How to stay out of stressful situations?

[HardyTurtle]

It feels like life is full of unavoidable stress - whether it’s work, relationships, or just everyday responsibilities. I sometimes wonder if it’s even possible to truly avoid stressful situations altogether or if the focus should just be on managing stress when it comes up.

Do you think it’s realistic to live a life that minimises stress or is it just something we all have to deal with? If you’ve found ways to avoid stress or keep it at bay, I’d love to hear your thoughts.

I think a lot of it is mindset. Real life happens to everyone, and is unavoidable. Having a pragmatic attitude of what can be done to fix this situation, and not dwelling on the negatives of hassle/expense etc.

If certain people or scenarios continue to raise your blood pressure, then really evaluate why that is? And how much you need to continue with it.

Yes you can minimise stress -

But you also need coping mechanisms - because sone stuff in life is stressful - divorce, ill health, job trouble so you might as well practise

that usually includes building in space and downtime for yourself - exercise and getting outside are key as well as one thing you enjoy ( playing a tune on a guitar, watching a particular program, reading a book)

To get space /time you need to get rid of stuff that can cause stress but really isn't important in life - ironing, anything beyond the minimum in house clean and tidy standards ( channel your inner man ) , cut lifts/ clubs for kids if that's the only way you get something too

Eat really well - then you praise yourself for achieving something really important

Of course it’s not possible to avoid stressful situations altogether.

What is possible:

• identifying which situations feel unendurable to you and working out how to change them
• finding ways to regulate your emotions and manage stress
• seeking professional help (medical, psychological, etc)
• outsourcing tasks that feel overwhelming if you can
• exploring whether there are areas where you can lower your expectations of yourself / others

How is all this stress showing up for you, OP?

Good question. I think the stress shows up in a few ways - feeling overwhelmed, finding it hard to switch off after work and sometimes even physical symptoms like headaches or poor sleep. It’s not constant, but when it hits, it feels hard to manage. That’s why I’m wondering if it’s possible to avoid stress in the first place or if it’s more about learning how to deal with it when it comes.

Having established that some stress is inevitable, I do think studying the Stoics is useful. Accepting that there’s loads of stuff completely outside your control, and you just have to accept that.

Also, understanding the difference between boundaries and being controlling. Whenever I tried to impose boundaries on XH and The Revolting ILs, I was told I was being controlling, but I wasn’t. Boundaries are about what you will/won’t do/go/say/eat/drink/spend time with. Controlling behaviour is when you’re telling other people what they should be doing etc. Big difference.

Finally, you have to give fewer fucks about everything and everyone.