of having sex with some random guy is just out of the question. Besides which I'd feel disgusting when I went back home and was talking to him face-to-face.