Cons at the end. Multiple of my friends says he is ab.sivebut I don't know what to believe anymore. WE ARE NO CONTACT NOW and hes moved states over.
So me and this ex has been off and on for 3 years. He ended up breaking up with me the last time because he was upset that I didn't tell him that the guy said he would grape emojime. So we ended up breaking up the same day.
Mind you that happened in Oct last year. But I've still been seeing him around and anytime I talk to a guy he somehow found out and approaches them(he doesn't know them)
Ima call my friend a and ex b)[each paragraph is a different day]
So I talked to my friend and he said that Saturday. B was on the group call(they were playing the game together) and apparently b said he misses me???(and A was like i just ain't tell you) and A also said that B asked if they talk to me (and he also said that he got quiet cuz he knows how b is crazy)
Idk. And that he keeps bringing up us having a three some. And he said that he's sorry and he regrets how he treated me. And how he left and he said that he tried to work it out between us. And he also said that he regretted not working things out between us and that if he could go back and he would but that he wouldn't change. And also that the thing he regrets most is leaving this state.(and A basically told him that he feels sorry for himself)
And when about the three some that some other guy said me too and B got mad and said no just him((and A also told me that B keeps talking about me and his gf always laughs it off thinking he's talking about her))
And that B keeps asking him would he do so and so with me and all that(basically trying to find out if we would date) and had him ask me if I would date A
And apparently B made a joke about kidnapping me(a dead swears he wasnt joking he was dead freaking serious) (and said he almost did before and the whole plan and thing) and told A I live in so and so town???? AND an address. I never told him that? (And apparently he was supposed to come back fromThanksgiving break from where he is now idk if he did or not)
And the whole plan was that since at the time I was doing filming for a team. And that since I would stay after school.That he would be like wanna walk to the store with me. And said that he wouldve brought a car. And then otw he would me. (He told A that since he can kinda drive it would've worked out) And also said that since I trusted him it would've worked.
And that he would definitely do it if given the chance again
Then a said that B girlfriend said that he's only coming back to see me. And A asked B if he actually liked me and all that. And he said yea and also admitted that he was retarded.
And that he talks about me a lot and mostly good. But he once called me a loser?.?
I loved him and he used that love to control me and make me fear him. I always did what he wanted and he would always eventually get his way. No matter what it was. If he didn't want me to talk to this friend,not go to this place, to stop amd make myself agree with him, to suck up to him. He knew all he had to do was push me or choke me out and he would get his way. If he wanted to do something "smexy" and I wasn't in the mood he would say things to put me down and make me feel guilty. That I owed him and that i was just being a baby about not wanting to do it. Amd why didn’t i not want him to make me feel good? And he would ask persistently why not. Then when i would finally say yes he would ask me at least two times if i was sure. for some reason that i still dont know. That felt like a test. That he wouldve been mad had i said noSometimes if he was in the mood and I wasn't he would choke me and kiss me until I would end up saying yes. And then praise me for "giving in to what I wanted" (as in me)
And I know for a FACT that he thought/thinks he ha(d/s) ownership over me. As even when we weren't together he would slay slick stuff like "You belong to me", "You're mine" or he even straight up said it.(He would say it when we were and wasn't together. And when we werent it still had the feeling of that he owned me. He obviously thought that and wanted me to "listen to him"(basically obey him)and would put it off as he just wanted to protect me and keep me safe. And if I didn't listen to him he would get mad and it would be "consequences")
I just find it crazy that he would say that he almost kidnapped me?!!!! And that he would do it again if given the chance. And kind you were 17. So I feel like that makes it a slight tad worse to have those thoughts at such age. And what messes with me most is that he said it would work because I trusted him.
