What would you do as a parent in this scenario?

[Yu6]

You are married with a daughter in her early thirties. Your daughter was pregnant and her partner kept drinking to excess so the relationship broke down when he drove under the influence, at which point daughter was 5 months pregnant. Daughter obviously devastated and living around a 1.5 hour drive from you, working full time and now living alone. She’s not coping well and feeling vulnerable and anxious about the future.

As a parent what would you have done to support her?

There really isn't enough information here. Does the daughter have a good income and a job she likes. Is the daughters home rented or owned? How is the mothers financial circumstances and housing?

I would probably visit my daughter to see how she is, but beyond that it's hard to say without more information

Am guessing this is a reverse and you are feeling under-supported by your mother. I'm so sorry. You cannot choose your parents, and many are disappointing parents. Let go of your wanting to be someone she isn't. Draw on resources elsewhere where you can (friends, other family). Good luck.

I ‘d want to go to her and reassure her that we’ll get through it together in the first instance.

Daughter is 30 ..going to be a mother doesn't need support as such. She needs to get on with it as an adult and sort herself out. I don't get how its such a trauma, relationships break down everyday. Get a grip.

Would be there on the phone when needed for support chats etc. She’s an adult and I am likely busy with my own life but would defo try to visit, invite her for a visit, too.

The thing is though.. As parents we can’t just scoop our kids up and run away from the problem. Plans need to be established and put into place.
I am going to assume the daughter has a job to go to and a home with bills to pay. That cannot be thrown away at the drop of a parent swooping in.

I don't know what I would have done as a mother, but as I daughter I would have been very clear about how I wanted to be supported rather than let mum guess. I wouldn't have left a full time job to move back with my mum, that's for sure (and my mum knows I wouldn't live with her, so wouldn't have even offered. Nor would she travel as she has a full time job herself). So regular check ups on the phone is what I would have wanted and my mum is happy to provide that.