Dh calling multiple times a day?

[PinkLeopard8]

This is just light-hearted really, please no one take it super seriously 🤣

My husband is away on a course for 6 nights, he has been gone for 4 days so far and has called me at least 4 times a day, every day. Aibu to think this is a bit unnecessary? 🙈 Don't get me wrong it's nice that he misses me and wants to check in on me and the kids, but I would be happy to talk once a day or every couple of days. Or even just a text at the end of the day.

Am I just a Grinch or do you all talk to your partners constantly? He is the same when he is here bless him, he wants to spend every evening together etc. I am grateful to have a partner who cares about me and I do him, I'm just someone who is comfortable in my own company too.

Urgh I would find this so stifling. It’s as if he needs his mum. Gross.

Whats he like normally is he a real homebody/lacking independence?

That’s a bit much op. Mine goes away a lot. Sometimes he rings me once a day, sometimes a lot less. Sometimes I’ll just get sent a photo of an ice cream, or an interesting building. When he rings to chat I’m invariably in the middle of something, and end up being a bit short with him, poor bugger.

He tried to ring me today but my phone was accidentally on silent so I missed it. He followed up with a WhatsApp saying “I’ve paid the tax bill.” I didn’t reply, because frankly that was plumbing the depths of boringness.

Mine does this when l have a day off -drives me mad - like l am sitting around waiting for him to call!

I'm in the 'god what now?' camp.

I must admit this sounds quite normal to me. When my husband is away with work he will call in the morning to check in on the kids and me. He calls me at lunchtime everyday anyway, so nothing unusual there. He will then call in the evening to chat to the kids and will call before bed to say good night.

My H and I text frequently. Always have. Not excessively, just a few times if we’re away. He doesn’t smother me with his presence and demands on my time when we’re home though. Ick.

Blimey I’d find that stifling and would be annoyed at the neediness personally!
If dh or I are away it’s a text to say we’ve landed out and inbound and that’s about it. Even when we had small kids it was expected that the person who was away (for whatever reason) was away from the humdrum of home. Obviously if there was an emergency and we needed to get home then call but it never happened.

If he's calling four times during a day when he's supposed to doing a course, he's not paying it proper attention. Which makes me wonder whether this crosses from cute but annoying into possessive / controlling. If you didn't pick up, how would he take it? You said he likes to spend every evening together, so is he ok about you going out with friends etc?

Blimey, I would just stop answering after the first call. What on earth does he find to talk about? I would find it suffocating and creepy, and I'd tell him that too.

Thanks for the replies. An interesting mix.
Regarding the ones wondering if he is okay on his course, he is absolutely fine! It is a course he chose to go on (still related to his work) but yeah, he's happy in his air b and b getting some peace away from the kids doing his own thing, catching up on work admin around the course.
This is just what he is like, he is regularly on the phone, if not with me, then with other people, he talks A LOT.

We live in the countryside where the phone signal is shocking and he will often call me when driving for no reason other than to tell me his latest idea about something, but the signal will mean that the call cuts in and out constantly and I find it SO annoying. I've got four kids I'm trying to look after and home educate. 🤣 I've told him not to call me when just driving locally for no reason, but he does it anyway.

Regarding spending every evening together, it was good to see that some other couples would find this stifling. I've really enjoyed having some time to myself of an evening whilst he has been away, so whilst I'm looking forward to seeing him when he is back, I'm going to make a big effort to make a boundary that I take one evening a week where I read my kindle or do some art so he gets used to us doing things separately but in the same space.

I couldn't do it. Whether that's his intention or not, I would feel controlled.
There would be a short but serious conversation had and if he didn't back off then I would back out.

And I DO like talking a lot in relationships! But not necessarily when someone whistles me over 4 times a day - that doesn't leave any space to make my own decision when to call.

It's a bit like sex within a relationship - all pleasurable and enjoyable - but when someone is constantly pawing at me and I'm definitely getting it daily (or twice), then eventually there is no space for desire or interest to build, no space to properly, really want it... And I just get fed up and bored!

He's not an eight-year-old on his first sleepover!

I'm genuinely interested in what you find to talk about?

You see, this is the bit I toil with. What are you talking about? There can't be that many newsworthy events taking place throughout the day.

So glad I did courses etc before the tether of mobiles etc! A quick call to I've arrived in one piece, and that would be it!

Mostly just ideas he has had about what to do with his business (he is self employed), or just generally how he is, what's been going on. We have been married for over a decade and haven't ran out of things to say yet.
He is fairly impulsive so if he sees something and it reminds him of something else, even if it's small instead of just thinking about it, he will call me and tell me eg a number plate that has some sort of combination of numbers and letters of some vague significance. 🤷‍♀️😅
I was hesitant to write this response because I feel it's very outing to anyone who might know us giving the details I just have about him and my username. 🙈

This is so sweet ❤️

I wouldn't be answering calls that came in that often.

I wouldn't want him around every evening either. He'd need to find a hobby or interest or some volunteering or I don't think we'd survive.

Suggest he volunteers for one of the Befriending Services for older people that are lonely - he could phone them and talk to people who crave company a few times a week instead.

No me neither. That sort of contact is sweet in a way but also would be better for you in a text or WhatsApp that you could read when your kids are doing a lesson or similar.

I've known a few men who do this thing of calling for a 'chat' while nominally engaged in something else like driving or work. It generally means they are not fully engaged by whatever they're doing, probably because it's a bit boring, and they decide they'd like to talk at you while they do it. In this scenario they just assume that you'll be available and happy to listen and nod and make appreciative noises, and won't find it inconvenient or have anything more urgent to do.

In short, it's classic Man Wants To Talk About Himself mode so my approach has been to cut it short and not pick up all the calls at all.