To ask how to keep a tidy home with two children at home.

[Trufflebrie]

Can you please share your tips on how to keep on top of things at home when you have little ones? I feel like I cannot get anything done without one of my children causing even more mess/damage.

I work part time when DD4 and DS2 are at nursery and I’m at home / in the garden with them the rest of the time. DD4 has ASD and DS2 is on waiting list for assessment for ASD/ADHD and is a very energetic child.

We go a fairly long walk / to the shops using a buggy, but apart from that my eldest needs her downtime at home playing/sorting/drawing/crafting after nursery as she’s so overstimulated. I find that I cannot keep on top of the mess and get standard chores done throughout the day.

I mostly deal with the house by myself as DH works long hours. He is away in the morning a few hours before we get up and gets home for a late dinner and then does their bedtime with me / lies with our youngest for hours as we have major issues with his sleep related to ASD/ADHD.

So many of mums around me seem to have spotless show-homes and I feel totally inadequate and exhausted all of the time. Please help!

I like to believe that the spotless homes are only on social media - even the neat-freak mums I know have messy homes with kids that age. You are still in the really hard part of parenting and it will get easier when they are both at school.....at least that's what I keep telling myself!

Could you stretch your budget to get a cleaner for a couple of hours per week? Or have the kids help with the process and make it fun? Set a 25-minute timer at night and get as much as you can cleaned, but no more?

Hang in there.

In only have one and find it really hard. I have found investing in better organisation systems helps. For example we always had piles of clean laundry to be put away, we got fitted wardrobes last year which makes putting the clothes away much quicker which frees up space and time.

If it’s just mess they are causing with toys etc, can you limit the amount of toys they have access to and rotate them?

I am considering getting a cleaner to come once or twice a month, but DP isn’t keen.

Don’t compare yourself to other mums, they are most likely in the same position as you but just don’t tell you about it. Or someone I know did have an immaculate house, I found out she put her DS to nursery one day a week which she didn’t work so she could catch up, sounds bliss but I don’t know many people who could afford it

Boarding school

I bought the ikea organiser storage type unit and none of their toys properly fit in- gave them to my sister and she had the place looking like a professional unit(!) so I’d say don’t assume storage is the answer without knowing where things will go. Also look at the toys etc they use more of and take some of the others and put them away to be brought out again. Try to get the kids to tidy with you as a game too. They’re really difficult ages op, Id say try not to let it get to you too much and enjoy them enjoying things!

Your DH needs to do his share at weekends

You can't keep a tidy home with small children. So don't even try. Let them enjoy their childhoods.

Please don’t beat yourself up about this. With young kids it’s hard to keep on top of it all and with your added difficulties you will find yourself in a losing battle. The best thing I found was decluttering to start and giving everything a home. Keep your kitchen clean and your bedroom nice so that tour relaxing space is clear. The rest of it just do what you can when you can. When they are older you will find it much easier

We have types of toys packed in easy to reach boxes. This has helped curtail some of the less.

For example, Lego is in one box. Dolls and babies are in another. If I see them reaching for a second box when other toys are already out I ask them to put the first box away.

It helps... Occasionally. It's probably 20% more manageable than our old system, which was all toys out all the time.

A Slob Comes Clean really helped me get some traction. I’d recommend listening to the podcast from the start for her slob story.

If you get a cleaner, find one who is willing to tidy too. Some are only prepared to clean, so you might have to advertise/negotiate.

Out of all my friends with similar aged children, only 2 have pretty tidy homes: one whose children sleep a solid 12-14 hours per night and one whose partner works 9-3 from home with lots of flexibility for breaks during the day.

I have children who thrive on little sleep and a DH who works long hours, my house is passable at best. There are things I need to improve (keeping on top of folding&putting away laundry rather than having baskets of clean laundry) and I’m long overdue a big declutter. I’m trying to get more routine when it comes to housework but I’m also realistic in that it will always be very ‘lived in’ while my children are small.

Give yourself a break - parenting is hard and you are doing your best.

See i don't do this as I like dc being creative with toys and using different ones together in different ways. The lego is separate though to be fair but that's mainly due to how small it is and it's a choking hazard for the baby. Everything else is fair game to be mixed. House is a tip. I'm constantly trying to declutter but it's hard with dp.
All our stuff just gets shoved in bags or boxes when we need to hoover.

