Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be irritated when I invite people

26 replies

WinkyWinkola · 07/05/2008 07:06

to come and visit for the weekend they tell me they'll be arriving on Friday lunchtime and leaving on Monday lunchtime?

They're nice-but-dull people and I'd rather they didn't presume they could stay that long. That's not the weekend. The weekend is Friday evening until Sunday afternoon, surely?

OP posts:
fym · 07/05/2008 07:09

depends - on bank holiday weekend I would assume Fri evening to Monday..... wouldn't pitch up friday lunchtime though

AbbeyA · 07/05/2008 07:14

I wouldn't have said the weekend-I would have been precise, on a Bank Holiday weekend, if I wanted the Monday free.

Original poster
WinkyWinkola · 07/05/2008 07:18

Not a bank holiday weekend. A normal weekend.

OP posts:
stuffitall · 07/05/2008 07:28

Yanbu and it's a bit odd if Monday is a normal working day. Hope you have a nice time anyway and the irritation doesn't ruin a lovely four days..

belgo · 07/05/2008 07:34

You should have specified exactly what days you wanted them to visit. I'm sure they'd be very embarrassed if they knew you felt this way about them staying one extra night...

How far are they travelling? How are they travelling? Maybe it makes a lot more sense to stay that one extra night.

Original poster
WinkyWinkola · 07/05/2008 07:48

I'd've thought using the words 'the weekend' was really quite specific enough? Or is Monday part of the weekend now and I'm not aware of it?

OP posts:
belgo · 07/05/2008 07:51

It all depends on how far they are travelling, and how they are travelling. If they are travelling by train or aeroplane it may be that it's far cheaper to return on the monday.

belgo · 07/05/2008 07:52

and if they have far o drive then they may prefer to travel during the day on the monday.

fryalot · 07/05/2008 07:54

If it's a bank holiday weekend, then I think it's safe to assume that Monday is part of the weekend.

If not, tell them they have to leave on the Sunday, Monday being a working day and all.

Next time, don't invite them

MotherOfGirls · 07/05/2008 07:54

I think if they had wanted to stay beyond 'the weekend' (i.e. into Monday) it would have been polite to ask. You could then have said you had other plans for the Monday if you didn't want them that long.

My bugbear is people coming to stay and not saying when they are going to leave. I love having people to visit, but I like to know when they are leaving too. This is partly so I can make sure I have enough food in the house to see us through until they leave and partly because a tiny part of me is always looking forward to having my house back. Does that make me a bad person?

stuffitall · 07/05/2008 07:54

I think if it's a normal working day the natural thing would be to say (well i would say) do you mind if we stay over until the Monday because of (xyz) don't worry we'll be out of your hair early etc etc. Because it is unusual.

BreeVanderCampLGJ · 07/05/2008 07:55

Visitors and fish, stink after two days.

stuffitall · 07/05/2008 07:55

No mog-- it's lovely when they come, and it's lovely when they go

AbbeyA · 07/05/2008 12:55

Sorry-I assumed that if they stayed until Monday it would have been Bank Holiday. On a normal weekend I would expect them to go on Sunday.

TheDuchessOfNorksBride · 07/05/2008 13:04

Weekend visitors should clear off before 4pm on Sunday. Exceptions are fine if they're fitting us in around flights.

nametaken · 07/05/2008 13:05

Just be specific next time.

cupsoftea · 07/05/2008 13:56

weekend is sat to sun for me anything else is a long weekend

alicet · 07/05/2008 13:58

YANBU. I wouldn't presume this without asking first

However it's hardly going to help if you bitch on here is it. Just give them a call and tell them (politely) that they can't stay until Monday as you are working / have other plans. That to you the weekend ends on Sunday and you're sorry that there seems to be a misunderstanding.

Unless of course they have non refundable plane / train tickets which makes this more tricky - then bitch away and don't invite them again without being specific!

Original poster
WinkyWinkola · 07/05/2008 15:17

Blimey, Alice. Can't anyone just vent spleen anymore?

OP posts:
silvercrown · 07/05/2008 15:46

Had a "friend" who I said could stay a couple of days (we have no real room for people and 3 kids, 2 dogs and hubby who has never met her) and she said great she'll come Wed and leave following Monday. I made excuses because didn't want to offend her and she's not been in touch since! I think it's unreasonable for people to push things then get narked when you try and be reasonable but polite.

Alderney · 07/05/2008 16:11

Oh gosh...are you my friend..?? I'm off to my friend's next weekend and I've just told her today that I'll be arriving Friday lunchtime and I'm leaving sometime Monday afternoon...

If its any consolation thats the cheapest flights I could get and that was unfortunately a factor for me..

where I live, its quite a trek for most people to come (NE Scotland) so I'd expect a weekend to be Friday - Monday

Turniphead1 · 07/05/2008 16:20

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

alicet · 07/05/2008 18:28

Winky sorry just re-read my post. Wasn't meaning to imply that you shouldn't vent - of course you should! As do I frequently!

I was really meaning that there's nothing wrong with just telling them that they were only welcome till Sunday then problem would be solved!

Original poster
WinkyWinkola · 08/05/2008 10:02

Well, it's DH's ex colleague. They're a bit older. No kids. Driving 100 miles.

They're always very kind to our DCs so occasionally we invite them to come and stay.

I just know that by Sunday night, I'm going to be very bored of talking about silicone baking trays, how many lesbians live in their street. I'll be weary and irritable. I'll just have to chip off to bed early but I don't want to because of them! Never mind.

Then the Monday mayhem will start and they'll get trampled underfoot.

OP posts:
Dropdeadfred · 08/05/2008 10:05

why not tell them you have plans for sunday evening?