So recently he moved away to another state but apparently him and my friend(that he thought i was dating) talk to eachother and play the game. It didn't start off bad my friend told me that my ex said he missed me, asked my friend if we were talkinhg and simple things like that. But then it got a bit weird he asked and kept persisting if he would have a 3some with him and me. And also said he said that he's sorry and he regrets how he treated me. And how he left and he said that he tried to work it out between us. And he also said that he regretted not working things out between us and that if he could go back and he would but that he wouldn't change. And also that the thing he regrets most is leaving this state.And my friend insisted that he keeps asking about me and my friend and that my ex "loves" me.in some sick way? Then my friend tells me that my ex told him about how he wanted to and almost kidnapped me and if how he was given thr chance again he would do it. The plan was that since I filmed for the team he was on he was going to ask me if I wanted to walk to the store. And when we did he would bring a car since "he kinda knows how to drive" and so and so. And that said plan would work because I trusted him. And he told my friend what town i live in ?which is not the same town as the school and I never told him) and was about to say an address. Now I have text proof of my ex saying it but he claims now that it was a joke. And I don't know what to do. Here how the convo went between him and my friend:
My friend: your rember your ex with the hand slapping over head emoji
Ex:Aww yee wht abt her
Friend:
First off did i not have you on block and did
you not talk abt her every time we got on the dam game and was like you was gonna kid nap her
Ex"
Yea btu was just. joking really don't care
about it no more
Friend:
You still can't spellwith the hand slapping over head emoji
[ ] CONS
[ ] Made a fake account to call me a bitch and say I used him for sex
[ ] Anytime I had ANY conversation with a guy he would stand there and watch and he would accuse me of cheating
[ ] Made me feel like i Had to apologize for going to sleep
[ ] He stalked me
[ ] Said he almost kidnapped me and he still would do it given the chance(he had a plan and everything)
[ ] Said it would work because I trusted him
[ ] When we weren't talking he had his friend become closer to me and watch me and give him info about me (thought the guy was actually my friend this went on for weeks before I found out)
[ ] When we thought I was tk he didn't claim it until someone else tried to
[ ] And admitted that he wanted to protect me (be captain save a hoe)
[ ] Broke up with me because a guy said he would rpe me
[ ] Grabbed me harshly when/ if I tried to walk off?
[ ] When me him and my friend was talking and me and him were comparing hand sizes and he said he could knock me out if he wanted to?
(as a joke)The story behind that: me, him and my friend were talking and she told him how my baby brother pucnched me in the jaw because she told him to(she didnt think he would do it) and he was like he would to if he got mad enough amd wanted to but it would be a ko cuz his hands are so big(compared to mine)
[ ] Though(t) of me as something to obtain instead of a person. And constantly said I was "his" and belonged to him. And even would say it when we werent together
[ ] Told people that we were talking/ together when we wasn't
[ ] Sometimes would choke me if I kept disagreeing him, or if i wouldn't listen and he wanted me to shut up, or if he really wanted me to listen to him (sometimes it was kinky, sometimes it's when I wouldn't listen and he wanted me to shut up or when he wanted me to listen to what he said or i kept dissagring with him. And sometimes it was gentle like him basically holding his hand there. But sometimes it was forceful like anger.)
[ ] would choke me until I was about(very close) to pass out then stop.
[ ] Almost killed me a few times from that. (he would keep doing it until I was obviously struggling and he got his point across)
[ ] Always tried to tell me what to do and not to do and said it was because I was "innocent and too trusting" and that he needed to protect me
[ ] Tried to know all my friends and make sure they were all females or he would talk shit and make me feel guilty. Saying that he's the only male friend I need and why did I want their attention and not his. And would often whisper in my ear threats to beat up the guy until I would eventually stop talking to the guy
[ ] If I had male friends he would become friends with them
[ ] One time when he got mad hit the wall beside me
[ ] With this one friend I had Anytime we would talk about him she would bring up how "quiet" and "submissive" i was around him and said I flinch a lot
[ ] Told me he wanted me completely dependent on him he wanted me to come to him for any and everything(physically, emotionally/ mentally and financially)
[ ] Mightve tried to baby trap me(a lot of hiss friends swear to it)
[ ] When I got out of wrestling practice and called him. Because at that time we would call and talk. And when I did he ended up starting an argument and kept saying that I was talking bad about him and spreading rumors. And I told him that I didn't do it(because I didnt) Then it made him even more pissed that he started yelling at me so I ended up yelling back and he cursed me out (BAD) and i cursed back but not at him just at him blaming me and that he wouldnt belive me even though ive never been able to bring myself to do or say anything bad about him which he knew
[ ] And when we talked after that I asked him do you still think I was talking bad about you? And he told me no he found out who did it and "handled it". (And at first he wouldnt tell me who did it. It ended up being noah)And said that he wasn't apologizing because he was sick of always apologizing to people and saying sorry?