Someone said once and we lived by this is try and have a space that is child free. So your bedroom and maybe tv room? Having a place at the end of the day to go to that is neat and organised will help you feel a little bit better.

Oh and hyper organisation.

I don't allow toys on the landing or in the hallway and within reason not in my bedroom either.

In the last person to ask and have accepted my house will never be spotless, but one thing that's made a difference with my 2 and 4yo is insisting they tidy up their toys before bed. Made it a game to start with and I'm surprised how quickly it's become a part of their routine with minimal fuss. Helps me have a bit more motivation to tackle everywhere else when they're in bed.

Ultimately, a lot of keeping spaces tidy is about reducing the amount of stuff you have. Also have boxes for everything so everything had a place and gets put away at the end of the day.

😂😂😂 I feel like this is realistically the only way that I’d keep a tidy home right now.

I try to pack away most of the toys and not have too many things out at once but it's definitely hard , they mess things up so quickly.

Thank you all for your responses. I think that I need to declutter a bit and already do toy rotation, but we still have lots. Like PP had mentioned, my two love to mix their toys to play which stresses me, but I’m trying not to stifle their creativity.

Our house is clean enough (brushed / vacuumed/ spray mopped after meals and snacks throughout the day, run robot vacuum upstairs a few times a week (we only have soft toys up here as there’s not a chance I’d get either of them into their bed if we had their toys up there), bathroom clean, try to load dishwasher through the day as i go and run/empty before bed, trying to keep on top of washing - but much more difficult in winter!), but feel that I waste so much time trying to get simple jobs done.

I just clean and tidy as I go at the weekend, then on Monday from 8-9:30 I do a big house clean and tidy. Then they are at school all week so it stays relatively fine. We have an afterschool nanny who will make sure kitchen is tidy and toys put away. I tidy their bedrooms each evening when they are brushing their teeth and getting into pyjamas, choosing books etc. We have a separate play room so that helps contain the worst of the playing mess, but they are constantly messing up the dining room with drawing and play dough and food etc etc. I just tidy it once a day.

Well as far as I can tell the only way to avoid the mess is to not have any toys, make them eat in the garden, give them screens all day.

You are doing a lot still so don’t stress about it.
If You find 10 minutes free do something that’s bothering. There is lady who has a 30 day plan, I haven’t read it but she advertises it as easy to do, may be worth trying

Try not to compare your home with homes of others who may have circumstances very different from yours. Sleep and ND issues make a massive difference.

By the same token, a tidy home can be calming to children who are ND.

You mention your DD does playing, sorting, drawing, and crafting to wind down after nursery. Do these activities generate a lot of mess?
Would she like to sit in a little tent and listen to music on headphones instead? A friend of mine has a child who listens to soothing classical music every day when he gets home. It's a mess free activity.
Would she like a wipe clean slate/ magnetic drawing board instead of paper, pencils, and crayons?

Apart from all that, look at your home and decide what items are contributing to the sense of mess -
Untidy bookshelves,
Too many patterns or colours in curtains, wallpaper, soft furnishings, carpet,
Kitchen counters that have a lot going on,
Laundry drying or in various stages of the laundry cycle all over the living space,
Too many 'to do' piles (school paperwork, bills, socks to sort, stuff to bring upstairs),
Nowhere to put shoes or coats...

If you don't have a dryer, can you afford to buy one, and would you have a place to put one? A dryer makes laundry very plannable and efficient.
Would you be able to set some time aside to do a good declutter - start with your own clothes and do the DCs' clothes afterwards. Go through kitchen/ pantry too. Maybe get H to take the children out and get a friend or sister or your mum to come and help.

I don't find it difficult. I just do things as I go along, ie if I walk past something out of place I immediately pick it up and put it back where it should be. It's so much less stressful than leaving it all and then having to tidy up a lot of things!

I have been slated on here about this but I never let them have more than two toys out at a time. If they wanted another they had to put one away nicely first.

Every evening we had tidy up time before bed.

Don't put it down, put it away.

I say this to my lot, away not down. They still don’t get it 😆 only one of them isn’t old enough to put their things away!