To not consider working full time again?

[puz]

I’m 45, with a four year old and a two year old (older parent if that isn’t obvious.)

My youngest starts school September 27. I always assumed I’d work part time throughout the primary school years but I don’t know if I’d be wanting to go back to full time hours when I’m 54 (when they’re both secondary age.)

Or AIBU? I worked FT until they were born so almost twenty years of pension contributions, for what that’s worth.

Do what you can afford.

You could always get part time work at some point if you wanted too.
I'm feeling quite deep remorse already that I could have done the younger years better and I was a stay at home parent.

I work part time, 3 days a week. I'm desperately looking for another job but part time is like hens' teeth.

So hard to find anything. My current employer wants me to do 4 days and ideally 5 but I think I'd have an actual nervous breakdown if I had to do my job full time.

I know, I think that. It’s fairly easy to get part time work in my line of work but you have to request it after working full time first. It’s hard!

I don't think you have to plan for ever again, but you have two young children close in age, if you want to and can afford part-time its easier with school drop offs etc..

Don't want to derail the thread but can I ask what you're feeling remorse about? Hoping to start a family soon and curiois to hear experiences about stay at home vs part time vs full.

You may change your mind or may need more money for retirement or may want to retire earlier by doing say 7 years of full time to save 14 years of part time. That said, do what you can afford and would like.

Can you afford uni fees?

If you feel you can afford it then do as you wish.

I worked f/t for 3 yrs after they were born but the nursery fees nearly killed me so I left & became a sahm. When my kids were in primary, I got a p/t job and then turned f/t when they got to secondary.

I wouldn't give up work completely, find a remote p/t job so you have something to keep you occupied during the day. Also, work as much as you can now before the peri/ menopause kicks in in your 50's. That's the time you want to drop to part time depending on your symptoms.

I'm at the end of your current stage - have worked PT in a flexible role throughout primary and DC3 is a couple of years off starting secondary.

I can't see myself going FT, unless drastic measures needed it. I have two older teens and being present for them for some of the working week is really important to me. I like the flexibility of PT for our family life.

I'm also late-40s and have zero amibition career wise any more - it leeched out of me a long time ago.

But never say never, keep your options open and if you want to go FT later, then you can.

@Sixpence39 sorry I found stay at home utterly grueling and hard work because I didn't have anyone to help me but I wasn't able for many reasons to have them in care until I got the free nursery hours. But simultaneously a privilege and incredible time.

What I mean is that it has all gone in such a flash..my eldest is 18 and my youngest has changed nearly over night and doesn't want to play card games or spend any time with us..
So I feel quite bereft that all of a sudden I feel like did I do enough, was I present enough have I been the best parent I could have been.

I’m 48 with a 19 and 16 year old. I have found that once ours were at secondary school they actually appreciated me being around more than when they were at primary so I’ve stayed part time.

Their issues, worries etc are bigger and when they want to talk they need to do it then otherwise you might well miss the opportunity.

Ok, my pension will be smaller and we’ve had to cut our cloth accordingly but I have no regrets.

It wouldn’t suit me, but you know best whether you can support yourself and your children on PT hours, obviously.

I would keep your options open for part
time work but if you can afford not to work FT during secondary years I don’t think you’d regret it.
I think in the teenage years they need you lots in different ways. Friendships become vital and if they go pear shaped they will want to discuss with you or have you around. Mood swings, exams (which feel permanent from about the age of 10), sport, academics, girlfriends/boyfriends, career advice can all take up a lot of time and planning.
Big kids still need lots of help! If you can be there do.

I heard this from so many people and worked full time until the eldest hit Secondary and I'm still part time now. Will go back to full time in a couple of years (at age 54) Zero regrets in doing so. The kids can't remember being in nursery but can remember me picking them up every day when they were older (I sent them out of catchment so no transport provided.)