To go out with friends the weekend of DH birthday week

[BlingBlingB]

DH has a milestone birthday coming up which is on a weekday. On the day itself he will have lots of presents, a family meal out, a special cake and many treats. On the Saturday it is my friends birthday and I’ve been invited out for the day with her and a few friends. Is it shitty for me to go out for the day on the Saturday (DH would look after our children) or should I cancel? We have no plans on the weekend, everything is happening on the day itself? Or should I be home with him and the children as it’s his birthday “week?”

There really isn’t such a thing as a birthday week. He’s having his do on the day and unless he has already said he wants to extend plans then spend time with your friend on her actual birthday.

If I use the term 'birthday week' I definitely do it tongue in cheek because I'm aware it makes me sound like a total twat 😂

This is one of those situations where I don't even slightly understand the dilemma. You are not asking to go out on his birthday. You are not suggesting anything that even slightly impinges on his birthday. It is someone else's birthday on a different day. A day where you and your DH have no plans.

Of course you're not being unreasonable.

What does he think? If you've got no plans, I can't see a problem

All of this! Go out with your friends.

Go out for your friends birthday. It's not his birthday on the Saturday, and you're celebrating his on the actual day. Go. Have fun!

Why not ask him?

It wouldn't bother me, because honestly being home alone building some lego sounds like an absolutely perfect birthday weekend.

DP on the other hand likes a big deal made of her birthday so I tend to try and keep both weekends free.

🤣😂 Fair enough! I know there are people out there who use it without a sense of irony! Go and have fun!

There is no such thing as a birthday week, and he hasn't organised anything birthday related with others?

Off out you pop!

For my 40th I had a birthday month 😂

Surely this is one where you agree together the best option? So, for example, if this was us and we were not planning any additional big birthday activities for the weekend, it would be no problem but the basic assumption would be that the person whose birthday it is gets to make the final decision.

It's a day not a week.

the clue is in it's name. Birthday

Just ask him if he minds?

How far are we going to take it. Should I stay home for an entire birthday month? Should I expect to be the centre of everyone's attention for a whole year of my milestone birthday? A birthday is a day. You either celebrate it on the day or you make celebration plans for the closest weekend. Since you are having a party on the day of his birth, that's done and dusted.

See your username reflects how I feel about the concept of a birthday month!!

Not unless the thread is late and dh is Rod Stewart are you being unreasonable!!
Can't believe he's 80!!

I’d just ask DH if he was hoping to do anything on that day and say why. Surely he can tell you if it bothers him.

In our family we would do something on the day and on the nearest weekend, so I would check with DH before agreeing, especially as it's a big birthday (but we would be having something big and you'd know about it).

I am a fan of a birthday season myself, but if he's not likely to want to make firm plans why don't you suggest something for the weekend before, dinner somewhere he likes, if you want to make more of a fuss of it? Then go out with your mates the weekend after, best of both worlds.

If I was having a birthday, especially a big one, I’d definitely want to do something special at the weekend or at least have a lie in, coffee in bed, etc. even if my actual birthday was during the week.

I think it’s fine as long as it doesn’t conflict with your Dh doing anything for his birthday that he’d like to do. For example, he might want to see friends or family or have a day to relax, even if you have nothing planned.

Excuse you all, it's my Birthday Year 😉

I genuinely don't understand....you're celebrating his birthday on his birthday, why would it be a problem to go out days later?

Unless there are specific birthday plans for his birthday made for that day I don’t see a problem.
My dh is very low key about his birthday so wouldn’t give a toss. Neither would I if I hadn’t already booked to do some thing.

Is this one of those weird Mn ‘rules’? It’s rude to celebrate anyone else’s birthday that falls within a week of your spouse’s, and you should definitely never get married in the same year as a friend of sibling, or on a family member’s birthday or anniversary, or announce your engagement or pregnancy within x number of weeks of theirs as it ‘steals their thunder’?

This.