Which secondary school for DD with an EHCP?

[somewhereinsuburbia]

My ten year old daughter is roughly two or three years behind in certain subjects. She has an EHCP due to her difficulties with learning, concentration and low mood/ self esteem. She doesn't have autism (ruled out by assessment) but we are on the long list for ADHD ax. I wonder if there is a mild learning disability there.
The educational psychologist told us that she would do well at a really prestigious state school he knows, as it would build her self esteem and it's known for its good reputation for SEN. My worry is that the typical child that they show in their literature is usually an academic child with autism, who really loves learning and quiet environments.
Just to clarify, I am a single parent and we are on universal credit, although I work full time. We live in a council estate in a diverse area.
My daughter loves rough and tumble, being outdoors, usually plays with the boys or one other ND girl. She is loud and swears (gets off on it almost), can't sit still, can't focus. My worry is that she'll stand out for the wrong reasons in this school. I worry that she'll miss her old friends, although she would likely not go to the same secondary as them anyway.
I wonder if she would be happier at the most local school to us with more of a mixture of kids, in terms of abilities and class. I think she would feel more comfortable, although she doesn't appear to notice her difference to others.
Part of me thinks we should aim high, and if this is the best school we can apply to, then we should, as it's a great opportunity. Part of me worries that she will get lost in the big mainstream inner city comp closest to us. But part of me feels she'll be lonely in the posh school, and could feel her class, academic aptitude and quirkiness more acutely due to the other more 'Hogwarts' type kids.

Any suggestions?

I think you need to speak to both schools, ideally the SENCO, and ask questions that directly relate to your daughter, like, what's your provision for children working 2 years behind expectations?, how do you help children who need a lot of movement?, what's you policy for kids whose behaviours, while due to SEN, can be disruptive to others? You're making quite a lot of assumptions about the "nice" school and its intake.

Also, have you looked at every school, including specialist and independent provisions in your area? I think you need to get to know both schools better, but if your impressions are correct, neither might be a great fit.

Also, you'll probably get better advice on the special needs/SEN boards

As well as @BusMumsHoliday's sensible advice, there's the not inconsiderable task of persuading the LA to name the school you want, and organising a decent transition, so definitely do your research and speak to other SEN parents locally about their experiences.

Firstly if you have had an EP assessment for her EHCP the cognitive assessment should outline her level of learning needs. If this wasn’t explained to you at the time you can ask the SENCO for clarification.
Please make appointments to visit both schools and see the SENCO and SEN dept. I would be honest about your concerns. The big open evenings are overwhelming with queues to see the SENCO.
Take a list of questions with you and see how you feel about the reaction or replies.
As previous poster has said explore your options. Specialist provision or a unit in mainstream will be an LA panel decision.
If they can meet her needs you should be able to name your secondary with her EHCP. Consider proximity too and how she will get there.

Speak to other parents if you can to find out their experiences. I’d also find out about Transition arrangements. Good luck.

I would echo others - really you need to go to the schools, meet the sencos and talk to them about what they can offer and how they manage transitions. The sencos in the school we looked at were happy to meet outside the open evenings. Our ds came along so got a feeling for the school during the school day. I would also talk to other parents about their experience. I wouldn't assume anything based on what you think the intake will be like.

Thanks all! I think the open evenings will be key.
The EP seemed to think she was bright but not able to focus on the tasks they set. I think they just say that to reassure us parents. But I want realistic; she isn't progressing, why is that?

Don’t just go to the generic open evenings. Phone the school and ask for the SENCO to call you. Explain that your DD has an EHCP and that you are considering asking for their school to be named. Ask for a face to face meeting and also send a copy of the EHCP as it currently stands, and have a honest conversation. The reaction you get face to face will tell you a lot about how supportive the school is with SEN that present the way that your DDs do.

I guess you need to know whether she will even be offered a place there before you worry about whether to accept it!

Visit the schools on a typical day if you can. Arrange a meeting with the SENCos who will be able to give you information about their provision for children with SEND.

It’s not unreasonable to think that there are some barriers to learning, as she is two or three years behind her peer group. What is important, is what the schools can and plan to do, to reduce those barriers and help her to progress at her own pace.

Did the EP indicate in the report what was needed to help her make progress? You should have some strategies indicated that you could show to the SENCos, who would be able to advise how they can adapt for her learning style.

@DozyDorito is right. You’ll know, from their response whether they will make proper provision to meet your daughter’s needs. They should be able to deduce from the EHCP what will be required, if it’s tightly written.

SEN mum here. Go for the best school in the area that you can get her into. My reasoning is that for SEN, having a peer group who model the behaviour you’d expect to see in a top performing school will help enormously with social functioning. In their teens, peers are everything, and if their peers are the kids of people who have invested emotionally in their education, which they’ll have had to do to get them into the super duper state school then theyre likely to model well.

My kids are very naive and vulnerable and whilst their super duper state comp isn’t perfect, their peers are very academically focussed and a bit square, and I’m sure that wouldn’t be the case at the massive comp we live near.

With an EHCP you can name the school of choice and it’s very hard to dislodge that if the school is mainstream.

Also if focus is an issue, look at ADHD and possible meds. They can be life changing. Good luck!

@Rawnotblended yes, she has no behaviour or risk issues that would mean it wouldn't be suitable but equally the nearest comp would be able to meet need too, how do I make that argument?

I’d agree with this but with the caveat that the school needs to be good at inclusive practice. If they are the type to sanction for unmet needs (like children with adhd getting detention for not focusing on their work or forgetting something I don’t mean worrying behaviour being overlooked) then I’d be wary. It’s very hard to know without a thorough knowledge of the school. Other parents with children who have support needs will likely have a good idea of how the school supports all children.

Parental preference. You don’t have to argue it.