Severe imposter syndrome. Please help!

[PitchingLow]

I’m relatively new to an entry level professional role in a new sector. I’m working with very senior managers, and this could open up a lot of opportunities in a few years after putting my career on the back-burner to raise my kids alone following escape from an abusive marriage. This finally feels like ‘my time’.

Only I’m being made miserable and anxious over the worst imposter syndrome I’ve ever experienced. Not only do I feel like an idiot and not up to the task, I’m convinced everyone thinks it too and finds me irritating. I have to work a lot on my own initiative but I’m so worried about making a mistake that I avoid tasks. I’m overthinking and second guessing everything which is not only exhausting but conversely leads to more mistakes.

Everyone is so accomplished and I feel out of place by comparison. They’re all lovely but it’s very fast paced with a culture of being forthright and a little blunt with each other (which I prefer but is a bit of a culture shock). I’m torn between asking colleagues for the info I need and trying not to bother everyone. I can’t relax and just be myself and I’m masking really heavily. I’m mentally exhausted from trying to learn all the info to carry out my role, the big workload and long hours, even deciding what to wear causes huge anxiety! But I can’t switch off when I finish and spend evenings trying to cram more info.

How on earth do you get over this level of imposter syndrome? I’m so worried about fucking this up for myself!

You need to remember that everyone at some point has been new to a role - including your work colleagues.

That it's normal in a new job to feel somewhat anxious and "out of your depth".

Some people may advise "fake it till you make it" but I would strongly suggest otherwise.

In management roles I've always been more impressed by people who understand the limits of their own understanding and experience and seek guidance appropriately.

One of the most annoying situations is clearing up a mess because someone has been over confident or reluctant to ask for support.

Remember there is a big difference between asking "how do I best do/achieve xyz" once and taking notes they can refer back to and someone asking the same questions over and over again.

You say the culture is somewhat blunt, well use that. Be blunt in return by saying "I need to do xyz but it's the first time and I'd be grateful if I can shadow someone else doing this task or a person to walk me through it so I can take notes and do it to a high standard".

If you actually want to impress then you can offer to document these process/notes so they can be used by the next new starter to the business/role.

Carry a notebook with you to jot down tips, explanations as you go along through the day.

Finally don't sweat the small stuff. As long as people are not dressed totally inappropriately I would not even remember what they wore to work yesterday or the day before.

They appointed you so obviously think that you are capable of undertaking the role.
Try to look confident even if you don’t feel it. Don't be afraid to ask for help, We all need to learn and start somewhere.

Have you heard of this book?

www.amazon.co.uk/Imposter-Cure-mind-trap-imposter-syndrome/dp/1783253061