Do you have a colleague who talks about her child ALL the time

[Hello113]

One of my colleagues talks constantly about her child. To the point she'll listen everything she's eaten that day. I feel bad but its so boring.

5 minutes is very generous!

Why does she need to be 'compassionate'

Yes, usually boasting about the incredibly profound thing their 3 year old blatantly didn’t say.

One of the new starters said my office is like a LinkedIn feed but for mums and their kids, and that’s exactly what it is.

Because being nice costs nothing, unless you're a mumsnetter in which case it leaves you a quivering wreck unable to face the world.

Yep. In my last office. The kid was amazing. She was an amazing mum. The kid went to the most expensive nursery when he was little. When she gets home he’s cooked a dinner every night. On and on and on and on. The reality was that because of her the kid was a nervous wreck scared to put a foot wrong because of her demands

No, I don't. Perhaps you should look for another job.

Another one with a colleague who went on and on about 'my Cecile' (name changed to protect the innocent) Honest to God, I knew as much/more about Cecile than I knew about my own kids and I was not a neglectful parent. The woman was a crashing bore.

I raise you TWO colleagues, both senior to me, both single young women, both talking constantly about their Ella-May, and what each Ella-May had for breakfast, wore at ballet, is having for Christmas, said to her teacher…on and on and on…while I do most of the work.

And to put the tin lid on it, neither of them have a child. They are both IMAGINARY children.

If they’re a sole parent or their dp works away or long hours, they may have no time for themselves at all. That’s their life.

Wait, what? Please explain!

@Monket yes, I have two colleagues who talk constantly about their imaginary child.
(Who happen to have the same popular name)
And no, they are not tragically infertile, they are young and single and have not started families yet.
’My Ella-May is having the next princess bed set with white carpet in her bedroom.’
‘My Ella-May was chosen to be Mary by all the other girls in her class’

They never run out of material.

Constantly being ‘nice’ about a self absorbed one-way monologue does take its toll on mental energy though... it’s draining, distracting and above all, deathly boring.

I ditched a long term friend over this shit. I ran out of a cafe once saying I was late for something else and she was still shouting the exact specifications of her daughter’s second year degree course at me! I have avoided her since. Life is too short for self obsessed dullards.

Maybe she doesn't have anything else
Going on in her life
So that's all she had to talk about

This. I'm in a walking group. Most people don't have children so they go on and on and on and on about their dogs and the ' amusing ' things those dogs do. The owner of Margot ( the precious cargo) is particularly annoying.

I'm still confused!
So do they know that you all know that these children aren't real?
They don't sound mentally well....

I know someone like this. Blahing on about their Grandson Tommy who sounds a bullying little shit at school. Eventually she will pause to regroup and always says:
By the way how's John? (My very unwell family member)

And I say: His name is FRED, not John. He's much the same.

And she then just continues blahing on about Her Tommy.
Rinse and repeat every time I am stuck in her company with all escape routes blocked. Batshit.

Yes, I had a colleague like this, but it was harmless and didn't bother me. I'm happy to listen to anything moderately positive and inoffensive.

I've worked with someone really grouchy before, much much worse.

Yes I have a colleague who does this, but it's a man. The ret of our team is female and have a broader range of topics we chat about.

Yes. The first thing she told me was that she has four children and started to tell me all about them. I told her I don't do kids, but I could tell her all about my dog. She hasn't mentioned them to me since. Others aren't as lucky lol.

Oh yes, they know that nobody thinks the children are real. Many of the staff went to the same school at about the same time.

Otherwise they would be totally convincing.

I've had two, in difference work places.

The most recent had to say her child's name at least three times per sentence. The name now goes through me.

The first one would just randomly spout something along the lines of "Sophie loves butterflies"......

does she? That's nice dear, but why the fuck have you just blurted that out in a silent room!?!?

Everything the child has eaten that day? That would irrate me too.

exactly!

That's a reason, not an excuse.