Is it cheeky to clean someone's stuff without asking?

[Spongebob35]

Say if you were in someone's house (excluding maybe your partner, child etc) would you clean something without asking?
Not talking about an obvious spillage or something like that, but would you clean something that looked dusty or unclean in any way without the permission or acknowledgement of the homeowner?

Just asking as whilst asked to keep an eye on my pet, a friend cleaned kitchen items for me as she thought they looked dirty (they werent) and they weren't left anywhere near the sink.

depends how filthy / disgusting they were

It's rude, yes unless there is a back story that you know someone is ill etc. and so is struggling to do things themselves.

No that would be weird, unless they needed to use them.

Nope, it's rude and makes it apparent you are passing judgement.

It was pans, they were on top of the stove in a pile, I.e. smaller pans inside larger ones. They were cleaned thoroughly after their last use, maybe it's because they were on the stove that this person decided they needed cleaning.

No I wouldn't. To me it's intrusive and I would absolutely hate it if someone did this in my home. I don't mind if others say it's kind of being helpful. From my point of view it's inherently passing judgement, however mild.

Did it have food remains on it? I would probably clean up something like that to deter flies or the pet eating it. If it was dusting an ornament or something then no i wouldn’t.

How did you know your friend cleaned them?

If they weren't dirty, your friend cleaning them shouldn't have made any difference to their appearance. So you wouldn't know they'd been cleaned.

Or did your friend tell you that they cleaned some perfectly clean pans, which just seems a bit bonkers.

Obviously you and your friend have different standards. I’d interpret it as them trying to be helpful.

If they were pet sitting, were you on holiday? If you were away for a even a few days I can see that they might have just thought "well she won't want to come back to pans that have been dirty for a few days, I'll give them a quick clean".

I think that's different to, for example, cleaning your bathroom, because pans get dirty and you don't want to leave them a few days, but cleaning a bathroom comes with more of an element of judging someone's levels of cleanliness.

I know you're saying the pans were clean, but she clearly thought they weren't, so I think her thought process was trying to be nice and actually I don't think that doing pans is intrusive.

Honestly there was no food in them, I wouldn't leave it out like that as I know it can attract flies, mice etc. And I know she cleaned them as they were all on the draining board when I got back.

They were in a pile, they weren't even lying around etc. But I'll try to forget it and just say she was trying to be nice.

Some of the washed pans have never even been used. I haven't lived here for long and haven't owned that set for long. As I say I know they were washed as they were moved.

I really think you’re overthinking this!

I would assume a load of pans sat on the stove had been used and were needing washing. Are you saying your pans live sat out on the hob rather than hanging somewhere or in a cupboard?

Maybe i am overthinking but I like to think I'm a clean person, I would never ever leave dirty pans lying around especially if know someone's coming. I cleaned from top to bottom before she came, as I say the pans were stacked inside of each other so she'd have to have gone through them all to see if she thought they were dirty or not.

They were stacked in a pile, they weren't each on a stove, but I'll be keeping them in a cupboard from now on to avoid this.

I'd love it if someone wanted to clean my house. I'd give them a list.

No, I would never clean someone’s stuff. It’s a passive aggressive way of saying your house is dirty.

I had my dm staying. She decided my under sink cupboard needed cleaning (it didn’t) and re-arranged everything. I had re-rearrange everything to how I use it afterwards.

Not the same as your situation but when I looked after my grandkids last time I cleaned up and got the kids to put their washing away. I did debate with myself whether it was a good idea but it was really unclean and untidy and has been for so long that I think she was overwhelmed by it and couldn’t seem to address it.

She seemed very grateful but I was worried that she’d be offended (which is why I got the kids involved too like it was a shared activity if that makes sense).

Not rude per se I just would find it weird and neurotic and it would make me think they were a complete control freak.

No I wouldn't clean things but in this instance she probably assumed you forgot to clean the pans before leaving because of their positioning and was helping you out because it would be pretty grim to leave them unwashed if you had forgotten in your haste to leave.

Your pet sitter friend from the other thread that you are complaining about?

She obviously thought the pans were left dirty and so tried to be helpful by washing them up for you. I would think she was trying to be kind and thought you'd not want to come back to dirty pans.

I'd take it as a kind gesture that was well meant.

Yes most likely. My clean pans are either in the cupboard or on the draining board.