To ask for any HR/Employment law types out there to help me?

[LookingAtMyBhunas]

Posting for traffic.

I'm 7 weeks pregnant.
Previous miscarriage, ectopic with emergency surgery as it ruptured in October, and extreme sickness which I was hospitalised for multiple times. Am deemed high risk because of all this.

Employer (public sector) knows all this. They havent been great tbh.

I've been working as best I can around the sickness and dizziness, also had to have an emergency scan last week but thankfully for now all good.

Been sick 3 times today, so emailed my line manager at 2 saying if OK I'm going to knock off today (only 2 hours before due to finish) because I'm completely wiped out and the nausea is out of control. Have had a sick bowl next to me on the sofa all week.

She's replied asking if I'm taking it as TOIL??

We accrue this when finishing late etc instead of overtime. I've got about 13 hours banked from working my butt off the last few months, instead of paid overtime.

AIBU to think this shouldn't go against me and I shouldn't have to dip into my toil? Or is she right? She can be quite frosty so I'm quite nervous but that just doesn't seem fair and I'm so sick I feel like I can't stand up for myself anymore 😔

I’d just reply to her ‘no, it’s sickness - I’m really unwell’.

Just to add to my comment above sorry, I’m not an HR expert or anything. But back when I was pregnant, pregnancy related sickness didn’t go on your sickness record, so if it’s still the case, then this can’t go against you.

It’s just the type of thing that TOIL is there for.

But I don't think it is? All the other (male) staff are taking their TOIL to finish early, spend time with their families, and I have to take what I've rightly earned because I'm pregnant and sick?

Have you had an OH assessment? Reasonable adjustments should be considered given your current health needs and may include a phased return to work

Yes don't worry, it doesn't where we are either. Wouldn't be surprised if my manager coded it wrong though!

No OH or risk assessment done yet. I'm tempted to just throw in the towel and go sick to be honest, I've tried so hard not to but hyperemesis is horrific and I just seem to be losing sleep and getting stressed with work.

Is she not just giving you the option of taking it as toil instead of sickness? Can you say "no thank you, I'll take it as sick?'

In the circumstances you decsribe I don't think she did anything wrong. If you had phoned and said that you were sick and finishing work then that would be fine. But if you didn't then asking how you would account for the early finish is reasonable. I think you are reading too much into an email exchange - and to be fair if someone is taking time off sick, even if a few hours, I would expect them to phone in sick (which is usually the policy) not email to say they are finishing early.

So be clear about what you want. If it’s to finish early because you are too ill, then it’s sickness.

Otherwise people are going to suggest things like TOIL because it’s great for earlier & later starts. Lots of people use it when they aren’t feeling great, you must know that.

Have a grown up conversation with your manager and be clear about your intentions.

‘No thank you, it’s pregnancy related sickness so I’m going off sick for the rest of the day.’

I would make sure to put the pregnancy-related bit in my reply!

Thank you, I've done this now.😀