Joint Party?

[IJustWantToEatChocolateAllDay]

Celebrating my DDs 5th birthday next weekend. We are doing the full works, princess themed, loads of decorations and an abundance of party food. This is the first time she has been excited for her birthday.

There are murmurs from some family members of the party being a joint do for my niece (cousins daughter) who is a teenager. I havent been asked yet but I suspect I will be soon. My niece lives far away so its her chance to also celebrate her birthday while all my family are together.

Not keen on this as I want to make it special for DD. I've never thrown her a big party before.

YABU - allow a joint party
YANBU - insist that its only a party for my DD

I cannot imagine a teenager wanting to share a party with a 5yo!

What will a teen have in common with a 5yr old? Are they going to bring their own decor, cake and attendees? Eg:friends.. why would they even think a teen would want to have a joint party with a much younger kid?

It's the teen I would feel sorry for, imagine being stuck in a party for a 5 year old!

If asked, which would be beyond weird, just laugh it off and decline saying how "childish" your chosen theme is.

YANBU.

Surely your cousin can organise her own daughters party? But im assuming a teenager would rather go out with friends for a meal/ice skating/etc. Not wanting to be around a bunch of 5 year olds.

We are a close knit family and it will only be family/extended family and family friends attending. The kids range from age 2-15. The theme will be princess but my niece is a young teen. I will be expected to cover the expense of food. They will bring a cake. The only reason they want to do a joint party is because they live far away and our family do not get together very often because we are located all over England.

But why didn't they invite? Or asked you about a joint party before you organised your daughter's party.

I would ask them to pay 50/50 if you say yes.

YANBU - No is a complete sentence and all that... or you could tell the CF's what you have said in opening post.

There can be several parties.

A) family party including both birthday girls but really for the whole family
B) party for 5 year old with school friends and lots of princess stuff
C) party for 15 year old with her friends and her stuff

Does your daughter feel like it would be less special for her?

Her party won't last long though so maybe do a family thing for the teenager after it like go out for coffee and cake. Not joint. Just next to each other

I havent spoken to her about it, she's only 5 and really excited about her party. I fear she's going to ger confused/upset if it turns into a joint thing.

If all the family are around, then the party is for your daughter and you can do something for your niece afterwards - pizza and a birthday cake, maybe?

Alternativley depending on there relationship she may like being included in the "big girls" birthday.

Certainly not worth upsetting her about, the elder child would understand the reasons why more so. Lots of good advice from others about an event before or after yours

Joint parties are for kids of the same age who have similar birthdays. Not for teenagers to share with five year olds?!
It's simply not appropriate. Teens want 'party' parties with dance music and possibly drinking, snogging etc. five year olds want pass the parcel and jelly and ice-cream.

Joint in what sense? If you’ve invited lots of family members who don’t get together often including another birthday child then I imagine there’s no way around those family members also using this event as an opportunity to mark the birthday of their other family member whose birthday it also is - you can’t prevent anyone wishing your niece a happy birthday / bringing presents and cards for her / bringing a separate cake along, and if you wanted your DD to be the sole centre of attention then liaising with your cousin over two events would have been best. I highly doubt they mean they expect your niece to invite her teenage friends and join in with dressing like princesses singing ‘Let it Go.’

How close to the party date is the 15yos birthday?

If it’s close, you can’t expect it to be ignored completely at a family only get together.

I think you're overthinking this. It's only family right? I think you're 5 year old won't mind at all but you seem to mind. I think it's a bit petty tbh.

It depends on when the teens birthday is. But it's rather unkind to get the whole family together when it's both girls' birthday and celebrate one's birthday and ignore the other's birthday.

Presumably, this is your neice, and you love her. Surely there must be some compromise or work around situation that would allow both birthday girls to celebrate their birthdays with their extended family?

I can't imagine getting a big gang of cousins together and only celebrating one birthday tbh. It might be your DD's party but having a cake and singing happy birthday to her cousin seems very normal to me, it won't cost your DD anything.

it's very weird

to expect a party for a 5 year old, and then 2 birthday cakes in the middle of it, one for the 5 year old, one for the teenager. Singing Happy birthday "5 year old" and laughing happy birthday "teenager" is fine, but that doesn't qualify as a JOINT party.

If the family is gathered together, surely it's afternoon party for the young child, and an evening/ early evening celebration for the teen?