Give my head a wobble - leaving job

[FrustratedGnat]

I earn around 40k, so does my husband. This is a take home of about £2,500 each. I’ve only just gone back full time so I haven’t earnt this for a while.

I want to leave my job to become self employed. It would be difficult to soft launch whilst still working as I would need permission from my employer. I can’t just do it anyway because if they found out I could surprise loose my job and I could be disciplined by my professional regulator for being dishonest.

Before Christmas I worked 4 days but my work only agreed to that because it was temporary. I really want to be able to spend more time with my 1 and 4 year old especially because the eldest starts school in September and I’ll never get this time back. I never really got over going back to work after maternity leave, my heads not really in my work. I had 9 months off because I only had SMP but it was too soon. Settling baby in nursery was a bit of a shit show. They are settled now and doing well in nursery.

The thing is we haven’t really recovered financially from my maternity leave yet. We got through about 5k of savings which we’ve been trying to build back up but with nursery fees for 2 kids and needing to do some renovations on the house when I first started earning again saving money has been very slow. We have finished the immediate jobs that needed doing on the house.

Our mortgage is £1,100, we spend around another £1,000 on bills, insurance and food combined and then another £1,800 on childcare (that’s with free hours and tax free childcare). We put away £100 a month for car maintenance and whatever’s left pays for anything else, holidays etc.

The most sensible thing would be wait until my eldest is in school and really save some money from the reduced nursery fees before taking the plunge. Then put the youngest in a term time only nursery when they’re 2 and that would be much cheaper.

But I don’t want to do that. I want to leave my job after Easter. Put the children down to 1 or 2 days in the nursery and spend the summer term playing with them and working for myself for around 20 hours a week. Hopefully I could cover the nursery fees with my income. We just won’t have much of a financial cushion for if things go pear shaped or I don’t get any clients.

AIBU to walk away from my 40k job? Or do I just need to put my grown up pants on and suck it up and accept that adults can’t just quit. I just really miss spending time with my kids.

Sorry op, to be clear, I wasn't talking about the money. The amount of hours you'd have to do would be huge. Self employment is hard work, especially at the start. It's not something you could just do 20hrs in.

They need you less as they get older.

Just saying this isn't true. They need you in different ways and obvs teens don't need childcare. But don't underestimate the clubs, taxiing to friends, chats about Snapchat, school, getting detention, sex ed, drugs, friendship issues, self harming, relationships, MH etc. Teens often NEED someone there as soon as they walk in the door - and you can't plan for when you need to be emotionally available.

It’s hard OP but you do never get the time back. Can you do PT? Sorry not RTFT

You get so many weeks of unpaid leave up until your child is 16. It's the law. Why don't you use these and take the children out of childcare in the 6 weeks summer holidays and spend that time with them. Growing up goes so so fast. And before you know it they will be going to secondary school. It's crazy. Spend time with your family. You will survive. It's amazing what you can cut down on when you really try.

Good luck.

I wanted to update this thread. I told my employer how I felt and they are going to let me work 2.5 days from April in a slightly different role but one that is still appropriate for my level. I am so happy with this outcome!

Thanks everyone x

Great result @FrustratedGnat!

If you want the summer with the kids just apply to take 4 weeks parental leave (unpaid). It is an entitlement in law, though your employer cou,d defer the dares then it wouldn't work perhaps. The loss of 4 weeks' pay compared with no job is a good temporary fix.