[ ] Told my friend that he regretted not working things out between us and that if he could go back he would but that he wouldn't change.
[ ] He would say/do things to “break me and fix me” (his friend words not mine) and I thought so but never really thought into it. He would sometimes say slightly mean things/ something he KNEW would make me overthink but was quick to say something to make me feel better (praise me basically) or when he would choke me to that almost passed out extent he would always kiss me or say something. Making sure I would respond (because my head would get dizzy, fuzzy and blank so he would wait until that passed)
[ ] When I would fall asleep and not tell him or if he got upset at something I said/did he would not talk to me until I apologized
[ ] when people were around and asked me things I always looked at matthew for his response. Basically his permission. And depending on his reaction would be my answer to that person.(this is because if I didn't he would get upset and it sometimes eventually got physical)
[ ] he kissed a girl that a lot of people say looks exactly like me and after we dated he mostly only talked to darkskins(before he only talked to lightskins)
[ ] Stalked me to the point he planned tk kidnapp me and knew what town i live in and told my friend he also knows my address (and was going to say it but my friend stopped him)shocked emoji
[ ] When he got mad over text he would use the mad emoji and text in all caps "TELL ME NOW"
[ ] Texting and mid convo of me saying I was taller than him he said i wanna tie you up??????
[ ] When I was thinking about breaking up with him he said idk what I would do to myself/others if you left me.(because he said he couldn't live without me)he meant like harm well i stayed and he broke up with me not soon after thatthumbs down emoji
[ ] Asked 2 of my friends (on different occasions) for a threesome behind my back and said i wouldnt mind/care and would go for it
[ ] When we went to Dave and busters he also got upset/jealous when I was talking to a little kid (I had on a birthday slash and me and the kid were talking about my birthday and they said i was pretty and he stood behindme looking between me and the kid mad.)
[ ] If he wanted to do something "smexy" and I wasn't in the mood he would say things to put me down and make me feel guilty. That I owed him and that i was just being a baby about not wanting to do it. Amd why didn’t i not want him to make me feel good? And he would ask persistently why not. Then when i would finally say yes he would ask me at least two times if i was sure. for some reason that i still dont know. That felt like a test. That he wouldve been mad had i said noSometimes if he was in the mood and I wasn't he would choke me and kiss me until I would end up saying yes. And then praise me for "giving in to what I wanted" (as in me)
[ ] Used to tell me to stfu or else(i belive he wouldve put his hands on me but he never outright said it)
I am tired of thinking about him and talking about him and he's not even here anymoreit feels like all i talk to my friends about and I feel bad about it It felt like my whole life centered around him but at the time I had nobody to talk to because I didnt have many friends and I didn't get more because he convinced me it was bad and the people I did talk to was his friends and the few friends I did have turned out to be his friends too because he would become friends with them because he knew I was friends with him. And I knew a fre of them were but not most. That's why I was surprised when I told someone I thought was my friend that I was considering breaking up with him and he found out. That's when he said the whole he would kys or hurt others if i did.
And yeah thats itthumbs up emoji lots of fake and sx accounts keep looking at my ig page especially on my storys for the last few months so in thinking of making my ig private or something idk
It feels like since i didn't talk about it or deal with it then that im trying to do it now but don't know how. I keep thinking about the kidnapping thing, how he said he would hit me if he got mad enough and how many times before that I would see when he got mad how he would step to me with his hands balled up and i didn't know if he was going to ht me or choke me like hes done before. And all the times he would tell ne to stfu or else. So much has happened in the 3 years. And now that it's over idk