To think contraception has been a greater liberator to men than to women?

[Macrodatarefiner]

And for sure, it is a great liberator to women too. Just on balance, men seem to get the better benefit. AIBU?

I've had hundreds of sexual partners thanks to the Pill and being single until I was nearly 50!

I never wanted children. Can you imagine how confined my life had been without the Pill?

Absolutely benefited women far far more than men

2 child limit

100s of sexual partners doesn't say 'freedom' to me

You are free to not have hundreds of sexual partners, if you choose not to.

As had been posted there is one (several) in development.
But even then, when it has come up on here, women (quite rightly) wouldn't trust a man to take it, and another prevailing view is that some women don't like that it takes away their control of fertility (but that is another thread).

And waiting to get married to have sex does?

Contraception has some obvious upsides for women, particularly for women who don't want DC at all.

One of the less obvious downsides is that it's given men more opportunity to have sex and more means to pressure women for sex ('But why not, you won't get pregnant?'), which means they can get laid without commitment, so they can delay marriage age forever. This is not great if you are female and want a baby in a secure set-up before your fertility drops off a cliff, as a lot of the men in your cohort are essentially unavailable as potential fathers.

It also provides men with far more excuses to opt out of having anything to do with any resultant baby ('She wasn't being careful enough... she could have had an abortion...she was trying to trap me...') and the women are left quite literally holding the baby.

As a pp says, Louise Perry explains all of this very clearly. It was on fact my DD who gave me her book: 'Mum! This is what I've been saying!'

One of the less obvious downsides is that it's given men more opportunity to have sex and more means to pressure women for sex ('But why not, you won't get pregnant?'), which means they can get laid without commitment, so they can delay marriage age forever. This is not great if you are female and want a baby in a secure set-up before your fertility drops off a cliff, as a lot of the men in your cohort are essentially unavailable as potential fathers.

But a man who doesn't want commitment or marriage or children, or at least wants to delay them, isn't a great potential father for the women in his cohort anyway. I don't think it's a bad thing that those men can now live the life they want (or try to, anyway). Contraception frees women like me from having to become wives and mothers by default (while still enjoying sex), so... it's great that it does that for men too.

The kind of men who pressure women into sex aren't likely to be beneficiaries, really. They're not the sort of man I'd ever choose for casual sex.

Pardon?

I do think that those men who take themselves out of the “father” pool, don’t want to be and shouldn’t be fathers.

So it’s a good thing that they’re made unavailable, surely we don’t have to have kids with them anyway.

What I find interesting is a lot of the main contraceptives are for women to take and pump synthetic hormones into their bodies whilst enduring weight gain, mood swings, headaches etc.

And then men complain they don't like the feel of condoms . I doubt many men would put up with the side effects of hormonal contraception

What about the women who choose to take hormonal contraceptives, because they too don’t like condoms?

Not everything is male choice.

Actually, I believe so.

To the ancients, 'freedom' meant to train oneself to be liberated from their baser instincts

Now it means just freedom to shag and consume. And anything that interferes with that is bad.

Sex is dangerous and we have a very bizarre and illogical relationship with it in the West today. Its incoherent.

Why is sex dangerous?

What's wrong with having the freedom to have sex?

Why is consent so important in sexual situations?

You're not answering the questions. I'm not talking about rape or sexual assault, both of which can happen if you're married, unmarried, promiscuous or a virgin.

Why is sex dangerous? What's wrong with the freedom to have sex?

I was wondering how long it would be before the batshit came out.

Believe sex is dangerous if you want to - you are free not to have it, just as we are free to have it - but please don't call it feminism or cloak it in concern for women's liberation.

Madness.

This isn’t ancient times, it’s 2025.

The opposite of shagging about isn’t bad, it’s monogamy - which lots of people do.

It’s about having the freedom of choice to do either, which is a positive thing to have.

@SleeplessInWherever I took the pill at 17 because that's what you did. My doctor said it would help with period cramps, protect against pregnancy and I would know when my period was.

Nothing else was explained . I had no idea what it was doing to my body.

Obviously women have a choice and that is a positive thing but I doubt men would choose to take artificial hormones which can cause side effects purely to prevent pregnancy.

Now it means freedom of choice. Your choice is to abstain, mine may be different and we are both free to follow our beliefs. Someone's expectations have no bearing on my choices. They are free to adjust them or remove themselves from my life and my dating pool.

I think you over estimate how autonomous our choices are

Who are you to deprive me of my choice to choose my own feminism

If you want to have a sensible debate, please do me a favour and expand on your points. Don't just give me nebulous soundbites.

That’s fair enough.

I went on it at 32 having had the (also hormonal) coil removed, with all of the information available to me - because I don’t like condoms and don’t want babies.

It doesn’t matter to me if a hypothetical man would do the same thing, because my decision making ends at what I’d do with my own body, not theirs.

Well there we have it. Lol.

Probably don't need to engage with this person any longer since they're stuck in some sex shamed religious hole.

Women like sex, contraception means we can have it without the worry of being pregnant and having to raise a kid. You think that benefits men more then you're simply denying that women can enjoy sex as much as men. Or you believe women should be 'punished' by becoming mothers because you think women can only be mothers or whores. Neither looks good on you.

I'm going to go have some wreckless out of marriage sex, do think of me.